I don't kow if my T has noticed, but I do definitely think my voice has changed literally and figuratively. I think because I had to grow up so quickly, I had like a very mature sounding voice when I was in elementary school (on the phone people used to confuse me for my mom or my sisters). Because of therapy, I noticed my voice has gotten somewhat softer and lighter and less harsh. In a figurative way, I've been able to speak my mind more and stand up for myself and not let people walk all...Read More...

Thank you both It was a very good first session. I felt comfortable and was able to open up. She asked pertinent questions and came up with some interesting insights. She has an approach which appeals to me. She's a Jungian so related my life story to mythology, archetypes and the collective unconscious. This might put some off but I think it could be right up my street! But generally I feel very positive about it and hope I've found someone who can help me with the next few steps of my...Read More...

your T is most likely trying to urge you to explore your transference towards him/her. that is what is most helpful about therapy. so if you arent forthcoming with that info regarding your feelings towards the T, they may dig a bit and try to find connections to draw it out of you. but perhaps the T should be telling you thats what they are trying to do? if you're confused say so to your T. if the explanation makes sense thats great. if not, keep trying to understand why they do it but most...Read More...

Hi DGUOM, I am really sorry for all the pain that you have had to suffer. It can take a long time to trust a T with your deepest pain. Would you be able to perhaps tell her that you have some things that you really need to tell her but you are scared of what the consequences might be and see how she reacts. I know T's are bound by certain ethics but maybe she might be able to ease your worries a little by explaining how she works when certain things are disclosed. It might also give your T a...Read More...

That was a lovely story. Your T sounds really nice! I wish all therapists were open minded about the concept of hugs. I have a friend who is in therapy right now and he has a very scared, inner child that comes out quite often. He says that to help him heal, all his inner child wants is a heartfelt hug, something he didn't get much when he was younger. It frustrates him that his therapist does not do touch. I think touch should be initiated or considered when the patient is known to the...Read More...

Hi Curious! *waves* I can totally relate to you in how you feel about your T. I started to feel that way towards the end of the school semester and I just felt this overwhelming need to give something to my T. In the end, I gave her a simple but cute card just letting her know how much I appreciate her and everything she's done for me. It wasn't anything big, but she was so thankful for my small gesture and said that it reassured her that she really does make a difference. I think small...Read More...

I used to be in a stunned state of shock when, seemingly out of the blue - My world would crash down on top of me the day/night/next day after my session. Every time I'd be confused about this, the answer from my T is always the same 'It makes sense'. Instead of finding this frustrating, I actually take a lot of solace in it - As the one of us who -should- understand the process, does. I'm generally in the habit of sending an email if the 'truth' that settles with me seems particularly...Read More...

Muff - Are you new to therapy? I'd never used one prior to starting either. AG - Thanks very much! It was my 30th, a fairly big one...And happened to fall on our new appointment day (my schedule keeps changing with the new job, and she keeps accommodating me). It wasn't until the end of the session when she asked about my weekend plans and I mentioned a maid appointment later that afternoon because I 'didn't want to clean my house on my birthday'... that my T actually knew it was my...Read More...

Sorry bit late here but yes do delete to protect people. If I ever post a long post and I want to keep it, I save it before I post it - I am over 40 and my memory is poor so I sometimes want to go back and see what I said. Useful to save actually because it sometimes shows how we grow and change our mindRead More...

(((((HIC)))) This is going to be short but I'm so glad T read the blog and the comments. She sounds terrific. I'm really glad she came through for you. LieseRead More...

That would make me feel safer...but I'd feel bad, like there was a special club.Read More...

((((JANE)))) So glad you are home safe and sound and you survived without resorting to your old coping mechanisms. much hugs to you, xoxo LieseRead More...

went back to the posts earlier this month in regards to rage and anger etc... you put it so well, LL. I want to say hang in there like some of the others have done, but I'm a step behind you on this one. Right behind you. Glad you are here, glad you have a T that works well with anger. Sorry about my long-winded replies.Read More...

