((Turtle)) thanks for your fierce care and concern. I clarified the situation with T and he didn't mean for me to think I wasn't allowed to contact him at all. Part of me really hates him atm for a number of complicated reasons. I have some good self care strategies that I use. The problem is I want someone else to care for me when I'm in such psychic and emotional agony and I become rageful and irate when nobody does and I'm forced to DIY. DIY was the story of my childhood so its...Read More...

I see my Pdoc for 15min & only discuss meds & how they make me feel. Nothing outside of that like external things that may effect it. I don't like that bec I know there are other tho gs that effect my mood besides meds. I see him every 2-3 wks bec we've been doing A LOT of med changes. I feel he does his job & that's it. A personality would b nice but I guess I'm not paying for that. I try to go by word of mouth on references. People don't lie about drs. Good luck.Read More...

Hi anagum...Shrinklady is the only one at this time that has the ability to grant access to the private forums. Sometimes it takes awhile for her to respond. TNRead More...

oh, that is not fair.... stomping feet. I am really following this thread so super closely as I am always grappling with this issue and you all have really helped me take a step forward. CD, can you pls repost as I missed it, but understand if you arent able to. SomedaysRead More...

My T does this a lot. It closely relates to mentalizing where you hold a mind (yours or another's) in mind to understand how and why that mind ticks that way.Read More...

Thanks for asking. It was a weird situation. My mom died and that is what started it. She called me every single day from that point on. I could even understand calling for a few days after my mom died as I was devastated but then it went on and on. And oddly rather than feeling like a feast, it started to feel really depressing and I began to not really care about her or the calls. I began to miss sessions etc. So strange when I have thought for so many years that increased attention would...Read More...

Same here for me... after the medication kicked in, it was a world of difference for me. I had already been in therapy for a long time. The anti-depressant didn't stop me from feeling. Together with therapy I could move forward again.Read More...

Thank you Cat! You're always so supportive of me and it doesn't go unnoticed. Yeah it is unnerving being in skills group with her consultation team. I mean they know A LOT about me. When I started with this new T I was not in a good place and she told me that she consulted with them a lot about me. So I know they know a lot. I have to set shame and pride aside to do this. I feel like they could easily be judging me right now. UghRead More...

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I am truly sorry for any difficulty this post or any of my other posts have caused you. It certainly wasn't my intention. All the best, T.Read More...

RedTomato - I love your username, btw. Regarding medication, that's what I thought too. If I was only able to not be affected so much by my issues, I would be able to think straight and work through them. Regarding honesty, that's, for me, one of the hardest parts for me to work through. Sometimes I feel like I tend to be two separate people: when at home, I'm more "myself" (meaning I can lash out and express my negative emotions more), but when I'm with the rest of the world, I tend to hold...Read More...

an update.... Last week I left a cell phone voice mail message for my former T (her personal voice mail-not her office voice mail). I didn't get a response back, but I didn't indicate in the message that I needed a call in return. I just called to thank her. I also let her know that I had been to a conference and saw an internationally known training therapist that she told me about a couple of years ago. I hope she wasn't upset or anything. I don't think she could be seeing as it was just a...Read More...

Hey Poppet: Was just going to reply but it looks like you already have concluded it would be too messy. I think what the others have mentioned about PMing would be okay though. CTLRead More...

I´m a little late to this but I just wanted to say what a nice post that was, TAS. I don´t know you well enough yet but it´s nice to know that we all have that sense of unity and solidarity through this. On my part, I have been bad about replying to things (and that is because they ignite triggers in me) but I´ll try to be better about that. Hug!Read More...

Yes I the T slasher strike fear in all T here! Protector of rights & profanity use. Long may it reign I'n my kingdom!!! (enter knight & shining armor to save me!) hello? CUT Oh well just very glad he's gone ThanksRead More...

RT, i can relate to all of that stuff you wrote about. right now i'm wondering if this is stuff you've shared with your T? how did she react? i think alot of my problem is that i don't know how to articulate my feelings and experiences. i have a really hard time with that. that and showing up with the expectation that your everyday life is supposed to just suspend while you go away for an hour and spill your guts to somebody and then you have to go back out into the wild and function. that's...Read More...

(((scars))) whatever you're experiencing or thinking now, i'm thinking about you and wish you the best on your life journey. keep us posted, cuz we careRead More...

((((OUTSIDER)))) I'm right there with you in a pretty thick web. You aren't alone.Read More...

((((TN)))) No worries about hijacking. I'm getting discouraged. I did believe there was a road. But I seem to have hit a major obstacle: Me.Read More...

I'm currently in a group and was also in one about 3 years ago. Both were time limited (10 sessions). The first group I didn't find helpful but I think that was partly because the leaders didn't choose the most compatible group. The one I'm in now is for sexual abuse and assault survivors...it's tighter knit and smaller in general. With the topic of the group, I'm having a hard time with how quickly we're having to move through stuff. But I like everyone and even though it's triggering, it's...Read More...

thank you so much GE, irishgirl, pingles! today i'm feeling more positive - in the fact that maybe its not that she doesnt care but maybe she is too sick to email / call.... but this is also negative as it worries me, so i'm trying not to think about scenarios.... puppetRead More...

((((BLU)))) What is the context of the stigma around loving our therapists? Just the relationship itself? BLU, At least you are trying. That takes a lot of courage.Read More...

Hey Blu, I know that's what they say but when, really, do we get a healthy ending in life? I did read a shrink say that if shrinks in general were truthful with themselves, they'd acknowledge that good endings are for their benefit as well. After all, what shrink could feel good about a bad ending? Maybe I should just consider skyping until I get settled and find another therapist and that might cut down on all this nonsense I'm putting myself through. Awww, Held, thanks for telling me my...Read More...

The thing is I could avoid this distress by just not contacting him and then I could ignore any need to discuss this with him further. I appreciate what you are saying about talking to him about it and creating clear expectations but I really don't do well expressing my needs and being clear on what causes me issues, one of the many reason I am in therapy! Liese, no need to apologise, it's me thinking I'm demanding, not you implying it. TN, I admire how you and your T manage between session...Read More...