Hi Robin, Massage therapy sounds a lot better than regular therapy. I really hope it helps with your headaches. I've only had a massage a few times, but I must say, you really do feel wonderful afterwards. AGRead More...

Thank you guys for thinking of me This week has been really rough, but I'm doing better. I saw my T this morning and talked about how angry I was at him and frustrated with how hard he was on me Monday. I told him I'd been thinking about this lolcat - and changing the caption to: "Don't u 'nice therapist' me - u no longer hab a nice therapist" He asked if I was talking about him no longer being a nice therapist or me no longer being a nice patient. Heh, I told him it worked both ways I...Read More...

I think that too, that is, it is mighty powerful! yet sometimes I wonder if we are going to figure when to stop. And it's migihty expensive. And we're broke. Why doesn't insurance or anything pay for it when it's essential for some us? Like we have a dx and all but noone will still pay for it. SamyRead More...

Hi MLC, i feel the same way sometimes too, though probably not as much as I used to. It's really unnerving, feeling yourself go from a high-functioning adult to a scared little child as soon as you sit in your T's office... that's how it was for me. And I got angry with myself for feeling so childish around her. I felt pathetic. It's a good idea to talk to your T about it. Maybe you could write about it too, and take it just in case you can't find the words while you're there? WAI - i love...Read More...

Hey Jo I had same experience. When I called crisis line. They were busy. I got a voice mail. I thought it was really ridiculous. No offence. I guess they are short of volunteers or there are too many ppl who need to talk to someone. That’s the last time I used crisis line. I felt like another rejection and felt really ridiculous about hearing voice mail. How irony that was… I just laugh about it now… but at the same time it’s very sad thing…Read More...

WTG Heather! Good for you for taking control and standing your ground! I'm glad to hear that your T saw your side of it and validated what you were saying! HollyRead More...

Thank You so much AG and whereamI for your thoughts and advice--I am definitely going to get that book on attachment!! mlcRead More...

LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT! Catgirl, you are one talented woman. Thank you for sharing this with us, it is a gift to us all xxRead More...

Samy, I have to agree with everyone, I think its wonderful you're T told you that. You deserve someone to show you what love really looks like and how someone who loves you really behaves. And there's a strange thing about love. It's the only irresistible force in the universe. You can defend yourself against everything else but not love. You don't need to when its the real thing. Which can be a tough lesson to learn; I know it was really hard for me to trust my T and allow him to get closer...Read More...

Hi HBShadow, I have a REALLY incredible T. He has 30 years of experience and a very deep understanding of attachment issues. He completely understands why I would need to contact him and considers it necessary to my healing that I learn to do so. I went through almost a year and a half of him telling me I could call or email at the end of every session, phone call and email. I once thanked him for not having a personal life, but he assured me that he was really comfortable setting any...Read More...

Wow - very wise words and good insight. I never would have thought about it like that. I will have to keep reminding myself of that. It is just so discouraging sometimes - I don't even trust her enough to take my coat off after a year and a half - I need it for protection - but in the summer it is so freakin! hot that I just melt into a puddle when I'm there. Thanks so very much for your responses.Read More...

Hey guys! I posted it, I posted it, I posted it!!!!!! Yay yay yay!!!!!!!! It's under the other "Are You My Mother," and it's a photo gallery. You can read it and make comments if you click on "comments." Please let me know whacha think, K? MeowRead More...

It used to be that I was sure that any feelings I thought I had were "wrong" in the sense that I couldn't know what they were, so if I told anyone, they would correct me. In this way, I had a terrible time talking about my feelings because I was so sure I'd be wrong. Not wrong as in bad, but wrong as if I told someone that the value of PI is 4. For me, it just took a lot of time, and small steps. I tell my P about something I was feeling, and he reacted positively, and so I felt encouraged...Read More...

wow......you guys are so responzive and supportive. thank you all. I kind of really fucked up with my T. now. I am a total idiot. I was drunk the other night and text my T. asking if he will ever answer my email because I sent him an email like...5 days ago. he then emailed me back saying he was going too that night? I then text him about 6 more times saying how i felt. the texts were readable but just...i was drunk and i was being stupid and i am such an idiot!!!! so then he left me a...Read More...

