((SG)) You are awesome! Thank you for the kind words of understanding and encouragement! It means so much to me. BrokesRead More...

I bet you probably will get angry at New T for a while for not being your old one. But that is OK I think and not something to be too worried about. Getting angry at my T last week and seeing how nonreactively she dealt with it actually increased my trust in her a lot.Read More...

((JANE)) You are so brave, and give me the strength and courage to forge on in my own therapy endeavors. Thank you for sharing everything with us--even though the emotions and feelings are so raw, please know that you are one step closer to healing, my dear. NOW, come here and get behind that couch with me!!!Read More...

Thank you for sharing such a beatiful, powerful breakthrough with your lovely T with us, Monte. I can feel the peace it brought, and the release. Love,xoxo, Christmas blessings, BBRead More...

Room2grow, Yes, it does help to know others feel similar. That in itself is conflicting, because I would never want anyone else to feel so bad....but we are all on our own journey and have joined this group to know we are not alone. You're quote about the wall is spot on and made tears come to my eyes. When I was a kid I would have given anything for even one person to climb over and be there so I wouldn't be alone. One person with whom I could trust my heart. Now, I can reflect back and...Read More...

Thanks for your kind posts. I did her a great funeral, and her family and friends really really felt it was perfect so that was good. I keep finding little gifts that she has given me over the years, from facecream to candles etc. I am going to feel the ache of missing her for a while yet. At least I got a chance to love her that deeply.Read More...

I know, it's funny isn't it?! This forum is so much nicer and more civil than a hundred internet forums I've been on where everyone is supposedly "normal." Ironic, much??Read More...

xoxo, Did you mean me? That I'm looking for more ways for my therapist to fail me? Naaah, I am A-okay with my T. He's the best. You have no idea how much he was there for me this week, supporting me as I start my new job. I'm amazed and incredibly touched and blessed. He gave me a gift. The gift of his caring. Like the parent I never had. I'm always working on mentalization. I'm actually glad I've read about it because I do believe just being aware of the fact that some people apparently do...Read More...

((Unbroken)) So happy for you that things are looking promising with this new T! Loved this. I think having that option for outside contact can be so helpful. When I left my session yesterday, T reminded me not to hesitate to call if I needed her. I think that was more healing for me than anything else we did or said in session that day! ((Unbroken)) Hope things continue to go well for you with newT!Read More...

Ah yes the staying away saga. I've got that right now. I've convinced myself away from my Mum. I want to spend xmas by myself but that too makes me sad. I'll be seeing her but for a few hours only. I get too sad there. The loneliness is something I really feel (My Mum's loneliness, and her reliance on me for her happiness). Good luck Raven ((hugs))You'll be okay.Read More...

Happy Birthday dear Yaku, I'm really praying you might have a lovely day starfishyRead More...

(((Unbroken))) I am so sorry you've had to go through this disappointment with your T, but kudos to you for having renewed motivation to seek out the help you need. I believe there is such a *big* difference between choosing a therapist mindfully and picking one haphazard. The first therapist I tried to work with was a disaster. It was very short lived and I never got attached, but it wised me up to the fact that choosing a T was something I needed to do carefully, using both my objective...Read More...

oh and Somedays..yes, my T will give me things to take home. I wonder if it's because of what you say here....for attachment?Read More...

((((Raven)))) I was thinking (and hoping) it would pass, but I've still been having a hard time since the session with lots of moments of confusion and other stuff coming up. Even having a hard time to make it through this right now, for some reason. Sorry if I go quiet again for a bit.Read More...

Well, I've done some reading on "being mindful" and even though my T does not tell me about it or teach me about it, whatever she does has helped me name my emotions, find them, get in touch with them, and accept them. She has also helped plant positive thoughts (whenever I am negative) and I find myself looking for positives now, too. Anyway, to be more specific about my small success story: yesterday I had a call from the hospital billing gal and I was immediately overcome in emotion.Read More...

I'll be following this post, and rooting for you. Yes, and wishing you peace as well.Read More...

Liese and Somedays: Gotta run for now, but your posts are thought-provoking and I want to think about them for a bit, give them the attention they deserve. I have indulged myself in my inner world for a bit here, now the outer world awaits...its SHOWTIME!Read More...

Good for you, Raven! You should be really proud of yourself for reading that to T, and that you've found a good way to share things with T that help you not freeze up. I completely understand that 'freezing up' deal when you have to think of things without anything to reference. I find that I get a little better and more relaxed as the session goes on, but it can still be a struggle. Way to go!Read More...

Hi again Hope Rising, Just remembered another similar experience I had with the T before my last T. He took a lot of notes, and I never asked him not to...but there were a couple of times when I brought things I had written/drawn, and I wanted him to go over them with me, and he asked to make copies so he could read/look along with me...and then both times, he asked if it was okay to put these in my file. With the thing I had written, I was fine with it, but with the thing I had drawn, I was...Read More...

((((INCOGNITO))) Oh, I don't think its wierd at all that the wants rise up and then fall. It probably has something to do with fear getting in the way. Fear blocks a lot of stuff from getting communicated in the brain. Hope you are able to see T soon and that he is feeling better. xoxo LieseRead More...

Re: T admits a big oneRead More...

Not well said. Glad you think you are worth it, because you are. We are. Thanks for helping me see this in myself as well!Read More...

My T's office is in her home... So when I arrive, I go though the yard and knock on the door... It never takes her longer than a few seconds to open the door. When I arrive, she unplugs the landline phone and turns on the timer thing on her iphone. She always turns the phone upside down on the table so she can't see the screen. There are no clocks in the room at all, at least, none that I've ever seen. Near the end of the session, I think it might be with 10 minutes to go... her phone makes...Read More...

Agree with Monte and LL on the session times. I wonder what your T would think about some of my sessions. I kind of feel like a bit of a freak. My longest (doing parts work around some memories) was several times what he feels the maximum someone can handle is. It was exhausting, but there was so much relief after processing that stuff uninterrupted. I often wonder how anyone can even work in 50 minutes. Sometimes I can barely start REALLY talking at that point... I guess whatever works for...Read More...

Just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you DF and hoping you are once again finding some balance and that you were able to process your session and calm the emotional storm. Your T sounds like she handled things really well. Let us know how you are doing. Hugs TNRead More...