Lovefest. LOL! I can't help myself River, but when I read this I see myself jumping and rolling around in one of those inflated airwalk/moonwalk bouncy thingies(pardon the technical terms) You know how you just sink right into it and it is so soft and cushiony? Minus the dozen or so screaming, laughing children of course.It's mine, it's all mine. (hehehehehe)Read More...

River, I posted an thread on today's session under the title "Update on today's session". The short answer is that it was better than Wednesday night because I was able to express myself and what I think I need.Read More...

Incognito, I'm glad to hear this session went better. I read your other post and have been hoping this session would turn out better for you. I am impressed that you expressed your needs to your T and were able to have a conversation about it. Getting things out in the open can be very hard. I'm with AG, I think you being able to express your needs was far more important than the answers you got. OWRead More...

OW, One of the reasons I love my T so much is for the work he's done with my husband and myself. When we started couples counseling I really thought it was over, but I wanted to know I did everything I could. There was actually a point that I looked at my T and asked him if he really thought we had a chance at making it. (My husband had to bow out at the last minute because of work, so I went to the session alone). He actually stopped and thought about it and then said "yes, yes I do." I...Read More...

That's exactly it!! There really is a sense that I've gone from not getting a whole lot of stuff, to understanding it, taking it in and making it a part of me. And a big part of that is realizing that in very significant ways my connection to my T has become strong enough that I carry him with me wherever I go. I can sometimes have conversations with him in my head about issues I'm dealing with. (I know, you're just jealous the voices don't talk to you. ) I think of it as my virtual T. In...Read More...

Samy, I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. And I know how hard you've been working on your temper so it must have been hard to get so upset and bite your therapist (although, wow, do I know how you feel. My therapist has a statue of dolphins that sits on a table that sits between us and I've often thought of throwing it at his head when he's really driving me nuts. Usually when he's staying too calm for my taste, go figure!) But try not to be too hard on yourself, we never change all...Read More...

Robin, I'm sorry, I so understand your frustration and being tired of the situation. The truth is, that's its NOT fair that you are always the one to repair (or even be aware of) the breeches. And I know its hard sometimes to know where to draw the line and say enough is enough. But you've been more than patient from where I'm sitting. And fwiw, I'd rather hang out with you than your sister. AGRead More...

Thank-you so much JM for sharing so deeply. It takes a lot of courage to face ourselves, to be truly honest. And, equally so, to risk sharing it with others. And, as True North said, this post will be an inspiration to others. ShrinkladyRead More...

Incognito, I know that you're feelings of humliation are real but you have nothing to be ashamed of. Your neediness is natural and healthy. The problem isn't your needs, the problem was your caretakers failing to meet your needs. That's what drives most of us to therapy. I was talking to my T once in session about how needy I was, and how pathetic that made me feel. And he said it was like someone turning off the heat in the house and getting upset with you becuase you were cold, or not...Read More...

(((((((Samy)))))))Read More...

JM, I think I can remove the "not sure why" part of the post title. I've been to this place so many times but I fight so hard each time to not notice where I am. And you're right that I have the help I need to handle it, both here and with my T. Thank you for the encouragement and the reminder of what's true in the present. Wynne, As always, you go pithily straight to the heart of the matter. Feeling powerless and wanting to hide because the bad things can't get you there. Tuesday should be...Read More...

Wynne Isn't it a wonderful feeling when thing in therapy go well, and you get that "hey..wow, whoa" feeling. Somehow it makes it all worth while for a couple of days. Happy for you that it went well. KatsRead More...

Hi Samy, I'm glad that you speak up and I won't get mad at you for that. But I guess I thought I was trying to be encouraging. I think that she is pretty amazing that she works so hard to accomplish all that she does and I know it can't be easy on any of you guys. I was just appealing to her sense of stress, that is she thinks it is too much that she needs to listen to herself. However, I admire anyone who works so hard and goes to school and cares for their family. It is not an easy task...Read More...

ok maybe this is not a boundary thing. i atuali not read all you guys worte (cuz you talk a lot HAHA! i'm teasing ok). last night I were talking to me T and whether or not people likes me. she say she do. but i told her she HAS to cuz we pay her to. but her say we pay her for her time but not to like me. that were interesting to say huh. i gotta think more on it. her has clear boundaries and they suck! HAHA! cuz like her won't come home with me like i ask her to and stuff samyRead More...

incognito, This sounds like a really awesome session. And It sounds like 'starting over again', but I remember AG posting something about an onion and layers and going deeper and it sounds like you're really working through that. So I bet you're right when you say you'll get to keep coming back to it! I hope the 'backlash' is manageable. Sounds like you did a really awesome thing and had a great session as a result!Read More...

Ok, i don't actually get why you people here are so nice to me. i mean, if you knewed all the stuff i'd done in my life you might be very surprised and probably hate me. I still tryin to figure it all out. samyRead More...

River, that's exactly what I meant about going underneath all the layers that have built up over my emotions. I never just "feel" my feelings which is why this felt so different. I'm hoping its the beginning of permanent change. Incognito, The shortest distance between two points, is me getting angry and believing the relationship is over. The only time I've ever seen my T get in shouting distance of being frustrated was over this very issue. My keeping one foot out the door, so to speak.Read More...

My journal doesn't talk back and give me more insight into what's going on. I actually find that I've been journaling less since I started coming here on a regualr basis. I've almost been pushing myself to do so, because I find it very valuable to be able to go back and read over my journal and see patterns and cycles, and on really good days, areas of improvement. But the main reason I think its easier here is having people who REALLY understand. Sometimes, the stuff I have to deal with in...Read More...

sometimes i close me eyes and feel the rainbow energy around me. sometimes i close me eyes and feel the butterfly angels flying by. sometimes i think 'wow! good job samy' sometimes i think 'people do like me!' sometimes, not all the time. samyRead More...

samy hi. i don't know alot about you guys, but i do know that you are a really nice person to talk to on here. so, don't believe what the other guy is saying about you, cause it's not true. you're a very important and valuable person!!! so, just remember that when things get hard. hang in there. this too shall pass.(by the way, i don't like doing the dishes either!!)Read More...

Wynne, That lyric describes it perfectly! I have had sessions with my T where his attunement, understanding and acceptance are so clear, that I feel as if I am being "held with words." There is actually a sensation of the security of a physical embrace although he never actually touches me. It really is amazing. AGRead More...

Thanks for your comments. I learn so much from the posts on this board. I'm trying to live with the frustration of not getting my T yesterday and this forum is an essential resource for that.Read More...

awww. thanks alot jm. it really does help to feel understood.Read More...

Samy, I think that's awesome that you were able to work out that miscommunication on your own and with no names. I'm still working on that one, and I know how hard it is for me, so my hat's off to you. AGRead More...

Hi River, Yeah, I have had a T admit to being stumped. There was a time when I was working with my first T where we hit really bad resistance in working through my trauma. We hit a brick wall and couldn't figure out a way around it or through it. She consulted with a colleage about me and got some ideas for how to deal with it. We worked our way through it. I know it must feel very discouraging to have your T admit to being stumped but I'm glad he is. What would be a lot worse would be him...Read More...