Oh, yeah, talk to NewT about it because I'm just speculating here. I have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about. Only can try to relate your experience to mine. Glad NewT is supportive. That's great. Liese Done quite a bit of head banging myself.Read More...

Yes, Yes, I have this type of thing too. I've had it ever since I can remember. During elementary school tv's buzzing in the next room would bother me. Florescent light bulb buzzes and other children and their noises irritated me as well. As I got older I could control it a bit more unless I was under a lot stress and then things would get to me again. I can't wear wool either. My entire family has issues with fabrics/textures, sights and sounds. Just the other day I visited my children for...Read More...

i have lots of self-worth issues too i've learned... planting little seeds of self compassion, grows in to love eventually. every time you're gentle with yourself you water those things, every time you judge you take away the sun...and the growth slows down. that's been my experience so far. right now i have a tiny little ugly looking twig thing popping out of the ground but... hoping to have a tree for myself. it is as others have said, super long... super slow... super hard over the past...Read More...

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Hi Closed Doors, I made the mistake of reading into my T's intentions, thinking he was using all kinds of techniques on me when in fact, he wasn't. Best thing to do is not to assume anything and just be straight up with him. Hope it goes well on Friday. LieseRead More...

Hi all. I journal, when I need to, whenever I need to, but not to prepare for a therapy session (which I have M & W). Then when I get to therapy, I usually have 10 minutes to look over my journal and see where my thoughts were, what happened during that time, and then I at least know where to start. When I am depressed or highly anxious, that doesn't work. Now that I'm on meds again, it is so much easier to talk. I barely sit in silence, now. Sometimes my T starts with, "What do you want...Read More...

Hope you are feeling better today. Sounds cheesy, but I like to listen to the saddest music I can find. Johnny Cash, Radiohead, Mozart's Requiem mass, Frank Sinatra's "One for my Baby, and One for the Road", etc..it's very personal. Not to smother with advice, but a very healing "project" that I did when I was having one of those nights- I posted my "top ten sad songs" on Facebook. And just listened to the songs till I got swept up in it and cried and it wore me out, and I eventually feel...Read More...

I had never really considered doing this until recently. Boundaries with my T aren't something we sat down and laid out as "these are the rules about being here"...they've just kindof come out as has been necessary. The first time we had a hard session, she told me I could call/email between sessions. The first holiday that passed since I had started going, she gave me a hug. And the first time I felt like I really needed one, I felt like I could ask for one because of that (this has only...Read More...

((((ORBIT)))) I'm glad you were able to tell her how you were feeling but I'm also glad she is able to give you more support. That's the best news I heard in a while. You are in good hands. Maybe you didn't feel like you deserved more support and thought your only option was to quit? LieseRead More...

Lady Grey: I am glad you found it touching, I am deeply touched by it. I find it has thrown me rather - that he so clearly cares about me so much. JenDark: Yes, it is wonderful to be able to record sessions. I often hear so much later - things I did not or could not hear at the time. And to hear his kind voice, sometimes that just gets me through a really difficult time. He is sort of there for me, all over again. I just wanted to add the bit he says about a baby's needs as it is applicable...Read More...

((((((lg))))))) It's so good to hear from you. It sounds like the bond and the emotions between you and your T goes really deep... thinking of you, janeRead More...

Hi Jane, One of the biggest needs that any of us has is to be listened to and heard. You are scared of hearing yourself in case you can't meet all of your own needs. But simply in listening and hearing - even just a little at a time - you will be already meeting a need. Needs don't come in all or nothing... we eat a little bit of food and it nourishes us, even if we don't get the whole feast at once - which maybe our tummies couldn't handle anyway. xxJRead More...

Re: Vanishing selfRead More...

Not only did I invite my three previous T's to my wedding, but they all came and one even did the ceremony and some years later invited me to hers.Read More...

(((LAURA))) You did really well. I think you are right that I took him off the pedestal. He isn't very familiar working through the transference. I am his guinea pig. And so, that could have to do with his youth, his inexperience. The fakeness of his teeth, maybe that has to do with how I struggle with the relationship, is it fake or is it real? I think in my life, I seem to enjoy learning from an older experienced male. It's a pattern I've repeated over and over, enjoying relationships with...Read More...

Hi AG & Echoes, AG, I found the following interview interesting and this is what Howard Smith MD(author and psychotherapist) had to say. Duel relationships (which is what I'm seeking)are confusing, but the amount of information on the subject is mind-boggling. This is part of the interview about Dual relationships: Question: What do the professional boards and codes of ethics say about dual relationships? Aren’t they pretty much forbidden? Reply: I thought that, too. Then I went on the...Read More...

I myself know that if I put impossibly high standards on others, it usually comes back to bite ME somehow. I prefer to give myself and others a little bit of room to breathe- or life gets too stressful. Shit does happen. I have been on both sides. I have messed up, (not often) both personally and professionally, and probably will again at some point in the future. That said, it can still suck to look forward to a session only to have it not come to pass. I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you,...Read More...

I haven't taken the time to read the article, but I will soon. Thank you for posting this, Kansas! I have stumbled upon another website about dual relationships and boundaries... http://www.zurinstitute.com/outofoffice.html I have researched this recently as I've gotten the feeling that my T doesn't have strict boundaries with me. She's pretty open about her life. At our last session I asked if we were terminating due to my insurance and my last assignment. T said that the assignment she...Read More...

I forgot to mention one thing: According to the consult T: (he agreed with me and may write a blog about it) There is a world of difference between telling someone that they "tend to be sensitive" (AND that we ALL do that at some point) and that "we ARE easily offended". The latter is not a constructive thing to say to another person in any context. Thanks again!Read More...

Liese, I think projective identification would suggest that someone is provoking their emotions in another person and the person didn't have those emotions at all. I would imagine that in your case both you and your husband have emotions that resonate with each other not projected. I also think to recognize projective identification a person would have to very aware of their own reactions and emotions in order to recognize someone else's emotions. When I read about projective identification...Read More...

Thanks for your replies r2g and ninn sorry you have had to feel this way as well. r2g I've spoke to my t about waiting for her ulterior motives her answer was that her caring is unconditional sometimes i just wish she would agree with my warped perceptions of how bad i am and save me the energy of having to turn everything she says into the complete opposite so i don't have to have this attachment agony. (((ninn)) I'm quite sure you do deserve to be loved. how do you get to the point of...Read More...

That's what happened to me. I wasn't really out of it and didn't really process what had happened until later. Now my T is out of country for 3 weeks with no contact and I'm feeling a bit anxiety-prone.Read More...

Just in my last session T asked if I wanted to draw I have before and it has gone okay - the busting out the crayons stuff doesn't bug me because my inner kid is always around and I draw, color, paint and do other art stuff all the time (Im really visual) one of my Ts told me once I am an extremely playful adult and a lot of adults aren't that playful. I get the same type of comment from others and it's not meant as "childish". Hard to explain but...I think every adult should color and draw...Read More...

(((((DGUOM))))) So glad you are feeling better. It can be such a scary process, especially when you have to go through it alone. Let us know how it goes this week. LieseRead More...

(((Raven))) Thank you for sharing. You never have to earn the right to offer support. I am nearly clueless all the time. I appreciate everyone who supports, no matter if they can offer advice or a hug or their own experiences. I'm sorry you have a similar experience with your own family. I know I am still in a lot of pain over my failure to protect my siblings in more way than one. I'm sorry they are angry at you, but I hope someday they can understand you were modeling doing something...Read More...