I think there could be a lot of truth in this statement. The intensity of having an unmet need on such a deep level could end up going in so many directions (intensity in relationships, intensity in trying to succeed compulsively, intensity in self-destructive behaviors) but in the end they can all point to the same place.Read More...

THAT sounds absolutely lovely. Good on you for bringing it up - and what a wonderful replyRead More...

hi all. Its not like legally binding contract, just like paper agremennt between me and T, what i can and should do if I am ready to do somerhimg that I might regret, like honor agreement, I know and my T. that no paper can stop suicidal person from killing herself, this was my idea in nov and has worked for me, i have it on paper that my T cares, amd sometimes I need to know that someone cares about me, it has anyway helped me, but like I said its not bissness deal and it not about...Read More...

Thnk u so much echoes and eevrybody. Im thinking of starting to email my T when im really overwhelmed..as therapy continues..its getting harder and harder to cope. Thank u so much for caring...sorry it took me so long to respond!Read More...

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HI Butterfly, I wanted to reply last night but didn't know what to say. You got so many good thoughts up above that I don't have anything to add. I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry you are struggling with your NewT although I am glad you tried again. LieseRead More...

Good read, thanks Muff!Read More...

It would be strange if he didn't tell me where he was going-it's not his style. He is very open. On the other hand, if he was more of a blank state therapist, maybe it would seem normal. Non-disclosure can be a good way for a patient to express feeling and thoughts about the relationship, with all those blanks to 'fill in' with one's own fantasies, thoughts, feelings...It depends on your issues and the therapist's style, perhaps modality. I usually get crabby with him when he goes on...Read More...

(((((imagination)))) It's nice to meet you. You sound so incredibly mature and on top of things for someone your age who has been through what you have been through. I don't think you've done anything wrong although I understand why you would feel that way because I would feel that way too. It sounds like she was spooked by the suicide and even though I am sure she really cares about you, it sounds like she's struggling really being there emotionally for you. It not that she doesn't care...Read More...

I'm planning on asking my new lawyer for the family stuff about this or getting a referral to someone more knowledgeable on this area of law. Long story really. Not sure how to put it in a nutshell. Been divorced a while, daughter is being alienated by her mother as well as my "dad" (after my mom died the things about him she held in check became too much of a problem and we haven't spoken in over a year) and his wife. Daughter is upset over my not having a relationship with her grandfather...Read More...

forgetmenot, im sorry u have to go through things like this too, thank u though, for helping me feel less alone..it definitely helps me get through the day to know Im not just some nutcase with a wierd problem that nobody else has. I told my T, she said that it was..."emotional flashbacks"..Im not sure exactly ...if I explained them right, but thats what she called them. I just want to thank everybody for their suport <3 thank u so much everybody. You all help me stay strong <3 I have...Read More...

Hey xoxo, thank you so much for that. I think I feel frustrated at why our sessions are capped with me and T. I want to tell her 'well, change it then! Why can't you change it? Why is it so dam hard for you? Were only part way through and I have to leave and you won't do anything about that?' So I guess that's anger. I'm mostly sad though. Right now anyway. Sad and confused. Lol. But there is clarity happening, slowly, slowly. This clarity has only started happening recently. Well..when T...Read More...

I've never heard of this term but seems to fit me in many ways. I know I have too high of expectations and judge others mercilessly. However, at times I also feel like I let a lot of flaws "pass" because I don't want to lose the friends I do have that care about me. I find myself judging them in my mind and picking out all their flaws as if to add to my inner score card of why they will let me down and reject me. Yet, in person, I ignore the things that bother me - I think almost to a fault.Read More...

dont know if u got my message but thkn u for ur concern. im getting thru the day *hugs* hope ur doing okRead More...

Jane somehow I have the impression you are in New York State. Are you familiar with real estate laws there? I think he has to give you 30 days notice. If its not in the contract I don't think he can evict you for something that is not in the initial agreement. LKRead More...

Liese, Exactly! This thing caught me off guard. Damn external validation, damn trust issues, sucks when they come together like this to cause pain... Thanks so much!Read More...

you bet liese. thanks for your warm support. all the best to you. enjoy your weekend.Read More...

Hi DGUOM I can only talk a bit about t reading stuff in session, we did this quite a lot in the beginning because there was so much i couldn't say. At first it was a bit weird at first, to see her read stuff, I used to look at the floor a lot to get over that. Then i got more used to her doing it and even managed to get to the stage where i could tell t whether i wanted her to read it to herself or out loud or even read it after the session so we could try talking next time. overall it...Read More...

just saw this thread, Yaku and wanted to say that I am thinking of you and hoping that things work out. I think I have always tried to see therapy as a good investment and found a way to borrow if necessary to get through it. In the future when you are working more, you can easily pay back the money you might need to pay for therapy art therapy etc now. Sending moreRead More...

Cat - I am constantly apologizing, and T is there for me and has reminded me many times that nothing is off topic or too much to discuss. I'm the dolt that reads into things too much, and then end up tripping over myself to apologize! (I too, tend to overdo the apologies when things really get stressful for me, so I can relate to that!) Jane - I think I'm getting closer to ok with the med situation. I have already succumbed to the fact that I'll likely need anti-depressants the rest of my...Read More...

(((Jane)))Read More...

Amen, sister!Read More...

wow. thank u for ur responses. Thnk u for helping me understand why this is hapening to me. I dont remember feeling like that all the time when I was little, doing that *deperson* thing, but I do remember it happening a few times, strangely, when nothing was happening...I remember it happening at school once. That blog post u posted was so helpful. I cant believe how it described things so wel and put the pieces together for me. Sometimes I need people to tel me things so I can believe them,...Read More...