Ok... So I need to try to just go with it and just feel the shame. Thank you all so much for reassurance. Morgs - You're right. My T thinks however I am is ok, I'm the one who is doubtful! JMB - I'm glad you are learning tears are ok, perhaps I am too. And I'm reassured when you say you don't always know what it's about. It just is, for now, perhaps. Hi Starry - thanks for encouragement. Sometimes bits of this therapy journey feel too scary, which is why it's good to have somewhere like here...Read More...

I like it!!Read More...

Ninn, thank you so much for your compassion and understanding, though I'm sorry that you do understand! I will definitely talk to him, because what was once only yearly has certainly grown exponentially, and is very much related to needing an outlet for feelings that overwhelm me. I first began seeing him for self-sabotaging behaviors, so combined with the other things that come to light, this may not surprise him! Thank you for sharing your experience, and for the encouragement. Hugs, StarryRead More...

So... I emailed her about it... And she emailed back- She was gracious and open as always about how "I'm the expert" and how if it doesn't resonate with me, it may not be the answer etc... And now I feel like a toolRead More...

It is really important for you and I would definitely ask any potential T's what their policy is. Someone posted a list of questions to ask potential T's a while back - maybe search for that and it might have some other ideas for you. Good luck. I am so sorry your T is retiring - that is one of my worst fears. SomedaysRead More...

Thank you for your thoughts and sharing your stories, All. I'm looking forward to my meeting with my T/mentor this week. It couldn't come soon enough as the last week has been rather hellish in some ways. I'm not sure what type of mood I'll be in when I get to T's office. I might still be in angry/fighter mode from dealing w/my ex's latest s**t. Or I might be in my optimistic "this doesn't phase me and I can handle it mode". I seem to be vacillating between those two lately. Sometimes I wish...Read More...

Sorry. This must be confusing. It's good if your T can help you. But, I have found a very helpful T at a much lower price, personally. When we were paying out of pocket, it did end up being over $1,000 a month, but once we switched to insurance, it was much less. It doesn't seem like you have an intense attachment where it actually is extremely painful to leave this T, as you are OK looking around. Not that you WANT to leave him, but it doesn't feel like life or death if I'm understanding...Read More...

Wow, TN, sorry to interject here, but your insurance company pays him $80.00? Mine pays my T $55.00. If you don't mind telling me what insurance company you are with and what plan. You can PM me if you like. My copay is $30.00 so your T is making out like a bandit compared to my T.Read More...

you guys are so awesome and supportive. held, yaku, ninn, liese and blt all said some really wonderful and helpful things. so far things are working out well and my reassurance that my being in therapy doesnt preclude having a nice life together has been well accepted.Read More...

Ouch! I'm sorry- I hope your T is printing the emails before deleting them, as they should be part of your file I would think, especially if they contain things pertaining to therapy?Read More...

((((KANSAS))))) Just checking in on you. You've been quiet. How is it going? LieseRead More...

Effed... that's exactly what I felt like when I saw my T, and it really scared me, because of everyone in my life, on my support team, T is the only one I can not live without. At least not yet (nor anytime in the distant future, either.) I didn't hear it as an ultimatum and I know it wasn't a threat, it is T putting things into my hands, holding me accountable for my own work. T's said it before - I have to do the work, I have to make the effort, I have to WANT to do this (more than just...Read More...

Hi BTW What a hard predicament for you, and how tough to only allow free treatment to those that had their events occur in that one country. I am so sorry and can see exactly why you would pay to have someone listen, qualified or not I am glad that you can get some support from the forum here, I know this isn't the same as a real life hug, but winging one over to wherever you are starfishyRead More...

effed - I was back and forth with that thought yesterday....thinking I would show her gow vulnerable a can be and I need her and then getting so pissed off and just telling her I'm done! Yeah, that's the old defense kicking in - dump her before she dumps me. I even had myself convinced at one point that she's dropping my insurance to get rid of me. I know that's not true - but the subconscious inner score card I've been hanging onto tells me so. I'm going to try to go in next week and really...Read More...

I wouldn't pay 1/4 of my income - but it would be impossible for me to with all of my other financial obligations. Do you have a lot if other monthly financial obligations? Would the money be taken from somewhere elsevthat is necessary? If you don't have other necessities and you need this T, you might want to consider it. My T is dropping my insurance company and evenvat $2600 a year for bi-monthly appointments I can't do that because my budget is so stretched. It's a real bemmer, this...Read More...

((((DAROCK))))) You are in such a difficult place and I don't envy you one little bit. You have an incredibly difficult decision to make but you can always go back to him when your financial situation improves. Maybe it'll help you cope with it better if you don't look at it like a potentially permanent thing. I personally don't think it was right or fair of him to tell you to go into debt. I don't think anyone should go into debt if they don't have to. Suze Orman would tell you that you...Read More...

Keep hanging in there and by no means are you going to end with your regular T. Some kind of misunderstanding happened but it should be fixable. Sorry it's so hard JD. You're doing great still!Read More...

hi DaRock it's one thing for your T to be holding his boundary about fee-setting, which is his right, it's another for him to be assessing your financial situation and your likelihood of being in debt years down the road. It would be ridiculous for *anyone* to draw any conclusions about your future ability to pay off debt. He's a therapist, not an oracle. ROFL!! This is very astute. I am going to go on a limb here and assume you're American? Unfortunately for us, we live in a society where...Read More...

(((((KANSAS)))))) So glad you went and everything turned out okay. LieseRead More...

Well, it has varied over the course of treatment, but yesterday I had a photo tucked in the back pocket of my journal and I got it out to share with T. Talked 1 minute about it and then I got up to leave.Read More...

Well it went okay, but I feel like I really f'ed up the entire experience. I did exactly what I expected which was discuss how I felt it would be a clinical market, etc, some of the things I wrote here. It was such an emotionally devoid experience even though my T reacted wonderfully. I think she was trying to match me she didn't really react strongly, though like I said I couldn't really share compassionately with her it was a 'here it is, I'm sure your clients give you stuff constantly, I...Read More...

It has taken a while to get all that info from my questions. 1. He has a new partner and is separated from his wife. 2. He has two kids a boy and a girl ages 13 and 15 3. He played the trumpet as a young boy and his sister played the cornet. He also had piano lessons. 4. I know how old he is (53) and I know his birthday too. Dead chuffed with myself. He told me all of this. I even asked him last summer WHY he no longer is with his previous wife/partner and he told. Confidentially. Gosh. TMI...Read More...

I've certainly been fleeing from the feelings at least. Ive spent a week sitting on the sofa eating junk food and reliving old hurts. Before dragging myself up and trying to figure out why it hurts so much. Been reading lots of stories on here of therapists moving away and realised I didn't have any of those terrible feelings of loss until I tried to move on. Then I was literally shaking in the first session with group T. Which probably didn't help me to like her. But I stuck it out (put...Read More...

My t doesn't have a wedding ring and ive seen her out walking around in town twice and she's not with a partner. it makes me feel better unfortunately, that i can safely assume that she is not with someone but this is just an assumption of course. she could well be in a very happy relationship. i dont knwo what i would do if i found out she was with someone. id be very sad and jealous. definitely jealous. and very wishful. there is a hefty amount of pain incorporated within all this *sigh*.Read More...

My T also has a notebook she has out during our sessions... and every now and then when something rather big gets discussed, she will write something down...But, she always seems to recall specifics from emails and previous sessions - So my assumption is that she takes notes on the session afterward, and possibly reviews notes prior to sessions. Perhaps it's just challenging to think that she'd actually retain all that information about me, things I've said, reactions I've had etc without...Read More...