thank you! you have all been so supportive, a bit overwhelming for me... but i am glad to meet every one of you!Read More...

Forlorn, that is such a nice gesture by your T. I am happy for you. I appreciate you sharing that as it is very heartwarming. KOIRead More...

Thanks (((((PG))))) (((((Draggers))))) and (((((Jill))))) I am feeling much better and much calmer....mlcRead More...

seablue, Sorry I'm a bit late in responding to your post re your successful session. Am so pleased that you were able to talkabout it and she could clarify things for you. And yes, I do believe you WILL know when is the right time to leave, it feels so unsettling now because it is NOT the right time. Our Ts have a duty of care to not keep us in therapy for longer than we need I guess, so the occassional reminder of 'life after therapy' is important BUT shouldn't be done in a way as to freak...Read More...

Jill, I didn't take it as an insult and I understood where you were coming from. I just wanted to add that for me that it has never felt that way, but I suppose had it been offered too soon then I would have felt like it was a "paid" gesture or been very suspicious of her motives for sure! I hope that you find what you are looking for in a T. That last T sounds like she was a mess!Read More...

Just a quick note to thank all of you on here for your support and kindness and encouragement. Thank you for listening to me go through this difficult time. I would be in way worse shape without all of you. My session tonight was worse than I could have imagined it would be. We barely spoke of the surgery and aside from some small talk everything that went on in there just made me feel sick. I tried to talk about attachment and why I felt that we were struggling lately. I showed him SG's...Read More...

I guess I figure the whole dynamic would be weird to her. This girl who loves her T like a mommy, but daydreams about kissing her. Yeah... So the dream I worried she would see as sick. BUT... I shared it with her. I printed it out and let her read it last session. We talked about it a little. Then I couldn't deal with discussing the daydream piece so we moved on. But I was very relieved she didn't appear grossed out. whew!Read More...

All I want to know is: how did you do that? I don't know if my T is giving me love. I seriously don't know if I can call this love. I don't know if I should feel loved by my T. I just can't reach there. I feel sometimes like he is pushing me to say something, something about love, but I really don't know. Once, long time ago, well few months ago I said to him, that I would like to be loved by him. He replied that he can't give me what I want, but he will be with me through this. He also...Read More...

smiley, i am late on this but i hope things are better. can you ask you t to talk for you? a time or two mine took me places and talked for me and it helped, and she was right on to what i was feeling. helped me get used to it, and not have to perform. just a thought, and breathe, my friend. i hear the panic, and the spiraling, been there. breathe, get outside, breathe. post here, breathe. you are going to be ok, my friend. it will get better, and i know how i hate hearing that myself, so,...Read More...

Hang in there DeepFried!!!Read More...

sorry- this was suddently a very old response.. I cant cope with the speed in here It was ment to one of the first message..Read More...

Just dropping in quickly in the middle of packing and cleaning...VL- I understand what you are saying, why would you put yourself through such a thing again...it is hard. But maybe the thing, is to reevaluate your reasons for being in therapy, and see if it still feels like something you need to do? If you can find a T who can make the process about you getting your needs (the ones the T can meet) met through therapy, than, I would say it is worth it, though it is still not "enough" to fill...Read More...

DeepFried Please feel free to write anytime here. My thought about your T is this.....If you are really feeling this much about it, maybe you should look at a T that is involved with your other people already. It seems to me that your t has a different road scheduled for you and your 2 t's are going head to head. Don't give up ok?Read More...

STRM, thanks for telling me the end of the story and I guess it worked out for you as I know you have children now. I will talk to my T about the guided imagery, I know he used it one time with my son who was afraid of having nightmares and he told him a really nice story about what he needs to think of and perhaps he can do the same for me. I have a small tape recorder I can use if he agrees to it. I'm glad the Xanax is helping you. It's so hard to give in and take the drugs. In my case,...Read More...

Hey BB, Boo to disappearing posts! I can't tell whether I'm here or not.... But I'm giving you a passing hug in either case - you know, the cabin door is unlocked, why don't y'all bundle in and keep the place warm for me while I flit in and out? xxxJRead More...

TN, I have nothing to add to the insightful responses you have already received. I just wanted to let you know I think what you did in that session was amazing and that I am sorry the ambivalent bug is biting now. I hate it when that happens. I do find it a bit interesting to see how I have done a similar thing as you. During a session with my ex-T that was not going well, I shared big secret. I've always been stumped at the reason for doing it but the explanation you gave for doing it with...Read More...

He also wanted to borrow my book- A General theory of Love by Lewis et al. I am thrilled! Great bookRead More...

I asked my T if it is common for all people to love their therapists (I was wondering if he loved his therapists - he had 3 of them over the years). He replied that some people just hate their therapists and he disliked most of them, except maybe for one guy who was kind of like a father figure to him. That's just to answer to you Russ, but I didn't really get a lot of information from himRead More...

Forlorn, I'm so sorry you had this childhood. I know the tenseness of which you speak so well. The only difference between your description of your mom is that for me it was my dad. I remember frequently hiding under my bed when he got home from work, not coming out until I could determine by listening whether he was in a bad mood or not. I never knew what I would be in trouble for or how I would displease him next, nor how to prevent it. So yeah, I guess I transfer that fear or expectation...Read More...

Hi, I just wanted to second what MTF said. It's great that you had such a good session with your T. I hope that you continue to have many more positive sessions! It is always nice when we can see the progress.Read More...

UV thanks so much for explaining that, and I'm sorry I got myself all worked up about it. Hope you are still feeling great :hug: LLRead More...

PS- you didn't seem in the least churlish...I was very glad that you were posting and saying everything that was on your mind and hope you will continue to do that...as you want to, of course...thanks for the kind thoughts.Read More...

Smiley (I just love that name) That is so true. Early on when we were just getting to know each other, I told him that I thought he was arogant at times. He said nothing. Several months later I was describing a feeling I had about him- I couldn't find the right word that described my perception of him, and he filled in the word arrogant,- to which I quickly responded- not at all. My T is very good at what he does, but he is a bit arrogant at times- but then again- sometimes swimming laps,...Read More...

Shit... you can't answer to more then just one topic at once... my post got deleted before it was posted.... aaaahhhhh!!!Read More...

That is great!! I hope the interim period passes quickly!Read More...