Yep. I know what you mean. I've gotten myself into quite the pickle in this situation. It's been 16 years since my first T left (literally, moved out of the country) and I still have fleeting moments of longing for her. I was a lost teen who had been seeing her for a year and a half, and while I didn't feel attached then, once she was gone, I was heartbroken. I often searched to see if she was back in town and practicing again, but after 5 years of no luck, I had to find a new T. While I...Read More...

DF, it sounds to me like it means you don't feel safe as far as confidentiality or anonymity goes. Or perhaps the safety feeling is related to things you have told DBT T about your ex that seem like too much info to have shared? Is that possible?Read More...

Neither do i!!!!Read More...

(((Draggers))) (((BB))) Well, I had to text my T yesterday, but only to let him know he had SPAM (my emails have been going into his SPAM folder for some reason, so he likes me to warn him when a journal entry gets sent), to find out whether my session was Monday or Tuesday (Tuesday) and to remind him that if he and H are going to talk about my stuff, I expect to be invited. Other than that, I haven't texted at all and feel good about it. I was actually annoyed I had to text him for the...Read More...

Oh BI - You and I are sailing on the same ship right now. I too have gotten that kind of response from my T. My T is currently is vacation, and we left things on a very harsh note, and it's just crushing me. So I do know, take is easy. GGRead More...

Thanks Liese, Broken Illusions, Draggers, STRM, and TN. I'm writing on my phone. I'm away for a beautiful weekend And I'm remembering my friend. I'm sad but in a way I'm at Peace with the sadnessRead More...

So, it looks like I might be in for the long haul. LOL! Well, that's okay with me. I am just scared T will start pushing me out sooner or something. I have a lot of issues in my past that we need to work through, and our main issue of working through this attachment this is primary right now.. since I find myself attaching to strong older female role models. I think it's because my mother was such a weak figure in my life that I do this. BUT, I'd be okay with paying T forever to play that ...Read More...

Thank you yaku My t thinks I'm a joke or nothing I saw has any meaning. Shenever called too. I trusted her. I worked so hard to do so. The pain is so bad I find myself wanting to be drunk.Read More...

Oh, I am smiling now so its okay. Cuz I went away for awhile to take the kids to a parade and then I've been working on my homework. And then, pleasant surprise, when I found my way back here just now there are some very nice replies from my friends Deepfried and STRM. And I think all I needed (for this go-around, anyway) besides being able to air the conflict, was to be understood. So thanks, guys!Read More...

GG DF YAKU Thanks you guys. I'm glad I'm not alone in this. I too still have to put gas in my car and that is enough to make me broke right there. I still have to buy my cigs too. Sheesh! It just doesn't end. I hope things get better for you folks too! GG - Wipe your ASS ROTFLMAO pretty funny! Even though I know it really isn't. Thanks for reminding me.Read More...

Thank you, DragonFly, for your kind words in regards to my poetry. I love writing. It makes me feel happy. It's one of my many releases. I will be open to sharing more with you all in the future. As far as the name thing, I am not sure if I feel spacey. It seems to trigger some type of anxiety in me for some reason, though. I noticed it today when a customer looked at my name tag and said my name a few times in our interaction. I was like "WOAH..." I am interested in my next session to see...Read More...

Hi Elly and Dizzy Alice... welcome to the boards. I'm pressed for time now but I think it may be helpful if you do a search on this board for "attachment" as it has been discussed a lot. We all struggle with this so you are not alone and will find good support here. I also want to mention that what you both describe... wanting to cling and wanting to flee (run) from your T's sounds to me like you have a disorganzied attachment. If you google this you can see if the description fits. Elly ---...Read More...

JMB and MH, Thanks for taking the time to read and respond. I think my frustration is less about wasting the session now that I think about it and more that I couldn't just stay numb and detached the whole time. To have those emotions and memory bits intruding during the end of my session when I intellectually knew I could not allow them to surface and there was no time to share them is what really bothers me. The analogy I came up with is extremely inappropriate, so much so that I can't...Read More...

((Hemlock)) Nice to meet another phone-phobe. Well, just when I was beginning to think that I may not even get a call back, she called..finally! I only feel marginally better today, so it was good she called. Like I thought, since her phone was off, she had no idea she missed a call and had a message from me until later this morning. She apologized more times than I can count. I felt bad for it but ended up telling her that it seemed fitting because I felt like I deserved punishment and part...Read More...

((((((INCOGNITO)))))) That's happened to me a couple of times in therapy, where I've run into a wall and felt as though there was this thing that I either needed to tell T or stop going because there was nothing else to talk about. As hard as it was to tell him, I forced myself to talk about whatever it was and it was well worth it. It seems to me that once you share everything with T about your life, once he knows absolutely everything about you, you can start to construct a life story that...Read More...

Ninn, why did you choose this nickname? Have you heard about the little girl Ninn from the Moomins? When I chose my nick I was thinking about Ninn, Think she´s called Ninny in the english version.Read More...

Dragonfly, that must have been really hard to feel that way about yourself. I don't quite get all this. We are exposed to something we never had to realize that we still can't have it? That's supposed to heal....? I can't accept that it is supposed to work like this. I'm just angry and annoyed. There is part of me that keeps saying that' I'm better looking than her and it is me who he wants and cares about. Nothing can take him away from me... except myself. There is another part of me that...Read More...

I've had thoughts like this as well. And yet I keep going back.Read More...

I'm sorry MH I didn't get to post to you before now, but I'd like to say now how pleased I am for you and that though there was a compromise you feel a whole lot better now. That was a great text response from your T, isn't it amazing how when someone says the right thing, it can change everthing. Had she answered differently, you may very well not have gone in at all and this could all have escalated even further into crap feelings. So good for your T and good for you for going in. LLRead More...

Ooh DF, caramel centers would be awesome! We could be milk duds! ((((Forlorn)))) Thank you, that meant so much to me to read. I'm so glad you found the movie. Thank you for taking the time to post this.Read More...

Yes, these are exactly the type of things we have been focusing on. Thanks for sharing where you and your T are at and I'm so glad things are starting to open up a bit for you with your wonderful T. Really good to see you call him your T and not your NewT too, though I know that is sometimes the case. I just really see you growing closer lately, despite what a hard journey it sometimes seems to be and it is really heartwarming to witness. I am so happy for you each time you are able to take...Read More...

Hi smiley, This is why I am on a break from therapy. I felt like I was wasting his time and my money. When I am feeling strong- it's all good, but there are times when it is tough and I mostly have to rely on my self. I wanted to see if I could do it. I do txt T once- about every 2 weeks. We briefly exchange ideas, and for now, that works much of the time- but not all. Sorry about the personal conflicts in t's schedule that are causing you angst.Read More...

Hello there Ninn, I hope your sessions with T and P went ok. If you feel up to it, let us know how you’re doing? LLRead More...

Hi Lady Grey, I want to thank you for your response. I understand what you were saying. I did not think you were accusing me at all. I appreciate your understanding. Right now I am in my rational mind about this. I think my emotional mind is spent. I had already decided to send a much shorter letter but not to T1- the one who mishandled it. I sent it to T5 who runs the program where T1 works. In addition, T5 and I had a personal relationship as advocates for families who have kids with...Read More...

Thank you LG- Maybe what I mean is that...in his therapisty way, he could *like* to forget about me...i.e., not be at all emotionally involved, have no emotional reaction of his own to me and my failed treatment- which is what as a therapist he is supposed to do, but it just hurts. I'm really, really hurt that he would promise to respond and then not do so. I'm hurt that he would do that to himslef as a therapist,, because, even if it is just forgetfulness, it is unprofessional. If it is...Read More...