HB... I'm so sorry that I have been missing in action lately. I know that you are going through a rough patch and I have not been here to support you. I just wanted to say that I think you are handling things in your usual graceful and classy way. The story you wrote touched me deeply because I understand so well your journey as it mirrors mine in many ways. I wanted to ask you how you knew all those things about me. I think, though, that it was your description of meeting that "stranger"...Read More...

Wow, Halo - this is fantastic to read! You were so strong with saying all the things you needed to say. It sounds like the whole session was an incredible release. I love that you are working towards closure on the issues with this relationship, while also taking care of yourself by working with a new P. Way to go. JRead More...

Amazon, Before I start, let me say that my T is a female, I have never had a male T - don't think there ever was/is a time that I would feel safe. So, I have never experienced the "being in love with my T", but I do love my T and want her to be the one to nurture me and help me grow. Okay... Being more outspoken is a good thing! One thing that I would like to comment on is this... I donot believe it is a T's intention for us to become dependent upon them, but I do believe that they know it...Read More...

Guys, off topic question.. Which is correct? "transference object" or "object of transference" ThanksRead More...

Hey Amazon! Sorry to hear about your rough session... it always is challenging to have a rough session after an amazing one! [QUOTE]Originally posted by Amazon: As for writing things down - we've been there. I wrote a lot. I gave him some 30 pages already (I think) and have another notebook full. First time I handed him some notes, I didn't want him to read them in front of me, so he read them after the session. Next session he asked if we can go back and read them. There's no way I would. I...Read More...

Yup, I've got this one too. Chocolate chip ice cream with malt powder is my #1 comfort food, followed by anything crispy and salty (chips, popcorn, french fries). My weight has yo-yo'd up and down by 40 pounds since my second daughter was born 6 years ago. I have the most success with Weight Watcher's points program and have managed to keep most the weight off...at least the top 20lbs...but I definitely eat from an emotional place. I haven't lost weight as a result of therapy except the...Read More...

SG, I think your story could be anybody else's story as well. Things didn't work out, but if it was any of us in your shoes, it probably would go the same. I also fear termaination, I can't imagine I would have to leave now or anytime. However I think that we are all like children with Them, and a child can't bear the thought of not being with the parent anymore. People who have good parents don't stop loving them when they grow up, but they are ready to leave, be away from their parents. I...Read More...

I really admire the fact that you went through the steps of recovering alcoholic. I wish my father could do that, but alcohol is too important for him. He probably will never give it up. His father was also alcoholic, somebody before him probably as well. My sister is not in therapy but she would like to do something about her low self-esteem and lack of confidence. These would be her main issues.Read More...

Sorry River for taking over your topic a bit, but it just raised some questions in my head, maybe if I can get them answered I will have some courage to tell things to my T. I did tell my T that I love him, but before I did it I explained things to myself and understood that he doesn't love me and I can't expect that he would, and I made myself believe that I don't need that as long as I can love him, see him, and be able to tell him about my feelings. I don't know if it works that way.Read More...

Thanks, AG! I hadn't thought of this as a sign of my healing at all, but it is very encouraging to hear you say that, especially because it brings to mind other posts of yours where you've described short times of feeling clearer coming more often and staying longer. That gives me a lot of hope. Thank you! SGRead More...

MH That's awesome that you took such a risk and showed that letter to your T. I know how scary that can be and it was very courageous of you to give it to her. I'm even happier that your T reacted so well and that you were able to find out that your perceptions were wrong. This kind of disruption and repair are a really important part of the healing that happens in therapy. You should be really proud of yourself. AGRead More...

Thanks, MH! And I didn't think there was anything wrong with what you said about interacting with a particular gender. That's been on my mind a lot anyway so I wanted to discuss it and I'm glad you brought it up. I hope your session goes well today! SGRead More...

Hi Russ, Thanks for your post, that was really cool. It's really interesting to think of that rubber fog as a resistance thing - I hadn't considered that at all. It's hard to imagine that I am in control of that, though I know subconsciously I must be. Yes, I totally want to figure it all out! You should see me on the internet, looking up things that might have been mentioned or implied... actually, that's how I ended up on this message board. I guess I'm scared if I don't keep a few steps...Read More...

