Catalyst, Thanks! That is encouraging to know. I am glad it so helpful for you. Maybe this work will help me too. Hoping healing is possible, LostRead More...

Yes you hit it right on the head, Thank you. I guess I get to antithetical always trying to figure everyone and everything out. So yes you answered my question.Read More...

Smilingpenguin, Thank you. I hope I can have courage to tell T her kind listening is hard and makes me cry. This is a great idea too - I agree! Draggers, I have read articles of many deaf people who get treated badly. I have had people tell me they surprised I can read. But this security guard, he did not know I was deaf, just think I hear when I did not. I will try to find Janedoes posts. It was not at ER but just an office building with doctor offices and financial offices but still scary.Read More...

Hello. Thanks for your answers’ I have seen my T, I was hurt and angry but like always I did not say anything, and he acted like he did not see my mail, he does that, if he does not reply he act like he did not read it, but few times he told me he read it but could not reply, I am ok with that. I know T is human like you and me and they make mistakes and forget. it 10 days from this untill next sessions little bit long but ok, I did ask him if I could e-mail him before my next exam wich is...Read More...

So proud of you and glad it went well!Read More...

AH the only way I've found to reduce fear is to face it over and over. I'm fine with doing that with fears of heights or scary places. I'm a chicken when it comes to emotions so take my advice with a grain of salt. Can you practice walking there in the evening when you know he won't be there. Just going on that road and by his office will start to show you that you can do it. You will not let him have that much control in your life. JillannRead More...

Nannabee and FMW: I apologize for the delay in replying. Nannabee: He actually brought up a contract...I kindly told him I did not think I could do therapy if it was governed by a contract. He agreed with me saying, "That is why I have held off with going through with a contract." I think if I had to sign a contract, I would quit. Just the thought of it scares me so much. At least he heard me on it and didn't force it. I am sorry you had such a difficult experience with a former T. I hope...Read More...

It does make sense. I think a letter is a great idea. I wrote a letter to mine and I didn't expect a response but she did respond, short and sweet. Those therapeutic relationships that touch our hearts do remain with us and are carried within us. I relate to what you say so much. I too, also struggled with forming other therapeutic relationships and I am realising as you have that I have to be present with the here and now. It is an amazing experience to have and I am glad I am no alone in...Read More...

I can to relate to many of the things you've mention. Time is really a big factor as I'm sure you probably know. Having a therapist that is attuned and aware when you dissociate does help. It makes you feel you're not going it alone. It sounds like you're on the right track and you'll find your way through this eventually. For me, feeling safe was a done deal. Gradually take little risk by sharing something and feeling and experience that it was safe.Read More...

I have worked a lot with ins companies due to my profession - altho primarily with the medical aspect. Request any and all info about how they would not offer continuation of coverage and the info you would need to support coverage. Get details and get them in writing. Your T may also have to play around with diagnosis' to find out which one of yours would provide the best coverage. Ins co HATE paying out particularly for trauma due to extended lengths of treatment and they will look at any...Read More...

Liese, I'm glad that talking to your T has helped ease your separation anxiety. I am glad there is someone else who has a similar cancel/don't cancel cycle with their T. My T also always says I will leave the session open for you (unless I tell him I'm cancelling because I have a conflict). If I'm upset he says I'll leave it open and so far I've always gone. I've also told him I hate when you leave it open because then I have to keep thinking about it. I went through it again today.Read More...

This thread makes me feel better. I hate when asked, "How can I help you?" Especially if they ask after I saw a problem I am struggling with. If I knew, I would not need the therapist with years of schooling!Read More...

Jillann: Thank you I will need to talk to him about those things you mentioned...it's just having the guts to do it instead of walking away. The biggest part for me I am having trouble reconciling is how he can only be there for me 50 minutes a week...and no more. That is really tough, especially with my background. Thank you for replying. I hope you are well T.Read More...

We all think you are really cool, TN. We're rooting for you!Read More...

((((AH)))) I notice a big difference in how I react to my T's voice. He can get a bit excited and talk quickly. I don't always connect to that voice. When he talks in low, soothing tones, I tend to connect better. I can totally understand how your H's tone would have upset you even though it had nothing to do with you per se.Read More...

(((TN))) So glad things are healing with T I was worried about you, I'm so sorry to hear of your pain and I hope you will get some relief from that soon. Sending (((hugs))) AHRead More...

Thank you Smiling Penguin I appreciate your reply Things will work out. They always do...it just may take a little time. All the best! T.Read More...

Dear Lost, I have similar issues. My most recent trauma was in Feb. of this year. Perpetrated by my brother. He was finally arrested in July but then a judge let him out on his own recognizance! Of course he failed to show up for his arraingment. Now they have another arrest warrant for him. When all this was happening, I felt like my mind was in a continuous loop. I remember driving down the road screaming STOP - PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP! I felt like I could not stop the looping...Read More...

Thanks ((Yaku))) and ((Liese)) Been a helluva week so far and I don't have tiem to respond now, but I will do so later tonight.Read More...

yes I think the caring hurts because it awakens longings, desires and wishes from long ago that were buried because they went unfulfilled. So the act of being cared for can trigger enormous amounts of grief over missing out on the most basic of emotional nurturance and care that we all needed as infants and children. As I go further along this journey I am starting to be able to really take in the care and love from my T in a way that remains with me between sessions and carries me through...Read More...

Thank you guys for your responses. I called his answering service on the advice of a friend and the message now is that he won't be back at all. So glad I called to hear that message. [/sarcasm] So glad I had an inside tip that there might be new information to be had via a generic message. This is T2. Did I mention that I was dumped by T1? (I probably did) And a lot of the attachment therapy I was working on with T2 was a result of the dumping by T1. At least with T1 I was face to face with...Read More...

River I've often felt the same way you do. I'm glad this thread gave you some hope.Read More...

Oh my goodness, thank you Catalyst and Mallard for your lovely and sensible replies (and the welcome)! I cried as I read that quote in the reply. It sort of put everything I am feeling into perspective and I feel really capable of talking to him about what I have been feeling lately. Hope you are both doing well <3Read More...

Holy cow turtle! That's nuts - it's like transference, eh? Sorta? I'd hope they were fired... using clinical records like that. Your brother sounds like a sweetie.. and it isn't your fault... you're allowed to have an emergency contact w/o someone stalking them. It's not like you gave the info and were like "BTW my brother is a Dr please contact him w/ whatever you need" ya know?Read More...

(((hugs all))) I'm afraid this might read like a lazy reply. I'm a little brain dead from a draining session yesterday, plus one of my little ones has a cold and was up a lot last night, plus I'm out of coffee and haven't had a chance to get to the store to buy some. But, I did appreciate all of your thoughts so much and wanted to at least reply a little while I have a few moments. Cat, question wasn't offensive, just made me realize I needed to clarify a bit more. It's definitely a more...Read More...