(((Empty))) that was so brave to leave after investing 5 long years in the relationship!! I'm afraid I don't know the procedures for reporting abusing Ts - your current T may be able to advise!! and there are people here who have been through this and will advise. It's a hard decision to make as the ripple effect will be wide, but what feels most important to me is that that she could be hurting other vulnerable clients and reporting her may mean she gets help herself and doesn't practice...Read More...

Jones - I don't think you oversimplified. I think you made a very valid point from the content of my posts. I think my tendency to process in writing stems from my inability to recall anything in person. I sometimes blank so hard I feel like I am not even in the room. My writing is a way for T to not have to play 20 questions with me to get me to talk at all. I don't want to sit there for an hour and waste $125 with him saying, "Well, how about things with your Mom? No? What about marriage...Read More...

(((Yaku))) (((STRM))) I see my T in an hour and a half. I still can't believe I actually took her up on her offer and called for the extra appointment, of which I know she's going into the office early to accommodate me. I can't believe I have gotten that desperate.Read More...

Incognito, I agree that your daughter must feel really safe with you to say all of that to you. It sounds like you handled it well. I'm sorry your session didn't go well and you felt like you weren't able to talk about what you needed to. I've been there and it sucks. I'm sure your T would welcome any discussion regarding how the session went. I hope the next one is better!Read More...

Thanks, Sadly. It's OK if you just write a few lines while you're away. I hate to think of you writing all these replies that evaporate into the ether. It must be frustrating and take a lot of your time. I appreciate you making such an effort to reply to my posts! (((((Sadly)))))Read More...

I get this experience in session quite frequently. Occasionally it happens at home and I don't notice people trying to interact with me (sometimes H or my daughter). H has yelled at me for "ignoring" them.Read More...

I know this place well....When I feel it, I try to remind myself it is the ED trying to take me down. I really hope you can talk to your T even if it doesn't feel good at first. Whatever you decide, please be kind to yourself. Grrrr....this subject makes me soooo angry!Read More...

Incognito, Started this a couple of days ago and never finished. Was trying to locate those articles for you but couldn't yet. I gave them to my T. I should have kept a copy. I'll keep trying. They really helped me feel kinder towards my needy side. Almost like there is a side of me that bullies that needy side, almost like I don't need a bully anymore. I do it to myself. I think the bully side is actually to protect me but winds up hurting me because I'm not getting certain emotional needs...Read More...

Dear AG I'm watching, reading and sometimes managing to post too....but I care about you and your journey. Thanks for the updates that are so intuitive and open, you are an insiration to us here I am sorry too, to read about your losses and pain, but am glad you are in such safe hands with your T. Take care, starfishRead More...

I joined Easter Choir and our first practice was today, so that took my mind off things a bit. But H was very angry and pissy that I am taking on more outside activities while not accomplishing my "job" at home (meaning I'm not keeping as up-to-date with chores and not doing as well with our daughter as either of us would like. It's like I can't win for trying. Blah!Read More...

Jane, I'm really glad what I said helped. When I read this, it made me think of a quote from a book that I'm reading right now, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamont: And evidently, what kind of horse. Cadence may have been short-lived, but she lived when she had the chance, and has passed that lesson on to you. You honor her by taking your own risks and actually living your life. I know it is scant comfort right now, but the impact she has had on your life gives...Read More...

my sweet P said often says that he was thinking about some comment I said, or something I wrote, or that he was talking to his supervisor about it, and of course I think "gosh, he was thinking about me OUTSIDE of a session!" It is nice to be thought about. I like it when they reveal something like that.Read More...

Butterfly, I am so glad you will try to talk to her about it. As you said, you haven't really been seeing her very long and maybe you have to give it more time for the feelings to develop. I know you had a hard time with your dependency feelings for your last T. But maybe it is something you really need. Although I think you said this on another thread, that you just want more of a balance this time. Maybe the two of you can work together on developing that balance. If she has maternal...Read More...

SB, I am so glad that your T expressed horror at how terribly you were treated by the rude T who forgot about you. I hope her reaction served to reinforce just how unprofessional that was. I also hope that she told you that it wasn't anything about you, but was simply about the other Ts poor lack of scheduling and unprofessionalism. Picturing your T sitting there with a big smile on her face when you joked about her telling her partner that she is a feminist and not willing to pick up and...Read More...

UV, Thanks so much for replying to this thread, I had missed it! And thank you for the article. I love sailing and thought it made the perfect analogy for the tension in therapy. Jill It was just wonderful to hear that you are doing well, I hope your work with Dr PA continues to help you. I am glad you trusted yourself to know what you needed. And thanks for updating us! AGRead More...

LG gut reaction vs head reaction, believe me I'm an expert at stuffing both of them up! talk with T2 - she appears much more solid, even if she didn't mention the call! are they having a problem with each other? from what I know of life, 3-way relationships just don't seem to work! Hmmmm!Read More...

Oh (((frosty))) gosh you're honest and often so hard on yourself!! Firstly, it's just great that she's told you she likes you and you 'feel' it!! You don’t need to worry about becoming attached – she’ll help you with that when it happens also. IMO What you’re forgetting here is that when you do get rid of your phobias and are who you want to be, you will grown into adulthood emotionally also – these problems are all tied up together and as Liese said it’s not going to happen in a day!! LG...Read More...

Thanks for all the support everyone. I was able to sleep. I woke up A LOT, but no insomnia when I woke, so at least I think I managed to rack up some hours. In these cases, I really can't call T. Maybe if I had been all alone, with no other resources, and about to do something stupid, then I could do it...but I probably still would not. But, in this case, H was home playing video games, my sister (who I wouldn't talk to about this stuff anyway) was here. I had options...but just do not feel...Read More...

AG - So tough for me to be angry at anyone but myself still. I got really angry at my dad the other day for leaving me entirely out of a photo album he entitled "my life," despite a dozen pictures of my stepmom. Then, after about five minutes, I felt angry at myself for being petty and selfish for wanting to be in there. That is about the sustainability of my anger toward others right now. I suppose this too will change, and then, LOOK OUT EVERYONE!Read More...

JD, That is great!! So glad you were able to get pictures and they are grounding. Awesome!Read More...

Oh, yeah, he texted me once to say that my texting him was very OK. And then, when I texted him about my bad thoughts (too triggering to share here), he texted me back a few pages of his usual, reassuring me of the redemptive power of God's love for both me and him. I had already reassured him that I wasn't going to do anything stupid, so really, just hearing from him at all was much more than I expected.Read More...

Maybe get a separation. If you don't miss her, perhaps you two are better off apart. If you do miss her, this will help you develop feelings of love and longing for her again. Do you two make time for each other, like a weekly date night? (no kids, no phone calls, no distractions. Just you two).Read More...

I loved the fact that you had bought him that lamp. I know how much he means to you after the HELL you were going through. I did not realise I met my sweetP before you met your T - so just wanted to explain that without messing up your thread. I met sweetP by a self referral in June via my GP - did not know what I psychologist did really but knew my ex C was beginning to show signs of being out of her depth. Then i forgot about the referral request and just as the hell with the ex C was in...Read More...

Seablue, I'm glad that your T is back safely. I'm sorry you haven't had a chance to tell her what happened with the other T. HOpefully, you will be able to do that on Friday. Is there not any way that the child's mother can watch her and take some time off? Personally, I would just tell her you have a doctor's appointment and you need her to make other arrangements. It really should be on her to find back-up care, not you. That is just my humble opinion though. I hope that your session on...Read More...

Glad to hear that your session went well. My brain is failing me for words right now, but thanks so much for sharing your experience. (((((((((Kashley)))))))))))Read More...