Hi Curious. I have to agree with Russ. I'm having the opposite feelings to you at the moment, I just can't cry really. So when I actually do it's a huge relief, it feels good. But at the moment I can't and I don't know why. So I guess things are different for everyone but right now I'm envious of your uncontrollable crying! Sorry that I don't have something more constructive to say. Take care! Mrs. PRead More...

Hello Hal, and welcome. I had a similar experience with my T being insensitive about something. (thought I had let it go) Then a few more small things happened; I let those go too. These little things began to erode the relationship, and he picked up on it. With rejection being my huge weakness, I was afraid to be honest. When we finally talked, and I was able to share all of it, he sincerely apologized, and our relationship became stronger- much stronger. This may not be your situation at...Read More...

Hi Summer, Couldn't have said it better myself. This forum is full of people who are so insightful and the help given to people who are struggling with their therapy is so valuable. What a fantastic way to think about this experience. I keep telling myself that to go back to my exT would be such a waste of energy, emotion and money. I have spent thousands too and it has been more damaging than therapeutic. Thanks Summer.Read More...

Hi Mrs Prufrock, Thanks so much for the welcome. Yeah, a brain-holiday would be really nice! Often when I'm doing lots of anxious-thinking (and thinking about the thinking, and thinking about the thinking about the thinking) I can't see where it's coming from. Maybe learning more about the feelings will help. I also find I can interrupt it with exercise, dancing (my passion!) and sometimes other stuff. Can't always do this, but sometimes.... hope you get comfy with the therapist soon. JRead More...

Hi Mrs. P, TYVM for your welcome here and for your kind words! I sincerly believe that all who frequent these forums all have strength and courage & that everyone's stories are an inspiration to all concerned! Ty so much for you're condolences!Read More...

Hi sarah what a small world. I wonder if we had a same counsellor. I see you in here, and my counsellor gave me the other web site address and I saw you there too. Or you could be another Sarah brown. Are you still going to e-expert site? I didn't post there much because I thought my counsellor was trying to mess up my head. I know, I know I am pretty obssesed with him and paranoid and distorted... well, you don't know me but I thought you were the same Sarah brown from e-expert. never mind~ :PRead More...

You've got a great attitude and a strong heart, morningglory. Thank you for reminding me of something I often forget, that I can be proactive instead of reactive. This is something I really need to work on. It's a pleasure to have met you on this board. SGRead More...

Hi curious, That is so cool that your T made a "pact" with you. And for what it's worth, I do not think it is stupid to say "I miss you and need to hear your voice." AG has posted about calling her T numerous times for reassurance much like this. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Whether you call or not, the most important thing to do is talk to your T about it when she gets back. Be gentle with yourself, okay? SGRead More...

Hello everyone, I just wanted to post here to say "thank you" to everyone for the condolences on my Grama. This year has been a hard one for deaths in the family - first my FIL in May, then my Grampa in June, and now my Grama (his wife, not a different Grama). And my Grama on my dad's side and my Grampa's sister are not in good health, either. A whole generation seems to be disappearing in a short amount of time, and it is sad, and disorienting. So thank you for thinking of me. SGRead More...

Hey I know... If he just told me his mom passed away... He didn't have to tell me that his mom killed herself. That really traumatized me and triggered me big time. I already have a good P. I've known her for 6 years. The thing is...I don't really want to bring this topics to her. I guess I am not really ready to... I don't know, I guess I am still greiving. I've noticed that when I am going through pains, I keep them inside me for a long time, try to ignore it or thinking that it will go...Read More...

My advice to you... always trust your instinct. If you feel something is fishy, then probably something's going on. My counsellor's intention was to treat me as a test subject becuase he was doing his practicum and writing thesis at the same time. I was so naive... Stop wondering about what your T is thinking or will react. If you don't feel right with your T, just ditch him. There are plenty of T's who are professional and actually can help you.Read More...