((((AUTUMN)))) That sounds like a reasonable way to approach things when you resume your sessions. You are truly in a very difficult situation. HUGS, LieseRead More...

(((((LITTLE ME))))) I don't blame you for being confused. I don't know about anyone else but I think it was amazing you asked for what you wanted. And the way you said it was perfect. I"m so glad the P was understanding even though they can't offer you more. I don't know where you are or what the system is like so it's so hard to comment. They can't possibly offer anything else? It just doesn't seem right that they recognize you need help but can't give you the therapy you need. It sounds...Read More...

Update-I just finished my interview for grad school to become a T. I don't think I did so well. Anxiety got to me quite a bit (at least that's how I see it). The lady who interviewed me had really tough questions that I felt unprepared for. ugh. She did commend me on some steps that I have already taken to get to grad school except for in the area of certain types of volunteer work. This is the where I am deficient. She would like me to have more experience with working as a trained...Read More...

Thanks everyone for the replies. Sorry it has taken me so long to respond back - rough couple of days. So tired. i think all this strugggling with anger is physically exhausting me. Liese ~ Dance, an expressive thing, would be hard to contain anger in. I saw some icicles yesterday and snapped them and broke them. It was kind of satisfying. I also felt like some silly little kid. Laura ~ no, I can't really explain it. thanks for the hugs! Alpaca ~ I really liked your list of things to try. it...Read More...

Thank you you three. (((BLU LIESE GREENLEAF))) Someway, somehow, the next session ended up being a connected one. Therapeutic "make up sex" strikes again. I am going to try to roll with it, riding the high, and not fear the inevitable downturn... I really appreciate your words effedRead More...

((((((CAT)))) My progress in therapy has been agonizingly slow but I believe with all my heart and mind that I wouldn't have made any progress at all if it wasn't for this forum because I would have left therapy completely. There may have been times when it Interfered but overall I think hashing things out with You guys has been tremendously beneficial and opened my eyes in so many ways. And I'll be forever grateful. Just my take on it Hugs Liese Ps glad to hear that T made things Si easy.Read More...

Hey Broken. Welcome back I just wanted to say well done for being brave and posting AND for asking for your need to be met - ie asking people to welcome you back here. I think that's really brave and you should give yourself a lot of credit for that. Am so glad you have a new T who is making your inner girl make her presence heard to you. IS amazing stuff. Be kind to yourself. Hugs xxRead More...

LG... I think she was totally uncomfortable with the topic and didn't know how to respond and she HAD to respond so she was trying to keep the topic "light", hence the smiley face. This is where texting can cause problems. Obviously, some deep feelings and emotions can be triggered by a text ... yet texting is not the right way or the possible way to process the feelings, to be heard, and to work things out. It simply is not the medium for that. I think she should have texted back ... "I...Read More...

I'm baaacckk!!! Just!!! lots of love to you (((((pcd)))) MRead More...

Good question Greenleaf! No there is no Dr C. I guess I just put a boundary in the alphabet between my two previous Ts and my current one heheRead More...

Part of my trauma feelings involve me feeling cold- cold on the inside and outside, but I don't like it. so cold that i have to take a hot shower and drink hot water to get warm. Not much else works. I'm a skier and love it... but I don't naturally like cold weather. (I'm nevver cold when I ski because I am moving) I did find your post interesting, though.Read More...

Honey, if I knew about this my wonderful amazing T would be sitting right here next to me! But seriously, I'm sorry your mom is so unhelpful to you with this. Sometimes people who are not in therapy and are close to us feel threatened by the relationship we have with our T's. Perhaps your T could explain to your mother that you need therapy during the summer and provide some referrals for you. You would have to give permission for T to talk to mom. I think that seeing a T in summer is a good...Read More...

