hi hurting... welcome to the Board. Are you currently in therapy? I don't know much about you but if you were abused throughout your childhood then you may be attracted to partners that have some of the traits of your parents (because they feel familiar to you) and you end up with partners who are abusive. This is very common. There is also something called repetition compulsion where you put yourself in situations that are repetitions of what happened in childhood with the idea that THIS...Read More...

Thank you Quell, TN, and Monte, I will write more of a response when I have some time. Just wanted to say thank you.Read More...

That's courage. Good for you, Jillann!Read More...

CD Thank you for the link. I have read it but am rereading it as well I have been doing a lot of rereading of different articles lately - sometimes just to remind myself that things do get better. Thank you and I hope you are doing well.Read More...

My T and I have probably crossed alot of lines. I believe the lines are a bit bendable in some cases.Read More...

I don't really know anymore. My T has said that she would rather I call her than hurt myself in any way (ED, self-harm, suicidal action all included here). If it's during a time she's not available (vacations and weekends she is 100% NOT available) then I do whatever else I need to (and have my P and adjunct T as backup). I'd probably be dead for 2 solid minutes before I'd ever call 911 for a medical emergency. There are times I've called my P or Drs on their regular line and been told to...Read More...

What Cat said ^ Yay!Read More...

(RT) Yes, it's quite exactly what I feel, thank you for putting words on my feelings. ((Starlight)) Before looking at it, she asked whether I had spent money on it, saying that, if yes, she may not accept it, but I think that if it's small, it's fine (especially if it is for a specific reason like you, because indeed, soft toys are quite "normal" in the case of babies...) I hope you can find your way to decide whether you give it or not and not feel bad about your decisionRead More...

((((((CAT)))) I'm not really sure I meant self-talk. Maybe more a sense of self that stood up for itself because standing up for what I needed never occurred to me before. It was as if my whole thought and language system evolved around the other's needs. Nothing of the sort developed around my needs. As I've worked through a lot of the self-loathing and other things that kept me from getting in touch with my needs, I am finding that what I need and want is more clear to me in a spontaneous...Read More...

Thanks Liese and TN I appreciate it. My T is actually leaving next e week so we won't be able to work on getting anything until the week after which I am ok with. TN, I feel exactly the same way. I'm afraid that she will read something that will make her want to get rid of me. She is gone next week anyway so I have some time to think about it. I had written my entire update of my story out last night and my stupid laptop pooped out on me before I posted it. Was so mad! I will update soon.Read More...

(by the way, should I move the topic/ask for it to be moved to Account&stories because it's too general for the "Question" section?)Read More...

Thanks everybody for giving me insight into this! It was really helpful. The lights are starting to calm down.Read More...

Here's my reply again hopefully more people can see this here now!! That's crazy that your T wasn't keep progress notes!! Were you under insurance at that time? I'm not sure if it makes a difference. What I'm wondering if there is any way you could appeal and perhaps see if they would accept a letter from your T about your general progress in treatment? I wouldn't want my personal therapy notes on my record either (unfortunately, some of them are because I've been in the hospital before and...Read More...

Lieder, Monte, Poppet, Thank you! I appreciate all your responses. Liese, I have been meaning to update my story from where I left off. I haven't had the energy. But I will. (((poppet))), Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words.Read More...

hi anagum, of course you're going to be sad too, and have a whole lot of mixed feelings about it. i hope you had a chance to have some sessions to talk about the termination and get some closure, even if it was your decision to leave. it does sound like you know what you're doing in leaving this T and i hope the next one is a much better match for you! puppetRead More...

way to go rabbityears!!! i think that is huge... i know how hard it is to bring these secrets out to someone, you're waiting for the lightning to strike, but it won't. it's ok now, it's your life and your voice and you can use it. i hope you can continue feeling proud of yourself! puppetRead More...

Oh my goodness, what a funny, tender and wonderful interaction! Thank you for sharing!Read More...

All the time. Am in the midst of a painful one right now, and I'm pitching a major fit even though I know he's right.Read More...

my T is the same age as my mother, perfect for huge transference issues! i'm in my 30's, she's in her 60's. puppetRead More...

Aw, that is nice to hear, thanks. My current T is "eclectic", but primarily Rogerian. She's pretty adaptable in her approach to. . . well, everything. That's been good in some ways because I never feel controlled or like she is imposing her views or agenda on me, but there has been some trial and error and occasional frustration in figuring out the best way to use my sessions and how to work productively. We spent a lot of time the first year or so just getting to know eachother. I was slow...Read More...

My T says that to me all the time! LOL I talk about my interactions with others and explain how the conversation went and my T always notes that I give more love to others than to myself.Read More...

Yes you're right liese. I don't have to take her BS. I really try not to call her when things r bad. Sometimes I call & she just says "what's wrong I can hear it in your voice." That makes me feel like a kid & how a mom should react but usually she says "what do you have to be upset about." Kind of the same ...but not really & that's a jab. I know I have to psyche myself up when I call. Last time I called her really desperate I was setting up my 1st gallery art exhibition for my...Read More...

Thank you a lot for this answer! (Yes, it does reassure me because I really was worried^^)Read More...

Thank you for the motivation to keep going. I am so scared and want to just bug out and not go, but the alternative are the night time cries each night, so I guess it's worth working on. Thank you for being so kind.Read More...

I can't believe I did that..I'm not that kind of person to quit anything like that. And I did originally say that I'd want to do one more session to discuss everything, but then I changed my mind and said I wanted this to be the last one. The first thing T asked when I told her I need to take a break from therapy is if I am going to kill myself. I was surprised at this, although I can see how my demeanor throughout the session could cause her to think that. I hope T knows how much I...Read More...