I think that's an awesome letter, it says it all and it's to the point and direct. If I were a T I would love to get a letter like that, because it makes what you are dealing with clear! go for it! I hope it went well.. Welcome here, by the way, sorry so late, my computer has been not working off and on. BBRead More...

Hi Liese, Thanks for your reply! It's nice to be back on the forums a bit, though I'm easily triggered so I'm still laying a bit low and being careful what I read Turns out that I never got the chance to even acknowledge the one year mark. A whole lot of stuff is going down right now, and we've been otherwise occupied. I think it may end up being a passing thought, a noted observation when things calm down. The whole story is posted in sensitive issues if you want the update. Hope you are...Read More...

Athenacus, I am extremely impressed with all you are doing (you had at me single mother. Parenting is hard enough to do with two people involved). I think continuing as long as you can trusting that things will open up sounds like a good plan. Even if it takes longer than you anticipate, I love what Raven said about it being worth it when you get there. And 43 is still pretty young. A lot of good years left. And you're children will be able to see an example of someone working hard to...Read More...

Hmmm...I've never heard of mental imagery. I'll have to look it up. What of read of motivational interviewing, I can see aspects that my T does. She listens and empathizes, but has me do the talking and come to conclusions on my own - week, with her gentle questioning. If I go to an intellectual mindset, she totally steers me away from that. The thing I don't think I like about it is it stays completely in the present feelings and she always says she doesn't worry about my past or memories,...Read More...

Thank you both for your thoughts, opinion and understanding. You've brought perspective back in my mind. I never thought of it. It is amazing how our mind can't see something when we're caught up elsewhere. Thank you AG for your explanation. It does ring true. She has made a difference and I feel she could take the good feelings out of a whim.Read More...

Thanks Deepie. My T isn't big on labels or diagnosing - she just works with what she has!Read More...

I love all the feedback and variety of answers. I still question so much about myself and my T even after a year. Like forgetmenot said, I wish there was more bantering and such, mine too sits across from me and doesn't say much, but she listens and empathizes. I do like her, but I don't have anything to really compare her to. I hear others talk about hugs and emailing and all, and wonder if I would like that. I still look for any sign that she's going to dump me. And at the same time I cow...Read More...

thank you xoxo! I like your name too. Mine is a wisdom/warrior name. :-) Before I even started therapy I had been reading about humanistic theory, but not realizing it at the time. I think that's one of those things that helped T and I click. She uses an eclectic approach, so that might be why from time to time things go differently in session. Coded stories....she'll use her pets or her relationships with her pets or others to illustrate things to me or to compare something that's going on...Read More...

((((BB))))) I'm sorry you are feeling so down about Cowboy T. I don't know if I missed what happened to your appointments. What happened? Did you take a break back in October and he hasn't been able to fit you back in? BB, it's important to know that he cares. You need to talk to him how all this screwing around with the appointments makes you feel like he thinks you are boring, etc. etc. Oh, BB, I prattled on for years with my T and he just listened. He waited until I was ready. Until I...Read More...

I have ruptures with both of my Ts and they've all worked out just fine in the end. In the ruptures with T1, I tend to get wayyyyy more upset and affected by it than she does. I had a rupture one time with her that was so upsetting that I asked her to please call me before she left town for vacation, so she did and it was at midnight when she finally called me and she had been drinking I think and yelled at me and then got really emotional. It was an intesnse conversation, but it got worked...Read More...

Hello All! This "boundary template" is the only thing that my T would respond to. It worked quite well! He calls his technique "bashing" and between us, I won't let anyone talk to me that way and decided to establish a clear boundary. I have also begun to realize that my T and I BOTH are very headstrong and (fairly) intelligent and have a strong desire to be RIGHT. That is helpful information. But so is knowing that there are bad therapists out there, some very narcissistic types out there,...Read More...