thanks samyRead More...

samy- i dont like ants either but if someone did that to me, I would reallly realllly hate them!!! Hope you can send the ants somewhere else real soonRead More...

LOL... is it Samy that says that? lolol.... yeh, its like You KNow so why torture me with naming it? does it REALLY matter? lolol.... I did talk to the therapist yesterday..... we finally figured it out.. i got triggerd by invalidation issues.... my big time favorite trigger that sends me over the edge...Read More...

it's too soon however their are things I like about it... still not great with the whole 'acceptance of pain' with how it is... ... living and dealing with the present mind of pain, feelings and emotuoions isnt my cup of tea.... lol... gee wonder why.... so time will tell but im trying... .I do like some of the themes so far in terms of being accepting of what you feel and mindful of it all as well as realizing that what youyr brain says isnt something you have to react too.... its what it...Read More...

Thanks JM, I'm actually doing a little better, down to 5 days! Not like I'm counting or anything. And please, 2 years, you're short term! I've been off and on for the last 17 years (I did take some breaks). And I relate to the business card, my T actually uses his business card for appointment cards, so I get one each session. I have one in my wallet, one on my desk at work and one as a bookmark. Embarrassing, but true! And as for the perfectly normal, you should probably consider the source. AGRead More...

Samy, Sorry I didn't see this sooner! I don't really believe in curses except ones cast by people who have firmly aligned themselves with evil. And I believe they are powerless before God. I certainly don't believe that we can accidentally cause a curse without intending to. Some things just happen or happen for a purpose we're not capable of seeing. Maybe he fell off the roof because if he had left he would have died in a car accident on the way home so the fall saved his life. Not being...Read More...

Thanks for the support... welcome to the forumn Ellison! Nice to see a 'new face' posting... ScottRead More...

Scott - WOW! That post was so incredible, informative and touched on many of the points I have had to learn to deal with. Someone told me I should be very selective with whom I confide in. While that is very sound advice, at times you may think the person you have confided in later comes back to bite you. Once burnt, I have now learned to more cautious with whom I even mention it to. While I agree that telling your employer or co-workers, I have been fortunate to have an employer that has...Read More...

Robin, That is awesome that you didn't S/I. I'm glad you're dad got it too. The scrapbook sounds like an awesome idea. Its strange how its so easy for us to cut other people slack and be understanding but how tough it is to do for ourselves. We need to learn to as gentle with ourselves. AGRead More...

kewl, I will check it outRead More...

Hello BW: So glad to hear that you have been able to bring closure to things with Adrine! Wish there was something that I could do to ease the "pain" and associated frustrations related to your flare ups. I can only have imaginings about how difficult things must be for you. I am hopeful that a successful appeal will afford you the care that you so deserve!!Read More...

Samy, You kinda stumped me on that one! Because there are people I would probably call evil based on their actions. But I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that you haven't come close to voluntarily doing the kinds of things the abusive uncle did. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that we do need to judge other people's behavior's to keep ourselves safe but it should be done as gently as possible. All that said, tracking how you're doing is good if you're using to improve but not so...Read More...

Sarah, Thanks for being so encouraging! And I'm glad that you shared some of your experience, I think being able to hear other people's experiences and being understood are really important and can be incredibly healing. And the "Hurray" came through loud and clear. Thanks! I had a session today with my T and we talked about the whole episode. It was one of those really nice "hey, look how far we've come" sessions. It was nice to skip the whole gut-wrenchingly painful thing for a change. AGRead More...

Robin, Sorry to hear about your sick 5 year old, they still get such bad fevers at that age. I hope they feel better soon! You're really having quite the good time lately aren't you? A scrapebook page would be fine, use it any way you would like. I really just write the poetry when I can't find another way to express something I'm feeling and I'm honored you would want to use it. AGRead More...

Sarah, Thank you so much. I do know I'll see her again some day, its just getting through the intervening time. And it was bittersweet. I am so proud of the man that Tim has begun and it is incredibly important and comforting that I am so important to him also. But don't think your sadness is insignificant or trivial. Important attachments affect us deeply and I certainly think your relationship with your T is as significant as my friendship. But I am glad if it helps you to see a way...Read More...

A benzodiazepine is a medication for anxiety for example ativan/lorazepam, diazepam/valium and zanax.....and one can experience serious withdrawl symptoms if it is not weaned properly...Read More...

Shrinklady: Absolutely! Yes, that sure fits, and I take complete responsibility/ownership of that. However, I had no idea that my actions would have impacted her so deeply - my misperception/fear had me believing that somehow I never mattered. (Boy oh boy things can sure get distorted when anxiety takes over!!) Perhaps her reaction was an indication of how much I did matter? Nonetheless, she was completely aware of this insecurity in me and rather than talk it through it seems that she...Read More...

Glad to hear its been helpful! Do keep us posted if you hear back.Read More...

Samy, Sorry, I don't know anything about it, but hopefully someone will be able to point you in the right direction to learn about it. AGRead More...

HA HA! i didn't know it wer so good a question! me T said it's a headscratcher for sure. We gunna read that article later. samyRead More...

Thanks... i got a lot to figure out. I'm sure someof it won't make much sense to 'singletons' (i.e. people who aren't multiple like we are) ScottRead More...

The children's festival was great fun. We even went to the Van. Museum for a show on paleontology (sp?) you know... dinosaurs and fossils. And everyone got to go keep a fossil (rock collecting is one of my hobbies so i was thrilled!) Firstly... friday I met my folks for lunch with my sister in tow SURPRISE! all the way from northern BC! Sat. - children's festival, bbq dinner at my folks (we wanted to order in cinese but my snotty sister over-ruled that one). Sunday - bbq with all the inlaws!Read More...

lol.... could be faulty reasoning though.... LOL... Im just doing my usual way of coping.. avoidance and submerssion... lol..... I feel somewhat better when I ignore and not think too much.... I had a dream last night abotu Holly... my old therapist I liked a lot.. it was really kinda amusing and weird. I think its cause I was thinking of some things she would tell me in therapy in terms of dealing with various challenges and than i fell asleep so it got in my dreams... ha..Read More...