Thank you for sharing your experience with me. I really appreciate it I guess all things work out with time. T.Read More...

Thank you so much Anna. I appreciate you sharing that with me. T.Read More...

(((smallfry))) I can only say that if you were my child I'd be begging NOT to stay with this new job. Nothing is worth the sort of risks you are being asked to take. I just hope so much that you decide never to go back again. Hopefully you can fit right back into your old job. Please keep us informed of how things go and please look after yourself. AVRead More...

Thank you so very much all for your supportive responses.. Honestly I dont even remember how the next session went, or what happened or why or when I was feeling this way. Its all very confusing to me. But at this time, I am very grateful I have your responses to look to, whenever I am feeling this way again. I know my T cares, and thats probably comforting and equally horrifying to me, because Im not sure what "caring" means. But I suppose im learning, through this forum and through T...Read More...

beautiful and sad words muff, but why are they 'parting words'?... i hope you're not going away? or are you ending therapy?... sorry if I have missed that... hugs, puppetRead More...

Hi Pixie, welcome to the forum! I admire you so much for having addressed these issues so directly, and I completely agree with the others here - therapy would be immensely helpful. If I can share something for just a moment, maybe you'll see what I mean. I lived a life that was pretty self-destructive for a while, and then "got rescued" by some dear friends, and made some massive changes in a very short time. It was like a honeymoon phase, you know? I felt empowered, and I'm pretty sure I...Read More...

Hey Meta, very interesting thread! I've been experiencing a little of what youre describing to a much lesser degree with someone I love as well, but it seems to blindside me til his reassurances help it subside. When I'm going through this, like today actually, I felt both clingy and avoidant st the same time. Like saying, "i love you, I need you" as I pull away. There are definitely triggers though - have you noticed any in your case? Like Xoxo said though, maybe it's a personality trait.Read More...

Hi Tas! I think it would be helpful for both you and your T to let him know what you're going through. Perhaps there are specific triggers he could avoid? I told my T that he fits the basic description of men I used to seek out, which was making my transference worse I guess, but there's nothing he could do about his appearance! I just wanted him to understand where I *think* part of the erotic transference has been coming from. Yaks!! Same here! Posting about it elsewhere though, hope you...Read More...

Thanks Cat. I talked to my regular T a bit about the parts stuff today and my choice to continue with him rather than switch to the parts T. Apparently I had a lot of ground to cover today and he didn't get much of a word in edgewise. Next time I'll ask him more about what he thinks. I think you are right that there seems to be some overlap in approaches and theories, even if the T doesn't strictly do IFS. Your idea about considering the general direction you and the T are going in therapy...Read More...

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement. I appreciate them.Read More...

Eliana: Thank you for your kind words. I think with time, it will get better. TASRead More...

You guys are awesome!! Thank you for all the encouraging words and support! Consider the Lilies-yup, I had stats this past semester and it made me cry too. I've heard just about everyone going into this field has had issues w/stats (my son's T, my T, my two friends that are T's). I am very fortunate that my mom is a math teacher and helped me a ton. I am eternally grateful to her for helping me through that horrible class! I think some of my worrying is about the classes and how I'll do, but...Read More...

TAS here. I don't know how to start a post so I thought I would add to this one. I do feel extremely exhausted right now due to therapy. I have seen this therapist for at least 30 times and the level of DREAD I feel every time I go does not change. I am trying to figure out if this is normal (or no?) I must say he is kind, he listens and does not do anything that would cause ambivalence. I have been thinking of not continuing due to this, I can not seem to overcome it. I would appreciate any...Read More...

((((((YAKU))))) I don't think you are being manipulative. It's not like you are manipulating her into being in a relationship with you. You already are/were in a relationship with her. You just have to draw some emotional boundaries so you can protect yourself. If you are manipulating her, then I'm doing the same with my family. My sister has been living in my basement while she tries to get a job in another state. She keeps talking about us visiting and in my mind, I am thinking that once...Read More...

Hi all...haven't been posting a lot lately, hope some of you still remember me, couse I do keep my fingers crossed for all of you all the time, I ve been monotoring te forum though, just had really rough last six months... Didn't read all the answers yet, however the same thing is happening to me to...I also noticed the pattern when my transferenc is high and then low...For me is like this...One session I can bee really really close to my T and have good session and I let my T in, but then...Read More...

Don't know if this is the same problem, but I've found that if I try to write using the quick post thing (which doesn't open a second window) my browser jumps like crazy. I have to make sure I use the full posting form. As long as I do that, I don't have a problem. I have an iPhone, so my problem may be completely different.Read More...

thank you luci, that gives me hope! puppetRead More...

She doesn't have a PhD. All this is taking place in Germany, and in German (a foreign language to me). It is normal for the therapists over here to have nothing higher than a Bachelor's. She made me sign some shit in German, I don't know what it was. But I told my doctor about my past drinking, to cover my ass, because I knew my therapist would use this as a weapon against me. Nuts.Read More...

Thanks, you are sweet, DR. I fear Ts rejection. I fear his disapproval. I did open up a little today, and did alright, but the man still sees the good in me. Like I said in either the How Youre Feeling or Say Anything threads, he thinks I'm better than I am; he has more faith in me than I do. I don't get it. I don't deserve that. I tried to explain that, but I don't think I was very expressive. Will keep learning and trying! Thanks again, StarryRead More...

Oh that would really throw me! I Skype with my T and she often moves from room to room and everytime I'm like "woah, where are you?!" It throws me off a little but then on her end, she sees me usually sitting in my car but often with a different backdrop in the background. Today, for example, it was very sunny out so I had to drive around to find a tree to get some shade, otherwise she cannot see me. So I ended up at a cemetery and she was like, "is that a tombstone behind your car?!" and I...Read More...

Forgetmenot., I feel so bad for you. The UK health system is very unique, and even though I don't live there, I hate it sometimes...their ostensible devaluation of mental health in comparison with other medical issues. BPD is a serious condition. It was good you were honest and upfront. See, you have so many positive traits. I always thought you were very insightful, and you have many strengths. You really endure a lot of suffering. I think many therapists would love to have you as their...Read More...

Hey everyone and effed, BLT, Lillies, B2W, and Butterfly, thanks for your responses. Good answers that helped. I remembered something I had forgotten, which is that it's not so much the incident itself, but what happened or didn't happen after the incident, and that it depends on the person and the circumstances. I was wondering about whether it is thought of as trauma or not because every time I read about trauma symptoms or trauma reactions or trauma patients or trauma therapies and on and...Read More...

thanks TN. i really appreciate it. take care friend.Read More...

i think this is called somatic re-experiencing. i experience this sometimes regarding being beaten by my dad when i was little.Read More...

((starry)) thank you.Read More...