Can so relate to this. Ugh dependence, attachment, longing, the pain. Thanks for having the courage to discuss.Read More...

PASSION FRUIT, I really identify with practically everything you said. I was trying to do the same thing - control my T's feelings towards me. I have a four year old too! Of course, would love to see how it all gets resolved since I was not able to resolve it with my old therapist but only as much as you ever want to share.Read More...

I guess you are saying that you cannot (yet) feel a connection with him in session. He isn't present for you in a way that feels meaningful and is possible for you (looking at someone when crying is really hard to do to be fair). It seems such a big risk to reach out, in case you find that there is no one there - and that would be too much to cope with. I have had therapy where, just at the wrong moment, the therapist feels miles away - far across a ravine, like a dot on a way off mountain...Read More...

Let me try out a few Yup. Love them!Read More...

Moi?Read More...

you didn't miss anything, and you're a dear ((((Leise))))Read More...

The confusion isn't unique to us, the clients - that's why most Ts have supervision We all need someone to talk to about what's going on in our heads, with someone subjective who can help us understandRead More...

"About" I had such a Da JA Vu experience in your description about your mom. Sad to say, I was raised by an aunt who sounds just like her outlook on life. You so much have to believe in yourself and a better way of life. She must have had a rough bringing up herself...not to excuse anyone. But it's been $80,00 later and I'm just now learning how to treat myself with kindness and love. I hope you stay in therapy. I told my T last session that I might stay in therapy the rest of my life, if I...Read More...

My greatest hope, honest and truly, is to live forever in the Snoopy dog house she has under her desk.Read More...

Hi All, I've been wanting to come back to this discussion for awhile now. Life has just been really busy for me. I have been reading Brene' Brown's the gifts of Imperfection. It is a really little book and I've skimmed the whole thing but I find that to truly understand and absorb what she is saying I have to go back and read very slowly and sort of sit with it. In the book she lists 10 guideposts to living a wholehearted life. The second guidepost is letting go of perfectionism and...Read More...

I very much appreciate the responses; they've offered some needed perspective. I hesitated to post, but decided to do so because this therapy dilemma has been going on for months now and I haven't known how to handle it. Jones--You write for therapy, too, huh? That made me smile. And I was glad to know I am not alone in needing what I've written to matter to my T for it to be worth it to me to continue to write. That was validating. I do want to talk with her about doing things...Read More...

(((DPS))) I like that when you think of kinship, you think of something that is very meangingful. When I read it, my first impression was that it was sort of a general kind of feeling connected to everyone because we understand now that we are all trying to get the same things for ourselves but I like the way you see it better. I wasn't referring to an equal/unequal vs. an equal/equal type of thing. I was referring to the last time I can recall having strong attachment feelings towards...Read More...

Thank you allRead More...

Hi Yaku, Most of the time I recognize myself pretty quickly, but there are rare occasions where I have to "watch" myself for a while before I can identify myself. I may have had a few dreams where I never recognized myself, but I don't remember those in any detail. The abuse in my dreams isn't realistic either; I tend to have dreams where my dad is abusing me as an adult woman rather than the little girl I was. There can be some weird stuff in those dreams. But, for me, that indicates the...Read More...

TAS, I am so sorry about your pup. Life sometimes really sucks.Read More...

Hi, sorry I am a bit late, I was in between Canada and France, but here it is, I am back. Therapy often makes me anxious (I am sick before most of the sessions), so I feel your pain! My solutions so far have been: - benzo: I was prescribed some for some time, but i was not taking them before therapy (made me too sleepy), but the general lowering of anxiety in the rest of my life made the anxiety more manageable during the sessions - rum: not a solution I would recommend, but I did use it a...Read More...

Hi thanks for your feedback and apologize for the error on my part.Read More...

Hi Rebuilding Me, I haven't been going very long and I think it is very dependent upon the practitioner and their methodology. I have experienced it in a very patient-directed way, in which the practitioner asks me what I need and then she would do that. In that case, it was just placing her hands on my shoulders or back, where ever my instinct led me. She would then ask me if it was okay for her to touch my feet, or whatever she felt the impulse to touch based upon what she sensed my need...Read More...

Thanks avoidant to bringing up Hakomi psychotherapy. I've never heard of it before. It sounds helpful. I looked it up and there are several workshops in my area dealing specifically with mindfulness and attachment issues. I'd love to hear of others who have used their methods. Thanks again, PFRead More...

Hi I dissociate and it varies in intensity and speed. Sometimes I can feel it coming and ground myself (rare though). I also do full on switches and that too varies as to how much I am aware of what is happening. It is lightening fast though and not controllable (at least not for me, at the moment). The trouble is, it seems for me, that the trauma is held inside of dissociated parts of myself (if that makes any sense). It can feel like none of that stuff happened to 'me' - as in the me...Read More...

Hi MC, Here is the title: Resolving Impasses in Therapeutic Relationships It's great if you can get your hands on it.Read More...

Okay, I haven't realized that pre-verbal means I can be the child self and adult at the same time in the session. That explains a lot. Actually I do that. T asks me how the inner kid feels and I tune in and report in words. I'm relieved to know that's how it works, because it would be embarrassing to my adult self to just get into the child mode and babble baby talk or start sucking my thumb. I realize therapy can sometimes go there, but I'm not ready for that, maybe never will be. As for...Read More...

Hi Ninn, thanks for sharing about the cards, maybe that would be a better idea than the stones. Sometimes things feel like a big commitment that I won't be able to get out of. Probably me just running away from my feelings again! It's great that your t like the cards so it might not feel strange bring them into your session.Read More...

Yes, I do respect my T. I value his opinion on things, I take what he says into account, even though it is hard for me to hear, at times. I value the fact that he challenges me on all different levels of my life, without coming off as a know-it-all. I've been lucky because I have respected all 3 of the T's I have had in my past. But, like others have said, I think the respect is mutual, too. LJBRead More...

Hi SB. Im not sure where you are from but I guess its the UK? I just wanted to say that I understand where you are coming from. I had similar problem, not with the object but I couldnt open up to the counsellor. I saw 2 different counsellors and it wasnt working for me. I missed sessions every 2 or 3 weeks and in the end I stopped going. But then I found a counsellor who is amazing and I go and see him every week. It took me 9 months to find him. The sessions are through a church and its...Read More...