Hi Jo, Mic and HB. So nice to know I am not the only one who has plotted violence against others. Before therapy I was convinced I was an evil person. I am learning my thoughts of violence was all about survival. When my sister and I were younger we use to plot ways to kill my dad. We suffered mightily at his hands. He has been dead for nearly 11 years and I still thank God he is gone. How sad to have lived a life such as his and to leave a wife and three kids behind who did not grieve his...Read More...

just my fast thought here.. sometimes younger is good for fresh new perspective.. eager and energetic.. non burnt out... i say that b/c i ran into the same issue.. was so used to my older wiser T... ended up witn somehome my age.. didnt think i could handle that... she was one of the best therapist i ever had and because of her fresh perspectives, she was very perceptive and caught onto stuff my pld T never did... and i honestly think it's because my older T is used to the routine and while...Read More...

Hi again, TN... yes, I hear you with both the pos + neg things learned/developed over the years. You note the negatives so easily and why wouldn't you?....you are struggling under them fighting toward change while your T has the position of sitting across from you, not experiencing all of your felt pain, and can easily see your strengths. I'm glad you have an insightful and encouraging T. Sometimes I have thought that the self I created and developed to protect my most vulnerable and young...Read More...

thank you all for your support and i wish the same for you all as well saw my therapist today and just felt very numb. I care alot but I have a terrible time connecting my feelings and emotions outside of the global ones of sadness, depression, anger.... so now she says im repressing them! Oh freud never dies does he! I do know what she means though however i feel like there is a HUGE steel barrier between my emotitional mind and my intellectual mind... and whatever minds that exist out...Read More...

Orrrr Not.. thanks for the warm welcome back how are you long time no see nevermindRead More...

Hi Karie; LOL, that's funny you said that because I was just thinkin the same thing the otherday as I was about to write 'eh' in a message. Like CG said; It's true I've been reading and thinking about whats going on with you, and wishing for everything to work out well for you. I just haven't known what to say It sounds like you are prepared for your move and though it's going to be hard to start over somewhere else, you'll do it! You sound like a very resilient woman and you will succeed Be...Read More...

I have to really wonder about this kind of approach to therapy. If we are attachment injured, which we are!, then healing comes in an experience dependent way. If you feel you need to be comforted, then you do!.....who knows better about what you need than you??.....if these therapists would move out of there own fear and follow the lead of the client, then maybe change would really start to happen. It has been healing for me to have a therapist move over and sit beside me and wrap her arms...Read More...

Thanks you two! I am relieved to have not gone to pieces. In the piece that I made him, it said, "Thanks for helping me save myself..." and in Spanish, "I will fly with your faith in my heart." I agree with you -- and I think that is what drives a therapist to be the best listener they can be during the hour. They want us to heal ourselves. That said, I know that having BPD means constant vigilance on my part to see the world with eyes in the present...a difficult challenge, sometimes on an...Read More...

Hi Hope, I just wanted to pop in to say "HI" and welcome you to the forum. Glad to hear that you found someone you feel you can connect with! That's all we want .. right!? HollyRead More...

Hi just orange, I agree with QG about the trust. How on earth can she expect you to trust her after 5 sessions!? It took me a very long time to trust my T too. Probably 18 months for complete trust. And that's not her fault, it's just a process. There's a balance between letting someone in and protecting yourself, and a T needs to work WITH you to earn your trust. You can go in there and talk to her about things you wouldn't tell anyone else but that still doesn't mean you trust her...Read More...

HI Linus .. I mean AG Did you just insinuate that I'm NUTS!!!!! ????? Cuz you could be in for a mouthful there girl! tsk tsk tsk Did this need a disclaimer attached? LOL I hope not Hmmm, incase you didn't get it ... Linus is the kid that drags his blankie around with him in Charlie Brown. Keep SMILING!! HollyRead More...