I love that blog. Thanks for posting this. Commitment. I have heard that word from my T, too. My word. My commitment. It feels good to know that she is there; committing to the work we are doing together. That's such an action of love, like the quote states." I needed to read this right now, so thank you again!Read More...

Somatic work is what I do in addition to my regular T. It has been an amazing supplement and helps me regulate intense sessions.Read More...

I had a back up T when my T was on vacation. My T actually arranged it with my consent. When I met with the new T it was mostly an hour of check in and stabilizing, nothing too deep. We talked about my anxiety and fears, and general triggers that were happening. It worked great. It didn't take away the separation pain, but it sure helped to keep me stable and knowing I had back up made things less chaotic.Read More...

Wow thanks everyone! AG I think I got lost on your blog reading for the last hour or so. How amazing you can speak all of that. At least on your blog. I have written everything in my journal about the last session. Maybe I should just bring that with me to the next one. I don't know if I could have him read it or if I can even read it out loud. Do y'all let your T read or do you read it to them?Read More...

Thank you CD. One step at a time and I believe we are all doing the best we can with what we know All the best, T.Read More...

Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts and opinions. I really enjoyed reading all the responses. PFRead More...

For me it came from several things: - being shamed, by my family and childhood therapist so it partly is protective of myself: it is bad to ask for anything. - the other part is just family history: my needs (non-vital needs, so not food and shelter, but emotional) were always shown as hurtful to my mother. The only way to have my needs met would be if the person sacrificed herself... and then would end up leaving me, because who would want to stay with someone with "so many needs"? +... my...Read More...

((Ms C)) I'm English. We do understatement wellRead More...

That is my understanding too as to why some Ts don't allow txt / email contact - it's very difficult to ascertain 'tone' and the real meaning can be lost or not heard - which would potentially cause more pain for the client. Although in this case - it's easy to see how it's caused pain due to a series of events .... I am allowed to email my T - BUT it's with the clear understanding; it's not for therapy WORK - I can email her what I thinking and feeling, BUT we will talk about it at our next...Read More...

I relate to this. Prior to another major trauma just over 3 years ago, my life was going really well. I had been stable and happy (!!!) for several years, loved life, and 'glad to be alive' ( this after years if depression which states when I was a child). Since the major trauma and subsequent PTSD (childhood trauma re-triggered) I've struggled with what you're describing. So wit was my depression is so bad I am actually suicidal, but even on the days I 'feel great!' I ask myself the lit us...Read More...

That kind of T stance is common in some psychodynamic models of therapy. It would totally trigger me and leave me feeling as you do. It's not a question of her caring - it's just not the right thing for all people at all points of their work perhaps? sbRead More...

Hi there. I think it is also a personal preference when you are considering the age of your therapist compared to yours. My first two T's were much older than I. I saw them, as you would guess, as "father figures" I guess you could say. Both of them--really GREAT men. My current T is my same age--actually we are only a week apart--and at first I thought it was going to be a problem. But, I have to say, it has really worked out for the best. I actually think he is the most effective therapist...Read More...

(((MC))) I'm not sure how you discovered the things that are the roots of your problems now, but I can imagine not really knowing is scary. Being paranoid makes sense. I'm not sure what it is like exactly but I do know there are a number of people who have come to things much later. Hopefully someone else can chime in on then dream stuff and connections. I get triggered with recovered memory stuff and my own personal stuff puts me in a cautious position. There is a lot more room for fluidity...Read More...

come back when you need, we'll be here!Read More...

in 20 years of different Ts i have never EVER made real eye contact ….. its too intense … my 1st T, i can count on one hand how many times i looked up at her - 4 times - in a 7 year period. it was shame, and then it became a weird thing in that she went on and on and ON about it so much, it left me even more self conscious that i could NEVEr look up for fear of it being such a huge deal (and id feel more shame) my 2nd T, i did look at her - buuuuuutttttt - i had my glasses off - so i could...Read More...

Thank you all so much. Your marvellous replies really reinforce my overall feeling that this was something good. Yesterday it struck me that perhaps it had such impact because no one ever has had that sort of contact or known me so well. I know that could be both sad and good. I have no ability to feel my feelings at the moment so I think I tend to over think:-) but it feels like a step forward. Thank you again and lovely to 'meet' you all xRead More...

I have tried using affirmations on post it notes on my mirror in the bathroom. I try to tell myself I have "inherent worth" because I believe we all do. It is hard shedding the garbage of messages I have received throughout my life. I have faith I will have a more accurate perception of myself and my worth one of these days...Read More...

Hey Blue, it's all right to be a bit rattled and not write the perfect response. You're working through things and that takes up a lot of emotional head space. I think the good thing about this forum is that people tend to be really gracious in letting that happen, letting people say stuff in their own words and also being accepting if they want to go back and change those words. I recognise a lot of my own feelings in what you wrote. If blame doesn't work so well for you, is there another...Read More...

Thanks for your replies. It seems to me that it is different from country to country what the professionals do, as in my country an Audiologist do provide support related to the emotional challenges related to the disease/disability. But as one do not need a licence or registration to this titly it may differ from each person. As I understand the hospitals often refer their patients to Audiologist for providing coping skills. I have never heard of a health psychologist so we probably do not...Read More...

I was just thinking of you yesterday. Nice to hear from you. He will NOT give up on you and you will not give up either. I've done this dance a lot also. My T could have dumped me a long time ago and goodness knows I've tried to get him to dump me in some very creative and mean ways and dammit, he will not give up on me and we have forged a great alliance...a very rough road, as we all know. It ebbs and flows and we have learned a great deal from each other. You will figure this out...Read More...

Words are beyond HUGE in my life. Like ginormous. And, yes I do sometimes get stuck on rhyming words in my head. But that always feels playful. (I really like alliteration too. ) -RTRead More...

RT and Cat, Thank you for these excellent responses. I want to respond in more depth later, when there's time, but for now I just want to say how much I appreciate your responses.Read More...

Oh, Exploring! If only I could believe, even a little bit, that this was true.... -RTRead More...

Hi yaku. My heart really goes out to you. Feeling hated by the person you want to love and accept you is so painful. And I can agree that attachment has been all those things you mentioned and more. I want to tell you there is hope for moving forward. Unfortunately, it’s been a very slow process. I’m not sure if this is true for everyone, but I can share what I learned from another T that I saw for one session. She said I would feel what I feel with or without my T. She said I feel hated...Read More...

Thanks RM for your input. Skylynx - You're right, he doesn't know my feelings. He'll be gone for what feels like an extremely long time. The few groups I found interesting don't start until the fall. Thanks for your thoughts! You guys have been helpful! PFRead More...