Yes, my T has a sheet she fills out every session. She is careful not to write while I am talking or we're in the middle of the conversation, so I actually don't always know what she is writing (as she will do some writing 5-10 min after something came up). One time she went to get water and I saw the form, as she left it out on the table and the first item on her sheet was "appearance of client." She tracks many things, med changes/current meds, my mood, appearance, feelings/thoughts,...Read More...

Thank you so much Yaku, Cat, xoxo, Sadly, and Autumn. Your supportive words mean a lot to me and are helping me re-frame some of my thinking. I will write more when I can....right now thinking too much about anything in particular is quite triggering and I don't see T till Monday again, feels like forever from now.Read More...

Big thanks to both of you! I know it's not normal and I know its worse to keep everything inside, but I just do not have any clue in the world why I'm so guarded with T again. It's like this imaginary wall is between us again but we both know its there. I'm so hesitant to take away the bricks while T is on the other side just waiting patiently for me. I know I can trust her with absolutely anything and everything but I just can't wrap my head around why I'm so distant. In between sessions,...Read More...

((((INCOGNITO))) Even though you question your progress, I can think of two times recently where you and your T were really able to connect. I like how he asked you if you really wanted him to ignore what you wrote. It sounds like he may be learning how to work with you better. All those thoughts that you have about wanting to talk to T and then not being able to get it out and then feeling frustrated, they are like a really strong piece of rope tied around all the other stuff. That knot...Read More...

Thanks everyone for your replies. I'm in a pretty bad spot right now. Things went from bad to worse and I'm just struggling. Couldn't post it in the OF, so if you have a few minutes to lend a listening ear (and to hear, unfortunately, some whining) please pop over to the sensitive issues forum. I'll try to reply to everyone more later. I have to go to bed before I get myself into more trouble.Read More...

Thanks Butterfly, Liese & Ninn. I have in fact decided to schedule a session this week with my T's associate in hopes of being able to work through some of the intense feelings I've been experiencing. I think this will be really helpful as to not make her return so entirely overwhelming to me.Read More...

Eliana, I find it kind of mind boggling too. But I have a living example. My husband sees the same T (he was actually his T first and we've seen him for couples' counseling) and although my husband has a lot of respect for and likes our T, he's very laid back about when he sees him and really never worries about what our T thinks of him. I can sometimes envy him. AGRead More...

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Did you wish your T had gone skiing with you? your T sounds cool. I really wish I knew where everyone on here was from. Im on the East Coast of the USA.Read More...

Hi LG, It does sound like your T gave you a lot of personal information. I'd probably feel like you given the circumstances. My T seems to regularly give out a lot of personal information... so much so that I had to tell her that I was getting too much info. As a result she has become more sensitive to what she discloses. The interesting thing though is that the information that she has shared has been really helpful in me seeing her as a whole person. In some ways it has helped me to open...Read More...

Hi Little Me, I'm really sorry that you have been having such difficulty in finding a T that really gets you & can work with attachment issues. It sounds though that you have been very resilient and have really been advocating for yourself - that's great. I hope that your upcoming meeting with your family doctor will work out well and that you may be able to get the specialist letter through him/her. It sounds like that could be ideal. Maybe, as you are exploring, moving abroad may be an...Read More...

Hey Effed, I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way. I definitely use humor as a defense mechanism as well, but my T always saw right through it. One particular session, I was trying to come off like everything was fine and dandy and I was joking around and being silly, but T had to ruin it lol. She looked at my kindly but sternly and basically said to cut the bull and that I couldn't pull that type of stuff with her. I still use humor to try and kind of play things off but T is quick to...Read More...

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate your input in all this. I think I'm starting to feel stuff but it's so hard. It's so painful. I woke up this morning and I felt sick to my stomach. I felt like my body wanted to panic a bit too. The first thought that came to mind was my wish to have had a family. I feel like T is the substitute mother-figure for me and for her to leave makes me feel so, so sad and lost and alone and I can't feel anger still. I think I might be starting to let my feelings...Read More...