Hi Red Tomato I think she's recommending a man because both my ex-husband and father were emotionally unavailable to me. And in particular I've carried my father's emotional distance with me all my life. My first reaction to a man therapist was to say NO, as I wouldn't want to end up falling in love with him or anything but she says that wouldn't happen as the T she has in mind is very boundaried and I do need that as my experience with old T has shown me how weak my boundaries are...Read More...

I definitely have some sort of trauma or PTSD from my SE therapist. It's changed how I relate, charged my fears and causes me still to have flashbacks (to related material, not her) and avoid a number of things. Sometimes all the emotions from the things that happened come up and leave me anxious and insomnia ridden for days. Ts make mistakes and deal with very raw and vulnerable material and people - they will trigger and cause hurt as part of the process (and being human) and our reactions...Read More...

RT - I have a hard time understanding my T sometimes. I think it is me - I am so screwed up I can't understand her. She keeps telling me my ED makes perfect sense. She completely understands why it makes sense to me to not allow myself to eat and to punish myself. But then she tries to make me see how that is hurting me and how it is not helping things. I don't know. Is that empathy - understanding where I'm at and then trying to help me find a reason to move on? I'm sorry you feel your T...Read More...

She pegs herself, when asked, as eclectic but primarily Rogerian. I know she works in a lot of CBT-ish techniques and interventions as well, depending on the client and the issue. So, I wouldn't say that she doesn't use the relationship, but she tends to use it in a more limited (imho) and hear and now-ish sense. She doesn't do a lot with symbolic aspects of the transference, or making the kinds of interpretations that would extrapolate outwards from our relationship to the rest of me.Read More...

Thanks puppet, I'm sorry I didn't see. Its ok, just therapy issues!Read More...

SD I think you handled things very well and you are very respectful of boundaries. Your T knows this and I'm glad you went to say hi. It's also a very good sign of your relationship that you can discuss this and not ignore it. And yes, those darn anniversaries do make us extra sensitive and emotional as they approach. It's like those feelings of loss and abandonment reawaken in August and put you on alert. I am trying to get past those horrible memories while grieving the loss of someone so...Read More...

Hi Melba and The Kid, Thank you both for your understanding. I read a while ago that pain is pain and that advil helps with emotional pain. So, I took some a little while ago and guess what? I feel better. I can't believe it. Maybe it's all psychological but who cares, right?Read More...

(((SD))) LOL! Me too! It's tough stuff. (((CD))) There are parts of Burgo that I do appreciate and parts I don't. I suppose we do see a softer side of them. (((MONTE))) Thanks for pointing that out. It's probably true that their kids are envious of us as well. Thanks to everyone for being there, letting me express my feelings without judging and helping me to work through it. Hopefully work through it.Read More...

Thank you, kmay. I really appreciate your saying that. I'm still digesting all that's been said on this thread. My brain is working overtime, even though I am now on an indefinite break from therapy. My instincts said I needed a break, and even though my T did not agree or approve, I took it. For me, exercising my right to walk away for a while feels more empowering than anything else I've done in the last 2 months. Thanks again (((((kmay)))) RabbitEarsRead More...

That must have been heartbreaking! I understand exactly what you wrote, it's like I on the one hand what more, but part of me is also praying she doesn't fold. Which I know she won't. But what is this ambiviance all about :-(Read More...

I had a similar session today, not as intense as yours, and about fear. I am afraid of everyone now because of how I had to live in fear for the first 20 years of my life in order to survive. I am frustrated that after so many years of therapy and many positive experiences there and with other people in my life I still live in fear. T told me it takes a long time to heal from trauma that deep and I will have to constantly remind myself that the person I am dealing with now is NOT the person...Read More...

After having dinner with the family last night, came home feeling utterly distressed. Today I see T. I left her a v/m last night and sent her an email so she knows how desperate things feel. She also knows li'l one and I are feeling quite anxious about seeing her after her vacation. She responded early this morning to say she understands how I feel and heard how upset I am and really looks forward to seeing both of us this afternoon. I just want to hide under the covers and not go to work.Read More...

i know exactly what you mean, 100%. how are you doing?Read More...

