(((((frosty)))))Read More...

What a revealing session. I think he made the right decision in self disclosing as it is part of the reason why he has messed up with you twice and I loved your power dressing, will remember that if I need it. I think he certainly realised he had to eat humble pie and appropriately. Well done. I am impressed actually. With you and with him for being well and truly able to apologise and admit what a F*CK up he did. He is really able to accept that and take it on board and he did not seem to...Read More...

Thanks for checking in, TN. I sent him just a single text today to say I'm tentatively reestablishing the thread and projecting that he was glad to be rid of me and frustrated to be receiving my texts again and that feeling that way hurts. So, it is reestablished, but I am not feeling the need to send him anything else, which is relieving. That way, I am not avoiding him out of trying to manage HIS boundaries and not contacting him in desperation just to get by (which is OK once in a while,...Read More...

I just wanted to say that I read your blog on your whole session with sweetP and I'm so glad you have him with you in this. It makes me so happy to think of your little one receiving his care!Read More...

She was clever in that everything that she wrote down makes her look impeccable, and there are no guidelines on the ethics code for the BACP for termination or referall. It DOES say she should have referred me to someone which she didn't. I am working on it. I don't hold out much hope. You have a real case with your ex T though.Read More...

TN How are you?Read More...

I like your pic!!! we will be here (and our posts) whenever you are ready to log in and read more. for now, take really good care of you. you are a survivor, and so much more. safe hugs, ~jdRead More...

I just wanted to tell you all about my session. I did go to it and it was akward and difficult for the first half. T was talking about the parts of my email that we've already discussed. I was frustrated because I thought he was avoiding the touch conversation but I couldn't say anything about it. Eventually he asked me how affectionate my parents were when I was child which broached the topic of touch. He told me that he never assumed that a handshake was okay with a client but that he was...Read More...

Yeah, it's nice to have the option, even if you decide something else works better for you. Totally, share the list! I haven't been on the forums as much lately (taking care of me), so PM me if I don't respond, so I can make sure to check it out!Read More...

JOnes, Thank you for explaining. I see the distinction you are making more clearly now.Read More...

I agree with Jd's sentiments. Take care of you!!! HeleRead More...

Morgs, you offer so much too! Thank you for your support...I shall hold onto your hugs and caring thoughts. I hope things will work out too...I shall keep my fingers crossed that there are happier times ahead. Look after yourself FluttersRead More...

Meatloaf...yummy! You are making me hungry!Read More...

I'm glad they are trying. If they kept it up, I'd have to psychically kick their @$$es, somehow...anonymously, without knowing who or where they are.Read More...

Glad to know you're back safely SadlyRead More...

Thanks, DF. I could really receive and relate to everything you have to say. Especially, the above. I actually spend WAY more time talking about me, my journey, my growth, my processing and understanding of myself than I do about my T. So, in a way, I am obsessed with therapy as much as I am emotionally fixated on T at times. I think if H had described T as a tool in the way you say (like a resource), I could have accepted it. The way he meant was, "use and discard," and with my...Read More...

Thanks BG... I've read what you wrote, and I will write a proper reply tomorrow...right now things are really black, so I can't really write about me. Thanks for your advice, support and the virtual hug. It helps, really. MayRead More...

Yes, dr, I have experienced much of what you write about ( and still do). The best I can say to you is hold tight, do not make any major decisions regarding your feelings and give it time. Be gentle with your wife and family, and don't expect them to understand- most likely they won't because your experience is not theirs. As you work through your issues, your feelings may change. My T calls it "the ebb and flow" of the relationship. My T allow me to work out relationships with him. He says...Read More...

I don't see why T2 couldn't just say, "Oh, well this is just an issue of semantics. If that is the way you mean 'gay,' than I was just misunderstanding, because I have a different definition for it." Then, she could have explored how you felt about it and let go of her need to control the definition. Blah. I think that would have been more useful, even to her knowledge of you, than fight over something that is obviously a matter of definition (and one that is VERY important to you). I doubt...Read More...

No, but that's a good place for me to start. I could ask her about that. Mostly she has just talked about how difficult it is for me to form attachments to people because of my past (my father was my attachment figure and he died a few weeks after my 16 bday and my mom was not really there for me growing up). So we haven't really talked about theories regarding attachment. Mostly just have been talking about how scary it is for me.Read More...

seablue - I'm sure T knows how much you are hurting and isn't judging you. I can understand how horrible it feels to "waste time" being disconnected or distant. I would hazard a guess that it's a protective measure. Try to be gentle with yourself, if you can. I think your hurt, your anger and your protective feelings are all very normal and relatable from my perspective. I wish I could do more than empathize, but I'm here for you. ((((((hugs))))))Read More...

Welcome here sugarshild...thank you for sharing your email to your T with us. Your feelings of longing for a father resonate very strongly with me. I'm sorry you are bearing so much pain. I hope that your days get better and better. Nice to meet you, BBRead More...

(((((((((BB)))))))))) I understand the blanking all too well. It happens to me too and I happen to KNOW I trust my T more than anyone except my husband. I am not exaggerating here. After eight months, I communicate with him deep, vulnerable stuff more often and more easily than ANY other person except the guy who has been sharing my bed for almost eight years and I've been with for over 12. And, sometimes I even have an easier time talking to T than H. That said, I still often have trouble...Read More...

((((R2G)))) It is so hard went the walls melt. It's good to know I'm not alone in this journey. So glad for my T too! Thanks, jdRead More...

I'm sorry you're having such a hard week, R2G, but glad you were able to have the extra sessions with T and you seem to be so much more comfortable with needing T, which is such a good resource to have. ((((((((((R2G))))))))))Read More...