HI Sheychen, Didn't get a chance to read the dialog but will later. Just wanted to tell you that I got the book and was really enjoying it until I misplaced it!!!Read More...

Oh Butterfly, I hear you. It should really come with a health warning. I think it was Sheychen's new T who told her, I only think it's fair to yell you that it's going to hurt, etc. etc. And I really think they should all do. Mine has told me at different points that people leave because it gets to painful but not in the same way Sheychen's T laid it out. Leaving is not an option for me because I need his support right now. So I have to find a way to deal with the pain. Butterfly, I'm barely...Read More...

Lampers... I remain beyond thrilled that you have found such a good and understanding and knowledgeable new T. I pray it continues to be that fulfilling and healing relationship that you have worked so hard and searched so long for. On a selfish note, I will very much miss your posts as you were very helpful to me during my crisis and some of your words were very healing to me. You really did understand what I was going through and I feel sort of a kindred spirit to you in our joint searches...Read More...

Hi Beebs... sorry for not getting back to this thread. It's certainly fine for you to take down your original post. You need to do what is most comfortable for you. I just want to say I'm glad that what I have posted has helped you to understand further some issues that you deal with. You are welcome to use anything from me in talking with your T or SD. I hope you are doing okay today. Remember, one day at a time. Hugs to you TNRead More...

thanks BB, I am resting. I am feeling so relieved that I told her, I have never done therapy with this bit disclosed. AND I like my new T. She is really nice. She is like me on a good day Also I am beginning to be able to remember and feel how my old ex C loved me, and that helps now instead of hurts.Read More...

Thanks, BB! It's nice to know I'm not the only one. My next session is Monday. I usually go on Wednesday but Thanksgiving threw off that schedule and right now I'm too scared to go nine days between sessions to get back to it. ~D.Read More...

I just wanted to say thank you so much for your response BB, I feel like I have things I want to say, but my mind is blank So thank you again, your response was perfect.Read More...

((((Frog)))) It doesn't sound like you set out to deliberately get drunk before you went to your session, although you may have sub-consciously wanted to test your T by the sound of things Be kind to yourself. There is nothing wrong with making an honest mistake like having a glass or two of wine on an empty stomach - it is easy to have more wine than you planned when you are feeling nervous.Read More...

Frog, I'm sorry that you struggle with SH and that you didn't feel like you had the response that you needed from your T. I see that you've worked that out a bit now. LL: I think it can vary between T's. Some see any compassion or sympathy regarding SH as a way of encouraging it and others go straight the reasons behind it like Mac's T. I have had issues with SH and I remember the first time that I told my T last December when I had done it again. It had been years since I'd done it and I...Read More...

LL, I am so happy for you that you found a wonderful T. Thankyou for sharing your journal about you and your T. I thought it was beautiful. It is just great that that the relationship is important between you both and that she knows that touch is a healing thing for you. I couldn't be more happier for you. You have worked and searched for such a long time and now have found it. Please keep us informed. (((((((LL)))))))Read More...

S- hope you`ll manage to bring up this dream with T-. Sorry your in a bad place..maybe telling the dream itself will ease the pain a bit? sharing stuff, happens to have a great revieling effect. And this dream seems to be important. Gonna answer your first question here, about boundaries... (oh- and i can imagine how diffiult it is to adjust to these new sets of firm boundaries..i think your wise to see the importance of them though and hopfully you`ll benefit from having these firm...Read More...

I agree, there should be a special realm in hell for those who open up your most vulnerable places, where you feel so little and needing and dependent and then they walk away. They feel fine. They leave you bleeding. It is so cruel. Thanks TN for being so understanding. I still think what your ex T did was abuse. He should be taken before a disciplinary tribunarel. Can't spell that. One day fairly soon I shall go in and see my doctor and tell his exactly how he assisted in making a bad...Read More...

TN, I'm sorry. I honestly think when you are in mourning the holidays are the worst. And you are in the midst of a very dark painful passage. I no you have no hope of ever entering the light again, but can you allow us to hope for you? ((((TN)))) AGRead More...

Aw, Russ...I kinda have to say, that it's nice to have a guy around on this site. For real. BeebsRead More...

you are such a sweetie, draggers...I just have to say that. I'm so glad you are home safe.Read More...

STRM, You are absolutely NOT allowed to apologize as you have done nothing wrong. I know what you're dealing with. And I'm glad you liked my birthday present. Hi Morgs, Thanks, the shimmer is hanging in there. And I am giving myself time, this thread really helped me to stop fighting and just let the feelings come. Not the most fun I've even had, but there's an underlying sense that I will be fine. Thanks for the encouragement. AGRead More...

LL, Happy that you're happy. You seemed to have handled the whole thing (psycho T) really well. Although, I don't know what you went through when you weren't posting. Maybe you suffered alone? Definitely so much easier to write about the bad things. At least for me ... But I'd love to hear about her when you decide you want to share with me. Is this your first woman T? How many men and how many women T's have you had? Do you tend to do better with women T's? Yes, there are stages of therapy.Read More...

Sorry, Liese, I don't really understand anything about separation, or what this means? Hopefully, someone else will weigh in who knows something about this scenario... Hope you are well today... Love, BBRead More...

Hi, Sheychen...wow I like the sound of steadyT...awesome. It strikes me that the caring that she is able to give will actually mean something because of the strong boundaries she has in place. I think from what you have written she sounds wonderful. It sound like the psychologist is good, too...is steady T ok with you seeing him as well as her? If steady T is ok with it, I'd go for it... Good that you are trying to find the way out of your last painful experience. Good for you! Be well, ...Read More...

I hope that rat will live up to the nameRead More...

Hi Guys, been away on a training week for teaching, so had a lot of nice times. Liese, look at the chapter on emotional pain, - it is really good. I had the book for years before I opened it! Lamplighter: I think I was more mature that the C was , in the final session. I made her a card and sincerely pointed out her strengths and kept it very clearly on the positives, and she was just " lets us say our goodbyes and end' - so I said, " no, we need to say the good stuff and I need to thank you...Read More...

Hey again, all. BB - Yes - I keep doubting that what I felt was really fear. Why would I feel fear? Did I make myself breathe fast and shake and cry? Logically, I know that's probably not the case, but it's hard to believe. I'm trying, and I'm trusting her more, especially that she'll accept all of my emotions. I'm still scared of some of them, but it's getting better. I am so aware of how many people on here are having really distressing problems with their Ts or with finding Ts, and it...Read More...

Hi Fly Sorry your message got stuck somewhere and you've had no input until now!! The breaks for most of us are difficult - my appts are usually 2 weekly so just manage and they're definitely harder for some than others coz we're all so different! I understand that being told of an upcoming break upsets you and I don't want to be provocative, but how would you feel if she didn't warn you before a break?? IDK but I think that would be worse Take care and let us know how you are. MorgsRead More...

Liese... repetition compulsion, enmeshment, re-enactments are all very psycho-dynamic issues and I don't think your T would be thinking in this direction, especially as they all relate to how we look at our past to see who we have become and why we think the way we do today. And even if he works with these issues, he may not name them as such because the average patient in therapy would have no idea what he was talking about. These are fairly advanced concepts in psychology. I think you...Read More...

Hi IM, I just wanted to say welcome to the forums and that I hope you can find the understanding and support you're looking for here. And I am so sorry about your friend who died. It's incredibly painful to lose a friend, and the circumstances have to make it even more painful. I commend your courage in defending her. I have struggled with suicidal thoughts on and off through my life and I agree with you that sometimes it can just be so dark and painful, that dying can feel like the only way...Read More...