Hey there BLT - There you go again, figuring my stuff out faster than me. I hadn't considered this idea - that different parts of me were having such different feelings. That sounds pretty obvious now, but it makes such sense. My T has me picture myself as my adult self me, holding on one hip the insecure needy part of my disorganized attachment, and on the other hip my avoidant part. It makes total sense that parts of me are having different feelings. Untangling. Oh my, yes. YES. Thanks for...Read More...

Thank you everyone! Your posts have made me feel so much calmer, thank you, thank you! Starfish - thank you for your reply. You are right - these are issues of acceptance. Accepting what is true, accepting my feelings about it. And I can be gentle with myself as I fight against that acceptance, recognizing that I am making progress, little by little. Thank you! Kashley - thank you for your reply! I always appreciate your responses because you sound so much like me. Life was different when I...Read More...

((LIESE)) Thanks for the HUGS and the thoughts. I so needed it right now. It's been a rough few days. I am looking forward to session tonight. I am feeling lost right now. I like your idea of a puzzle. That might a good ice breaker. I do express to my T that I don't like feeling like all eyes/attention are on me sometimes. Maybe the puzzle will ease us into a discussion. Thanks for the tip. Tonight I am going to try to be as open as I can be. I AM not going to close up if I can help it. I am...Read More...

I was diagnosed with ADD before I was diagnosed with PTSD. I tried ADD medication for the first time at 38 and I couldn't believe the difference it made in my working life. I have known my boss for over 20 years and he could tell there was a big change. Right now I am on Vvyanse and find it has a positive effect on my mood. I also take Omega-3 vitamins which are supposed to help people with ADD and I have several routines which help me keep on track. I am very methodical and I force myself...Read More...

Ang and R2G, It's so good to know others struggle to express anger. This is THE issue my T wants me to tap and to date, I have not been able to do it. I can finally admit that there might be anger in certain circumstances, but I kick it away so quickly. Ang, I think your T would see it as a major step if you can share with him these dark places. I guarantee that he won't hate you. I have read a T's blog where he actually sees this as something that helps "nurture" the work. Seems SO bass...Read More...

((((ANNA)))) Just checking in to see how you are doing since your T has been back?Read More...

It sounds like everyone knows quite a bit more about their T's than I know about mine. It was really great to read everyone's stories and thoughts on the subject. It seems like most if not all of you are saying that you think some self-disclosure can be helpful in the right context for the right reason. Does anyone want to care about their T? I want to care about my T but can't if I don't know anything about him. It's hard to be in a relationship and sometimes feel like I could walk away and...Read More...

Hi JenDark, My old eq T had supervision because she was just a few years into her practice, and my current t collaborates with another T because it helps her at times even after 30 years. They both explained to me that not much of what I said in great detail ever went to the other T. It was more about getting other ideas on how to best help, and if needed, getting outside input to help any counter-transference that was going on. I asked eq T for an example, and it was pretty vague what kinds...Read More...

Hi Scars, I relate to your issues, especially the superficial attachment. My therapist and I are currently working on that. It's tough, and it can take a long time, but it's the kind of thing that can be worked through with a good therapist. Like MMM said..you're not alone, not in the least.Read More...

It may seem weird, but I have only used skype for this particular T. And I was dubious (for SO many reasons!). The first session was no more strange than a first session with any T. We have only had a couple of sessions with a bad connection (literally two sessions out of scores), and I did find that those were tough. At one point, we just canned skype and went to the phone, but that has happened just once. I would imagine that since you already have the emotional connection with your T, it...Read More...

This is a great attitude and you need to keep it going through the tough times. I am hoping for this too and when it gets hard, my T reminds me of just what you wrote above. He agrees with you! He tells me that therapy is the hardest thing I'll ever do but it will be so worth it on the other side and he is looking forward to going there with me. I'm so glad you have found this site to be supportive and helpful. We do our best. Hugs TNRead More...

(((JD))) I love STRM's suggestion to focus on the short term. I have to do the same thing, because I honestly get thrown into a serious existential crisis (a.k.a. SU) any time I try to think about where my life is going at this point. I just have to keep my head down and just watch the road immediately in front of me and not try to find the road signs that are still out of sight. I also think that your panic makes sense because, even though you're doing some great things, they are still...Read More...

