Forlorn, I am sorry you are dealing with this. I know how painful a termination can be. I have read some of your older posts from last summer, and it seems as though you were feeling hurt by T all the way back then, about 9 months into your therapy. You talked about how she pressured you to talk, when really a T should be willing to sit in silence with you if that is what you need. You also mentioned that she told you that you weren't special to her, and there were other hurtful things. When...Read More...

Hi LG... this comment with Monte's comments on the other thread gave me the motivation to send him that email about bringing in stuff and also telling him again what I felt I needed to be in place before I could go on to the scarier stuff on the other side of the wall. I guess I needed to feel that he could offer me some of the warm fuzzies that help to ground me, make me feel more safe, and help with my emotional regulation. Especially because I have to get back to normal and go back to...Read More...

Oh (((BB))) Greater love ... page two!!! sheesh!! Thanks my friend - you know I'm around and thinking of you but my care and hugs by post is all I can offer to you while you're going through such painful stuff! The insights, advice etc put forward by our forum family members is excellent so I don't worry on that account as there is plenty of support!! I'm sort of in a weird place that can only be described as putting one foot in front of the other - no major dramas - just an underlying...Read More...

I hope you are doing ok today, incognito. I'm feeling sorry about the way my reply to you came out, because it didn't say what I intended, and on re-reading it just now, I realized I was writing a lot of it more to myself than to you...I am sorry about that. I need to be more careful posting, as I am in a bad place and should consider more careful before I write, lately. I meant what I said though about you being lovely and me liking you. I hope that is ok. hugs, BB I hope you are doing a...Read More...

And that's what makes you wonderful SG my heart just melted when I read the situation between you and your daughter. It's the determination to be the best mother you can, along with the humbleness to know that no one will be perfect, that makes you a wonderful mom. I'm sorry to hear about the move. Those must be odd feelings to have and to try to process. Do you think she would be open to occasional updates? Like a card from you every once in a while. It might help, even if you don't keep in...Read More...

Welcome, Ninn- you are going through so much. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I am honored to meet you. hugs, BBRead More...

(((((Frosty)))) good for you I am so proud of you! You did a great job and I'm glad that things ended on a positive note and with you in control. I think she said that because she clearly wants to hear from you sooner rather than later, and will be wondering how you are doing. I'm sorry I don't have more time, I will be back later on... hugs, BBRead More...

It's so great to read this, Jones- I'm glad for you. Manatee seems very caring and in tune. I too feel badly about the creative work and you feeling like it may not be the place to get that mentoring or validation that can b so motivational. But it is probably something that needs to be found within- I'm not sure. At any rate- I love the sound of the work you do together and you just seem like a really good "team." thanks for sahring- Love, BebeRead More...

((((Meghan)))) just wanted to say hi and that i was just thinking of you. hope you are doing well.Read More...

((((Sadly))))) I hope you were able to get some rest. Sobbing can take so much out a person. So glad sweetP was there for you.Read More...

Blackbird, thank you for your response. I do think expressing it makes the most sense, but it just doesn't seem to matter to my H....you're right, it has been hard work. 11 years of hard work and I want to give up. I think that is why I can no longer express it, I think I have given up. I think I used to express it fine. You're right about physical ways....I need to get back on the treadmill. I know I feel better after a good jog on the treadmill. Stomping on pop cans would be great,...Read More...

Thank you for your understanding Kashley. There is no need to be sorry for not posting more, we all have our own stuff to deal with and your support already has meant alot to me...plus I haven't been around or in the right place to offer others much. Thanks BB, I did have someone to talk to but she is so busy at the moment. I will be ok...this is all just another learning curve that I will get through. Thank you both for my hugs. ButterflyRead More...

((((Jane)))) Thinking of you. Not having much wisdom to offer here, but I understand how damaging that lack of faith can feel. Things will be OK if you just keep stepping forward, but I'm sorry that it's so hard to do.Read More...

(((((TN)))) I am glad you and T are good. It iwll take a bit more time to totally and completely resolve, but it will all turn out ok in the end, because he's a T with integrity. BBRead More...

(((LG))))Read More...

thank you UV! and i really appreciate your support and advice. to be honest, i have never taken any meds. when i first went to see a counsellor when i was younger, she suggested antidepressants, but at the time, i was just beginning to figure out what was wrong with me, and i strongly felt that i needed a clear head, and that i needed to feel - the depression and everything that was coming up. i think i was afraid that they will make me feel even more numb then i already was. so i think that...Read More...

((((((PF)))))) I'm sorry I am so late to this thread. I haven't been on here as much lately and I didn't see this until now. I am soooooo terribly sorry for what sounds like a very painful and awkward experienced. I winced as I read it because I can truly imagine what that must have felt like. I really think that although it won't be an easy conversation, that it is critical that you talk to her about this during your last session. I think she needs to hear that you were surprised that she...Read More...

Oh True North, how I LOVED reading this. I feel so supported in this attachment journey, by your dear T- and I love how accepting and affirming he is of where you are at. How utterly lovely. I have been away, just posted on my blog - so feeling like I am home again.Read More...

I think it is very common to those who have suffered emotional deprivation, especially from a very young age. this very topic is discussed in a book I recommended on the book forum, called "healing the unaffirmed..." ((((hugs)))) BBRead More...

Liese, you are not a jerk. You're just in a really painful situation. When I read about your interactions with your T I feel for you because I think that consulting T may be on to something. It's good to always remember that Ts are human and they, just like us, react to relationships that they are in. The problem is WE (the client) are so vulnerable that real damage can be done. A good T consults outside of therapy with other Ts (never using patient names) in order to keep their baggage out...Read More...

Jones, TN - thanks. This is the safest I've felt about my therapy in weeks...just having him be so transparent. I don't think he was purposefully being vague before, but I was just not able to show him what I need as directly. I think one major improvement is that I am now giving him a brief summary of what I NEED him to know before my journal entries and asking that he focus on the summary and letting him read or ignore the journal as he chooses. I'm also forcing myself to talk about the...Read More...

It seem s like it might be really important to know what you need from therapy as in, do you need a listening ear, do you need coaching, do you need acceptance, are you looking for interpretations on why you react to things the way you do...etc..then it may be easier to see, if your T is meeting your needs. you could ask your T why he goes into all these stories with you, and what his purpose for doing that is? Ultimately, I beleive that most of us enter therapy to try to get our emotional...Read More...

Yaku, I'm so glad that you were able to ask your T what he meant. I know it can be really hard to go back and ask for that clarification. (((hugs)))Read More...

Hi Someone My T is currently away (week 1 of a 2 week break), and I was freaking out big time before hand so in the last session I read a letter I wrote about all the feelings about the break to her (addressed it to someone else, not her) but at least we got to the feelings, then out of the blue before we even started the letter she said she would like me to have something of hers to look after in her absence (she has a little stone heart) on one of her tables and handed it to me saying now...Read More...

TN, your picture issue with T triggered this thought: One of my T's clients signed him up for facebook and put his picture up. He denied having a fb page, but there it is- picture and all. He never uses it though. We joked, maybe his client is running therapy on line using his fb page. Funny- because he does not even know the password to get on his own page. He is computer savy- but he just doesnt care about it. Maybe your T has a fb page-or linked in.Read More...