I'm sorry you're so triggered. There are a lot of grey areas in the ethics of psychotherapy. But I can say definitively and adamantly that abuse of any kind against a child, elder, or disabled individual is not a grey area. It is wrong and illegal and action will be taken by any licensed mental health professional. It comes with the licensure to practice...licensed mental health professionals are mandated reporters and must report suspected abuse to these populations, or their license can...Read More...

(((Cat))) Thanks for checking in on me. Yesterday was pretty busy. Boo had a Kindergarten playdate to meet her soon-to-be classmates. She starts later this week, because it's a year-round school. I feel like I know it's affecting me profoundingly in some (past-related) way that I can't quite understand. Today, we are visiting with the little girl I used to watch, which is really nice. I'm not really dissociating it, but consciously putting it all aside until tonight when I can talk it over...Read More...

Liese, You make perfect sense, and thank you for sharing what happened to you. I am glad you and your T worked it out. I agree T's need to be forgiving on boundary crossing, especially if it is accidental. This one was a clear misunderstanding and I try to be so careful, yes you are right it is like walking on eggshells isn't it? I hate how some Ts argue and argue about a 2nd appointment. Some won't even consider. I know it has only been a short time but I am committed, and have seen that we...Read More...

Me as the adult does, totally. But the child is confused as ever, and remains enraged. My work is in aged care Jillann, where I have nursed bubby parents for the last twenty something years. I know how it feels when they are so in need of love. I think that is the only time brain reaches beyond my rage to give it to them. That is the time I can go beyond my own needs and see theirs. But when I asked for support in caring for these people I was up against a boss who wasnt capable of empathy...Read More...

((((dragglepuss)))) it will be okay - talk with her and sort these issues out - you know she cares for you greatly!!! as do you for her!!!Read More...

Cat Really like the idea of not being identified & staying in like a "3rd party" situation. Thanks! Draggers Thank you for those blog links. They were really interesting to read & helpful. Thank you!!Read More...

I feel so unable to contain the hurt. I sent a rant email back to T. She replied saying she's sorry she didn't see that things had gone very wrong for me and that had sent me back to a very young time when I couldn't put it into words but wanted someone to make it ok for me. I'm not sure I'm even sure that's what's going on. I feel a desire to eat & eat. To put something 'inside' of me.Read More...

what thread was it, draggers?Read More...

' I tried to speak but had no memory of the events prior to resignation. I couldn't formulate any words to converse with him. ' This part of my dream is pre verbal, I think. I do remember it was very frustrating not to have the ability in the dream to communicate how I felt to my father/image. " 'Boss' was too busy refurbishing and cleaning her ivory tower to notice me." This could also be pre verbal. It was a knowing my mother/image was not available to me emotionally. In that dream,I...Read More...

Hollow and Melba, I am so sorry it has taken me so long to respond, but I truly appreciate your replies. Hollow, this hit home with me: I am so happy you shared this, because I definitely feel this from my therapist. He is always calmly accepting of whatever I have told him, which I will now look at as a wonderful type of reassurance (although I would still love to hear the reassuring words from him Melba, When I get the courage to bring up the issues I am fearful to talk about, I hope my...Read More...

LOL, good way of putting it Cat. Yearn away Cat but don't wish too much for what you want or..... In the meantime lots of cuppa's, and might help.Read More...

anna - I have, sometimes it would be to check in daily. which helped, my T will sometimes suggest it if i'm feeling like a bother, just so i can pick up feeling 'okay' with it again, then it goes down. i check in via voicemail... and i say how i'm doing, or if/if not i need contact back, etc. i think it's okay to say how you feel not just make everything sound okay. it's also okay to check in even when you ARE totally fine or just WANT contact, if it helps keep you stable and your T is okay...Read More...