Hi scars09 and welcome to the board. I hope you find the support and information that you need here. In my mind, the difference between counseling and psychotherapy is that a counselor usually works on a short-term basis but the more important difference is that a counselor will advise on current, life events that are going on. That would include a recent grief, a decision about a job or school, a career change, having a baby or adopting, moving to a new area, parenting issues, etc. I think...Read More...

So what did you do? Update, please?Read More...

Hi HIC, It seems like the incident did bring you and your T closer together in a good way. I suspect that she sincerely appreciated what you did. I think it's important to remember that our T's are human beings too and they also have their issues and problems. I think the important thing is that this is your therapy and the focus remains on you. It sounds like your therapist has been able to do this. HIC, I think our individual needs/reasons for therapy are different. For me to be better...Read More...

Thanks all. I did show my post and journal writings to my T at my Friday session. It was most uncomfortable beyond the normal fear I experience. I have read other posts where T's can't handle it and "divorce" themselves from their client. I don't think my T would do this, but someone inside my head fears this, fears what T thinks about her, worries she is getting tired of me, etc...My feelings/emotions are flipping back and forth quite a bit. Drives me crazy! kmRead More...

Hi B2W - thanks for checking in! T and I are still in conversation around the idea of being and acting grown up. I have finally made the decision that yes, that is what I want to be, and now we're working through the process of grieving and moving forward with life. Getting lots of insights though! Puppet - I like the idea of a learning curve! Interesting fear of death - that's not in my mind, I'm more scared of losing the part of me that I know best - the kid coping mechanisms, and...Read More...

((((DGUOM)))) Why is it that you say you "have to go home"? I don't know your circumstances so it is hard to comment. Have you spoken to your T about possible options that will free you from that situation? The reality is....the only thing that you "have to do" is make choices. Sacrifice is often a big part of choice. You just have to decide who or what you are prepared to sacrifice. At the moment it seems as though your happiness has been sacrificed. Choices DGUOM. Isn't it ironic that you...Read More...

Cat, Thanks for the information. I have not made a decision what to do yet. But, you have been very helpful. :0)Read More...

these are very good questions TAS! it really helps to review your progress and relationship. i'm on a long break right now so i've been thinking about stuff like this a lot (possibly in a more negative light). i didnt have a clear list of issues when i started seeing my current T. i guess in short they mostly are about my relationships and the way i feel about myself. when she asked i said that i've always felt broken and i hope she can help fix me. she also told me that my issues are deep...Read More...

hi athenacus, termination is soo hard, even if it is your decision or a mutual one. i think its good to make sure you give this phase enough time. whatever 'enough time' means you can decide or you can talk to your T and decide together. i hope 3 sessions will be enough, but maybe it's good to talk about it again to make sure? also, it would be good to talk about what happens after - are you able to see your T once in a while or if you have a crisis etc. when I terminated with my old T (of 6...Read More...

Thanks for the replies - I always appreciate your individual insights and personal experiences. I guess I'm worried that I'll be my usual insecure self...because I've already been sitting here thinking up all of the ways I'll sit across from her and apologize... I've been intentionally avoiding processing anything... and haven't written anything at all in my journal...Honestly, I've left the journal in my car this entire time. Generally because when I journal about something, it opens up a...Read More...

i do sometimes think a T will mess with you, but hopefully in a way that will help you. i told my T a long time ago that i don't like the question "what would you like to talk about today?" and then guess what? that's how he would open sessions! i know it's my own junk and i should have said something every time he opened that way, but for some reason i just couldn't make myself do it. and now he has stopped with that question. i just wonder if i've missed out on a great opportunity to...Read More...

Hi Blanket Girl, I'm sorry to be so late in responding but the idea of long breaks you mentioned gave me a lot to think about. I had my appt. yesterday and maybe I'm getting better. You also mentioned the transference maybe being too intense. It may be a symptom of me going off meds on my own and becoming numb/flat again but it's like I don't care, or I'm getting better. Too much to go into but I'm waiting for those close to me to see if I start to become rude or anything. We never got to...Read More...

yes there have been at least a couple of times - one in particular which was really hard. she did explain later and sort of apologised and although rationally i understood and i put it off as an 'off day' - i think there is still damage there that wasnt repaired... which i assume will come up sooner or later. but this just made me realise it has had a big impact and it definitely hasnt and will not just go away. thanks for reminding me! oh dear, athenacus - that's a bit of a worry! those are...Read More...