Thisismycatface, Please don't worry about having taken the messages down. Your session is so similar to what i need to have the nerve to do soon, that when it was gone i wondered if i had imagined it was there. It is inspiration Thank you for sharing, CNCRead More...

((((MAYO)))) Sorry to hear about your Mom. Will be praying for her and you and your family.Read More...

Yaku, I am so happy to hear that you heard back from T.Read More...

thanks sadly. i really appreciate your kind wordsRead More...

T just sent another text where she finally said all the right things that I want to hear. So now I'm confused about what to feel. This thread is getting a bit long. I will start a new thread here: Sequel .Read More...

Just found out that my T is "95% sure" we'll be meeting on Tuesday night, not Monday night. Wish he could have this stuff figured out in advance, but he has to wait for other clients to get back to him. Feeling so triggered about having to wait two more days to see him. It's RIDICULOUS to feel this way. Managed to wait my way through some bad inclinations, but they're still not going away as of yet...kind of building on me and writing, distracting myself isn't working so far. I'm surrounded...Read More...

I often feel this way, MF. Its so frustrating when we can't access our feelings when we want to, but then when we don't want to access them, they seem to creep in and take over us...and of course that NEVER happens in therapy!Read More...

TN, He is a blessing. I am so touched by what he said to you that he's more worried you are going to leave him. Yes, I am doing Mondays and Thursdays like you. Glad you are still feeling good.Read More...

Thanks, paranoid. Whew. No, we have not talked to our old pastor since H called him for a referral over a year ago!Read More...

Room 2 grow- I like your fantasy version. (Except my T is a guy- so it might be weird)Read More...

You go DF!! A fresh start in a positive directionRead More...

Yaku I remember that lost feeling. I had a difficult time learning to listen to myself and figure out what I wanted and needed. But that is what therapy was all about. My T created a safe place I could play and explore in to figure out who I really was and want I really wanted. It's really an incredible feeling when you get there. AGRead More...

Yes, indeed!Read More...

BG - those boundaries are so important. I'm the only one who doesn't do financial entanglement stuff with my mother. Low and behold, I'm the only one with any sort of independence and credit score to speak of. It doesn't mean I won't be there for her. I've been helping her a lot with documents for a legal issue she's dealing with. But, I'm not going to do anything that jeopardizes my ability to care for my own family. It's a really hard line to draw, but essential!Read More...

The only pattern I really can see between T1 and T2 is that I have to pay both of them to take an interest in my life.Read More...

Incognito, I love your "all roads lead to Rome" analogy. I have felt that way quite a few times lately so much so that it was either I quit therapy or I approach a particular topic. When I was having the "you don't care about me" conversation, at one point I told T this story about when I was little. I used to play with this mean girl all the time. When I went to her house, she told me I could have a yodel or an apple and which one did I want. I kept saying, I don't care, I don't care. She...Read More...

No, but deleting is!! j/k do whatever ever works for you, BB.Read More...

Yes, exactly! #1 is constantly on my mind. #2 is what I call my "so what?" feelings. I have a jumble of things I want to talk to T about, to reveal "me" to him and be known and accepted and cared for. But #1 makes me feel those desires are unrealistic and #2 keeps me from being able to see any of the things I want to discuss as important enough to waste his time with. So, instead I waste both of our time and my money blanking out on him.Read More...

How lucky of you to have someone in your life who gives you such comfort with his words. I think that is something to treasure, revel in, enjoy--if you can. I know that when I start to feel positive feelings towards my T that I can have a hard time. It's funny how we can create rules that only apply to ourselves. I read this and think, well, of course it was okay for yakusoku to react the way she did. I understand that she had reasons to be upset, and I understand how it may feel...Read More...

(((((((((((((AG)))))))))))))) I'm sorry you are grieving, but also so inspired by how you are working through this transition that I know I will some day have to face.Read More...

My T just terminated therapy. This board has been a big help - just to read through all of the posts. His behavior felt incredibly cruel, demeaning, and punitive. It's so hard to understand that everyone leaves. I needed him to stay and he couldn't.Read More...

MH - so glad you didn't hit the delete button! This has been a great thread for me to read, and of course, so timely for me. I've learned that no matter how alone or lost I feel, there is always someone out there who understands cause they've been there too. Unfortunately, the only way I know that is by "talking" about it, which I rarely do - until this forum - so glad I've found it and everyone here!Read More...

Yes I am reaching out for support here, and finding it- thank you so much for the encouragement. It's really hard for me to do this. I love how your T reacts, pushing you and then getting animated when you make a connection. He sounds wonderful. I think I would like it if my T did that, however he is more laid back, which is fine too. I just wish he wouldn't "let me off the hook" as easily as he does, but I don't see what I can do about that. I'm sorry you are missing your T...when do you...Read More...

I still find it hard to be open about some things - I think we take a long time to really open up and some things will take a while no matter how good the T is. WE can only go at the pace we feel comfortable at and all that. I feel safe with my P but somethings are just so hard to say, so hard to have known, so hard to bring out of the dark in my mind and into the light of being seen and heard. I wish you luck with it all. My only way through is keep talking and being honest and feeling and...Read More...