incognito... that was a beautiful and amazing response by your T. This man really gets it and I feel secure that you are in good hands with him. I agree with Pan that you are really doing good work and making progress. I also like that he reminds you that you can contact him in between sessions. I know that good feeling you speak of and sometimes it lasts with me for a few days, sometimes a few hours, sometimes it's gone when I reach my car. But if it goes away too fast I reach out for my T...Read More...

This is hugely illuminating to me too, I feel so grateful to this forum, and for the helpful and insightful comments by TN and UV. Thanks UV - very good comments.I am amazed I am seeing this, and one of the most amazing bits is that I can remember how strong the 'vortex' is when it is operating, it sort of fills my mind and being and is all consuming. I am not in it now - part of seeing it seems to reduce it. I actually saw sweetP today as he had sweetly agreed to do a one off family session...Read More...

AG recommended that book to me- and I thought it was FANTASTIC! I gave it to my T to read, which he did, and he kept it. Ah well, glad he read it. It has lots of me in the margins though so I hope he does not lend it out. I write lots in the good books. There is one page in the book (AG knows it- I think in the 50s or 70s- not sure)that jumps out at me- about the power of the theray relationship. It begins... Those with hazy parental relationships...ah not even sure if that is correct. AG...Read More...

Incognito, I'm sorry that you are going through this. I feel very similarly to you right now. In fact just last Tues. during my session I sat there in silence and maybe said like 20 words (and none of them really made any sense). I go in to therapy feeling like a failure...like we've discussed all this before so what is the point. While you're words are worthless and loneliness, mine are pathetic and weak. The fact that I seem to not be able to verbalize anything when I go in some weeks just...Read More...

Hi again, I'm seeing my T in a few hours. I'll probably take along the pro/con list, and I've written a letter explaining some of how I'm feeling. Pan, it's encouraging to hear that telling your T your were terrified of him helped you to make progress in therapy. I didn't originally go to therapy for anxiety, but I'm developing a serious anxiety problem through the process of therapy. It feels very discouraging to be going backwards rather than forwards. (I originally went to therapy for...Read More...

I like sweetP too!Read More...

LG, I am so glad she got back to you and you are going to see her. I hope you are able to clear up any questions you may have on Thursday. Keep us posted. (((HUGS)))) LieseRead More...

So reassuring for ME that you write this Ingognito. I have just posted on my own blog yesterday or Monday all about the dynamics over me trying to reach my P by phone and him not responding and me living in anguish about rejection etc and yet remembering how sweet my P is and that if he knew I needed to hear his voice, he would have phoned. So round and round I went. We are going to discuss it all at my next session on Friday, so that I can find out, as I said to him on thephone yesterday...Read More...

Good luck, Mac!Read More...

I found that actually it did not take THAT long to feel like my P knew quite a lot about me, I thought before that it would take ages for him to know as much as my ex C knew in the 17 months I had worked for her, but we just leapt in and got on with it and I am about session 14 and he seems to be in much deeper than she ever went. It has helped me getting a whole new perspective, and being with a new person brought more stuff up too somehow.Read More...

thank you butterfly! that's life i guess, things never turn out as you plan / hope for, but its not all bad and I don't regret my decision (most of the time). i'll just see how i go from here and try and look after myself. yes, it's so unfair that unprofessional people like this are qualified and work in this profession and they sometimes do more damage than good. maybe her job was to put off a lot of people because they get a lot of calls? I think i disliked her attitude from the beginning...Read More...

nooooooooo totally not! I was happy to think that my reaction might actually be okay... despite the way my T is treating me. I mean cus i thought/and still think that i'm just weak and needy and childish. but i kinda think just based on attachment theory that this is right? i dont know!! My T definitely doesn’t think it is! well thats not explaining it well either but whateverRead More...

Hi Incognito, All I can say is that your last post was so emotionally vulnerable and beautiful and real to me that tears were streaming down my cheeks as I was reading it. I particularly related to your desire to connect with him and prevent it from burning him out. I too have been feeling that same way with my T. I have been seeing him twice a week lately. But often times I just wish I could touch base with him every day in some kind of small way. I'm overwhelmed by my need to be so near to...Read More...

Morgs I hope today's session was ok after that seemingly endless break for you. Also thoughts for you as the people in your country experience such dreadful floods, the devastation is so immense. Do let us know how it went today, starfishRead More...

TN So pleased to hear the ever steady, unfased reaction from newT. He sounds a really solid guy and is the very things yoou need at the moment - reliable and constant. The deeper connecting stuff will come in time, but after your dreadful disruption with your oldT, the greatest gift he has for you right now is consistency and a listening ear. I am really pleased starfishRead More...

So nice of you Liese to reply. I am doing okay and resting and walking and swimming and doing lots of yoga. I am well bonded to sweetP now, i feel I can tell him anything and that I can be all parts of me there and he is not only fine with that, he is gentle and caring. It makes all the difference. I find the gaps hard again but I can sort of feel his kindness in my head for nearly three days after a session so that is good. I find that I have a lot of memories and stuff coming up. much love...Read More...

HI Firefly, "I guess now I've learned that I've grown really dependent on her, which totally sucks. I don't know how to get close to someone without going overboard." Oh, gosh, Firefly, I could have written that myself. I've been seeing my T for 3 years, been denying the importance the relationship has had for me for most of it until recently, until I, too, realized how utterly dependent and attached I am. And, I still don't trust him. I need him but don't trust him. Explain that one to me.Read More...

My T does allow texts, phone calls to her cell, and emails, but she also can take a considerable amount of time to reply. Sometimes she replies within a few minutes. Other times it may be 7 hours later. She welcomes the texts and encourages me to send them to keep her updated on my crazy life so that we don't have to spend the entire next session going over all that has happened but can focus more on processing. I don't mind that she can take a long time to reply to a text. it can be...Read More...

LG, I'm so sorry about your friends. Take it easy on yourself. Welcome, Firefly. JRead More...

Well Jones! - what can anyone say? You're right - there are two people in this *relationship* with so many dynamics in play . However if, after talking this out in your head (cognitively) and no doubt busting your gut feeling it out heaps (emotionally) and sussing it our here in our community!!! you still feel it doesn't work for you - move on my friend (but leave a tiny door open, just in case ) Go gently with yourself ((Jones)) MorgsRead More...

Hi Russ... You've gotten some great feedback here and I don't have much to add except that I want to say BRAVO to you for standing up to your Dad and shaking things up a bit. And yes I imagine it feels way uncomfortable to do that but I think it was a really important step for you. As for those long buried feelings....I think I knew mine were there sort of behind a door that was bulging out but that had some strong locks on it. I started to let them out very very slowly. I started with oldT...Read More...

TN, For the same reason there are lousy auto mechanics and bad dentists and idiot doctors and jackass college professors who can't form a complete sentence. Just because you have a degree and a license it doesn't mean you have any business being in your business. Right, because this guy actually knows how to do therapy. I really don't think oldT did, and it wouldn't surprise me if oldT did have a breakdown. You may laugh at this idea, but that man may find himself in an even worse position...Read More...

DF- GOOD LUCK with your group therapy today!! (have you went allready? if so, how did it went?) I hope that seing the group again today, gave you the very needed support and help, so you can manage to hang in there and cope well another week before seing your T again... maybe the week doesnt seems so long anymore now? Hugs anyway..Read More...

I am being mindfully aware that I feel vulnerable.Read More...

Jones, I'm glad your appointment went well. I'm sorry to hear about the mix-up the day before. It happens, especially under stress! I hope you are enjoying your holiday and that your next session in January goes well.Read More...