About, I understand your logic and it seems perfect but I also want to say that survival mode without therapy usually only functions for a while, until coping techniques break down from a major upheaval or prolonged stress. Then it becomes a cycle of returning to T/therapy periodically, during the worst of times, and leaving again when sessions get scary. I think (I'm sorry to say it too ) that when it gets scary is the most important time to go! My T uses the analogy of debriding (or...Read More...

Thanks AG. I needed to be reminded of what is going on "behind the scenes." Makes being in the thick of it feel more understandable and less shameful.Read More...

Okay thanks for explaining Wally. I guess it is best if you can repair it with her. You may need to go on and see a different T as well. I saw a T for 3 years and eventually terminated with her because we would talk like friends when we met. I mean it wasn't totally like friends in that she didn't speak a whole lot about her self but we chit chatted a lot. Plus she would not allow me to talk much about my past etc. So I decided to find a new T. However she and I are still in contact. We talk...Read More...

It's great news, a good T is such a rare thing!Read More...

(((TN))) I'm so glad you are okay. When you didn't come back, I got really worried that something bad happened. Come back and update us when you feel up to it.Read More...

One day I got caught in heavy traffic, couldn't make it to T. When I emailed saying I couldn't get there, she simply replied "I'm sorry you couldn't get here today". I felt full of rage. It meant nothing to her. I emailed back later telling her how angry I was at her brush off reply. She said she was sorry I felt she was brushing me off. Next session I told her how she could care less. She said something about how of course my not getting there doesn't mean the same to her as it did me.Read More...

CAt, as far as I know, it shouldn't affect us. I just got paranoid today because I had a hard time talking in session yesterday and I kept asking T what we should talk about. He threw out Obamacare. I told him I didn't want to talk about it but worried today that he had wanted to tell me it was going to affect my insurance coverage somehow.Read More...

There is mention of a T internalizing their patient. What does that Feel like to the T a.d How would that affect the relationship??Read More...

Belated ***TRIGGER WARNING - Mentions SU and communicating about it*** (((Cat))) This new Pdoc isn't for meds. There just has to be one seeing if I should be in the program and coordinating my participation. They said after the first meeting, I probably won't see them much. I'm just on high alert after the last one kept asking questions about my experiences and then knocking them down. Like, she doesn't worry when she treats moms with SU, because a mother would never, ever do that. When she...Read More...

Hi AG! I was hoping you would respond! I know you are the expert on this. I almost referenced your blog in my post. I did not suffer overt sexual abuse from my father, however, I did suffer covert incest so I have felt, to a great degree, that my only value for men is sexual. I have definitely had to learn that there are other things about me that matter too! This is something I have worked on in my therapy. I also think my T is attractive too! So, here is where I think I am at with the ET.Read More...

OOPS!! I have been in DBT for 6 months not 56 months!! God that would be horrible. lolRead More...

Hi Lizzie and welcome. I'm sorry you are dealing with all of this right now. I had a couple of thoughts - but of course I don't know your whole situation. First, I have never heard of an insurance company stepping in and getting that involved in what therapist someone chooses. If your T had the basic qualifications to be doing therapy, it is odd to me that they would "fire" - meaning refuse to pay for? - your T and further to say that they will find you an appropriate T! I'm going to guess...Read More...

That's a professional breach, you guys, if your T did talk to you about them/them about you, even if you and they know each other. I would really warn you about not talking about your T to those people, ever. My T probably still does see people I know or am acquainted with, but in the past I knew for sure he did. I actually met my ex-friend through my T. We were pretty good friends for well over a year. She would ask me a lot of questions about my sessions with T. (Unbeknownst to me at the...Read More...

Liese, I think its hard to trust sometimes that our T's know how to look after themselves in a way that means they can keep being there for us and that we are valuable to them even though we can't be a caretaker/support person. xxx GERead More...

I'm glad you and your T talked about this. Even though it's hard, it sounds like it may not be what you wanted necessarily, but your T is still looking toward what you need (stability, mostly - misunderstanding makes the relationship so hard).Read More...

SD I attend five days per week in a row (and thank whoever it is that invented medicare and my T for being a registered GP). the continuity is excellent for helping develop object constancy and in my early days I didn't have sessions on consecutive days and it was harder to deal withRead More...

Liese, You are right it is progress. I can see it but I can't change the upset and pain. I'm feeling pretty disheartened. I either cancelled a session or quit therapy 2-3 times/month in 2011 (by email and I went to every session in the end). In 2013 this is the second time I've considered quitting. I'm not sure I can improve anymore. Smilingpenguin, I am sorry that you have the same problem. I can totally relate to being afraid of T in a moment.Read More...

With the Ts I have had in the past usually they ask this as a sort of session opener. I have been asked what I want to talk about today and then decided what that is only to have them then say "Well this is what I want to talk about" I had the sense then that they were trying to see if we had the same thing on the agenda that day. I think it's a way of giving you some freedom to talk about what is most important to you at that moment. Given the whole session there is plenty of room to say...Read More...

hi tygr, its awful feeling so paralized when faced with decisions i hope these feelings ease a bit and you will be able to get a bit of peace. i dont know if this helps, but the course is not a major life decision, you will probably get something good out of it anyway even if it isnt perfect, and it sounds like you're leaning towards the cheaper course which means less pressure on your finances so hopefully an easier decision. i do understand about the T decision, and i think it's very wise...Read More...

Thank you so much HIC and Monte for sharing your stories about bringing your husbands into your therapy space. Part of me see why T wants me to do this. H and I are living more like roomates than an intimate married couple these days. We are very alike. I think that surprised T because she was saying people often seek out the relationship they saw as children. H and I are both very avoident personality styles. We say very little of what goes on in our heads. I was telling her Friday that the...Read More...

I have been with a good Therapist , we have been through alot ups and downs, I have seen him tired, frustarated and happy and he has been there for me , but offcourse he is human and I have finally learned that he is there for me , and after that stage finally came I feel I can move on, but sometimes I am just tired. He has told me its going to take time, but sometimes I feel little bit hopeless, and it makes everythink so much harder, longer that I have no support around me, and he has...Read More...

For everyone that is ok with it.Read More...

Do you all think that our sensitivity leaves us highly intuitive as well? I tend to find myself really being able to pick on the subtle clues of how another is doing or feeling in any interaction I have, especially with T because of how close that relationship is. I tend to really feel everything very easily and can definitely tell if it's a bad day or intuitively know when she's dealing with some very difficult personal things, even though she never ever lets that come into our sessions. I...Read More...

That's fantastic. I'm really glad you were able to raise this with him and that you got a successful resolution. Brilliant how you phrased it too - that you needed to be part of the decision. I've had Ts apologise to me on occasion, usually when we've recognised that they were reacting to their own stuff, not mine. Like you, learning to be assertive has been a massive thing so I recognise what an achievement this is. Nice oneRead More...