Thanks everyone for the moral support! BG & STRM, you are right that if she didn't want to risk running into me then its her own fault for telling me about it and encouraging me to go. And I know she's BTDT with her own kids, although I can't help thinking she was probably a much more competent parent than I am. But hey, I've never pretended to be a perfect parent to her before either. LG, you always make me laugh. Yeah, I should have marched right into session today and demanded to know...Read More...

Jane, I know that in my case the longing to be hugged and held safely, in a completely non-sexual way, has been just below the surface for about half of my therapy. My T officially said no to physical contact when we started doing the interviewing. I told him that means most likely no access to young ones, because that's where they're at. He said he would pray about that, so who knows, maybe at least a pat on the shoulder or something sometime in the future. Anyway, I think if you have been...Read More...

Thanks so much STRM, Beebs, FOT, Ninn and LG for your support. Just to be clear ... July 1st was the beginning of the end.... not the day he actually abandoned me, although he did abandon me in an emotional and therepeutic sense. He would never after that day do therapy with me. I tried. I really tried. I brought things in, I wrote him a letter expressing my confidence in him and our relationship to finish what I started in therapy, I read to him from books. I tried everything I could think...Read More...

incognito Well done you! I am really poud of what you achieved and your ability to turn that situation around so beautifully. starfishyRead More...

Hi TN Just to chime in with my thanks for sharing your sessions, they are always honest and useful to read especially for us therapy newbies ThanksRead More...

Thanks for the hugs Liese. I should explain more about today to give you more info. My T did respond to my voicemail with an email this morning addressing some of what I said and telling me he hoped I reconsidered coming in tomorrow for my session. I was upset and called him and asked him to call me and then I wrote him a long email explaining why I was so angry. He called me back at lunchtime and we spoke for 7-8 min. That conversation was difficult. He told me he is willing to talk about...Read More...

Beebs.... It's okay. I appreciate your hugs. I'm sorry you are missing your T so much and I understand how much it hurts right now. It does get better with time... lots of time and some guidance and support. TNRead More...

((((MH))))) Thinking of you. Everything okay?Read More...

((((INCOGNITO))))) Where are you? Everything okay?Read More...

I started seeing current T for social anxiety. I had just moved to a new area and started a new job, which tends to increase my anxiety so I was trying to get a jump start on finding someone in case my anxiety got bad again. Initially I started seeing her every two weeks but it is sometimes hard to schedule appointments due to my schedule as I work two 12 hour day shifts and two 12 night shifts. So it sometimes ends up being around 3 weeks between appointments. I think I have had around 5 or...Read More...

Hi Willow I wish I could say something to make it go away for you but I can't except to say that we are here for you. It's very brave of you to recognise that transference is occuring (there are some other posts on here about transference and people who are more experienced with that in t might be able to offer some stories here to you) its a tough call to say what you should do but then you are also recognising that it is a tough call (lots of insight in your post) and you name your...Read More...

Hi Othermother, I haven't had a chance to do any reading yet (work is a trifle demanding at present) but am looking forward to it (especially with TN and Beeb's recommending it.) Thanks for sharing it here and welcome to the forums! AGRead More...

Thanks you guys! I really appreciate the support and encouragement. I've been intherapy before, but it has never been like this, with a T that is so good for me! It is Soooooo much harder than it ever was before, but she makes me feel so safe it is actually a little scary. At this moment I actually wish I could call her (and I can call and leave a VM if I really wanted) because I am at a workshop till Friday and am having major anxiety over staying in this hotel room for the next two nights.Read More...

((((Jane)))) hope you have heard back from your T by now. Let us know how you are doing, k?Read More...

wow, I just went back through some of my old posts (Thanks for reminding me of them LadyGrey) And I totally forgot about this messy situation with ex-ArtT. Damn, I should've seen this termination coming. How did I not see it coming?! therapist, hmpfh!Read More...

LL, I am speechless...still When I read this the first time I couldn't respond because I literally had no words. I'm actually trying to combine a list of sorts and see which ones stick out. So far Too much personal disclosure has been mentioned a lot. I appreciate everyone contributing like this. I know it can't be easy remembering this stuff. I agree, I think these examples should be in a textbook somewhere. Screw Freud, let's talk about what's going on right here right now.Read More...

Thanks DF! Only day 5 I guess, but still!Read More...

I am just going to write on this post tonight. It was a rough day yesterday with Father's day and today was not good either. I believe I had mentioned that I take medicine for health reasons. Well I have RA-Rheumatoid Arithritis and it is severe. I take some heavy meds-and today I had to have a medicine infusion done. Normally it takes about 3 hours but today it took 5 hours. I had to have lot of Benadryl put it me to stop a reaction and got nausea from it too. I had driven myself to the...Read More...

Sadly is your son sick? Did I read that right? It sounds like you are having such a rough time lately. I hope you can weather all of this and come out of the other side to a better place.Read More...

I'm so glad that the longer session deal got worked out a bit more. I was surprised at how he reacted to it in session, so it was really great that you emailed for more clarification. I suspect there's going to be a lot of us who are T-less the week of the forth, yours truly included. Anyway, take care..thanks for keeping us updated. (((hugs)))Read More...

(((TN)))) I've had experiences like that too when my T doesn't show the emotion that I want him to show. We've started to discuss this but he hasn't given me any answers yet. IMO, it's an important discussion to have. My last therapist (she was wierd) would kind of pretend to ignore me and then say she didn't realize how much distress I was in. And, so with this T, I'm kind of like, did you get how distressed I was? You need to know how distressed I was. And I can't tell if you're not...Read More...

Thanks LG and Yaku. I think that I said all that to him, with my hand on my mouth, giggling a lot, and really shocked that I was saying it at all but feeling utterly safe. SweetP is so safe. He was actually encouraging me: " Go on, S, please try and say more of this if you can." It was very lovely to be able to let off steam and not get shouted at. It was really kind of him. He KNOWS I am finding the holding issue really hard and has been asking me for over two months about how I feel about...Read More...

Yaku, R2G, LG, Df and STRM, Thanks so much for the cheerleading. It's been hard but hopefully beneficial. T also told me that I have many core strengths, that I'm very determined and very motivated. That was really nice to hear. He made some nice eye contact when he apologized for being insensitive. Or maybe it was me who was finally able to allow the eye contact to happen. He also reiterated that there is no time line for me. He knows how far I am from reaching any of my goals in life but...Read More...

Yaku, Getting triggered is so tough. To me, it's like having two realities in your head at a time but the one becomes so overwhelming and I lose the ability to sort things out. I was in a little car accident yesterday and as I was looking through my car for my insurance info, I got triggered. All I could hear was this voice, saying "you idiot, you're so f**king incompetent, who did you think you were to bring these four children into the world when you can't even keep your insurance info in...Read More...