Hi Heldincompassion! Agreed. Everything you mentioned, put together, sounds like a very nice balance.Read More...

I can't really say for sure, Da Rock. i'm still tempted to go back to him, ask for a session. The only thing that I can say for sure, is that I am doing better since I left hm. Marginally better. But better. and with things the way tehy were...anything is an improvement.Read More...

Wow! I felt good reading this, and I'm not sure what to say! Thank you againRead More...

Thanks xoxo, That was nice! Hey, my Mom started me in school early too. So, I was the youngest in my family and the youngest in school and always felt as though I missed out on lots of stuff, jokes, etc. It seems like a really nice office and as T and I have discussed, I'm not going to focus on making friends. Just doing my job and being friendly to everyone. At that office, after that woman left, another group of attorneys came in and I was not a part of their group either. My boss was...Read More...

((((DF))))) It's almost as if the buildup to sharing the time line was so strong and so powerful, that anything else time-line related won't have that same feeling of... maybe satisfaction? Don't think that's the right word, but it's all I can find right now. I tend to over intellectualize when I redo things, to the point where my T has repeatedly asked me NOT to edit the journal entries I share with her, because I edit out all the feeling. The more I read over an entry or a letter I plan on...Read More...

I think that makes sense, DR. I'm sorry you had to deal with that :-( I hope you get to experience something different in the future!Read More...

As I said in my recent other post regarding timekeeping, my T has a timer that BEEPS LOUD at 20 min.left, 10 min.left, and end of session. I kind of forget about it in between and it startles me each time! After the final beep she slides to the edge of her chair, closes my file and ends us in prayer. She usually stands first and goes to the door while I am getting my bag together. She pats me on the back and says "bye!". Sometimes I'm not out the door before she is calling the next person in...Read More...

Hey LL--She didn't say why, but the implied undertone I felt in the situation was that she feels that new P is a better P in general. I think pressuring me to switch might have been an instance of her getting a little too personally invested in my care for a minute, kind of mom-ing me rather than being impartial. She shows care in small indirect ways like this. She doesn't hug/touch (with me anyway, no idea about others), or say she cares (I've never asked), but she'll say some current event...Read More...

Thanks Liese, I keep reminding myself that this holiday season will soon pass too...just like the othersRead More...

Update: Deepie your advice was spot on. T agreed that for people like me I need to be super relaxed and calm before I can start to imprint a safe place in my mind and she said that yes I will need to practice and practice to get the peaceful feelings to be associated with it. I downloaded a mp3 recording of some breathing mindfulness to do when i sit at my special place. I also looked at some things on youtube to help me as well as reading about it. I just need to keep trying.Read More...

Hey Unbroken, Way to go on making a timeline, although I don't doubt how tremendously painful it must have been to see everything you've been through written out. I've never made one. There's a lot of holes still in my memories, so it would be tough because of that, but also because (like Beebs) I don't know if I want to have a really clear picture. I am SO happy for you that you have a supportive T and that you're feeling more connected than ever. How fantastic. Just take things at your own...Read More...

Blanket Girl, thank you for posting links to my blogs. I stopped in just to say that there is considerable research showing bias about weight among healthcare professionals and no evidence to suggest that mental health professionals are as a group are any different. Many of us who are fat carry those same biases internally and working our way through them is in itself a considerable journey. It takes courage to tell a therapist that of course there are issues that flow from being the object...Read More...

Thanks for the understanding LL. I didn't get an appointment with her this week. The best she could do is next Thursday. I did at least tell her I was upset with her and she expressed surprise at that. Which of course made me mad since she doesn't even recognize that she's left me hanging out here. Grrrr. I won't do anything until I talk to her but I am resigned that this will create a significant breach in our relationship which I don't know can be mended. But thanks for your kind words.Read More...

Good discussions came of this, and she clearly wasn't frustrated with it at all... The logical adult in me knew that. I just wish I could convince the rest of me sometimes. Things would be so much easier. I have hated my job for a long time, and finally took the leap to accept another position and quit. It felt great! Except... Now I realize this is going to mess with my schedule with my T. I emailed explaining this as soon as I knew - Apologizing for the inconvenience. She replied right...Read More...

Hi Quell, Really up to you where you post it. You could put it in Personal Story, Questions or Coffee Talk. Substance Abuse also springs to mind. Any of those forums would be fine. A trigger warning would be good wherever you post it. The forum categories, with the exception of Chit Chat, aren't really hard and fast rules. The point is more that people can use the categories to find what they're looking for. The only reason Chit Chat is an exception is that we try to keep this trigger free...Read More...

Hi Navyme, I text with my T every day at least once, though usually 2-3 times and sometimes many, many more times. At one point I was wishing we'd never started the texting to begin with because it started to feel like I was texting her all day and was so wrapped up in waiting for her reply. However, now that I have more going on my life now, I find that I text less often and I do not seem as consumed with waiting for her replies. We have also emailed, though we rarely do that because she is...Read More...

that's the best compliment i've heard in a long time! thank you i also get a more at peace vibe from you and it seems like you've been doing great work with your T! hugs, puppetRead More...

Hmm the first test, in respect to romantic relationships, was way off. But in respect to friendships, because I keep myself at a distance anyway, I was in the top left box. Secure. The second one my scores for my parents were almost off the chart on the dismissive/avoidance section. Makes sense really, I don't tell my parents anything about what goes on with me anymore. I'm quite superstitious about telling them because of they're expectations of me. Anxious-preoccupied with romantic...Read More...

Yaku, thank you, I was thinking a lot about *just* having T record a message for me. I'm feeling weird, like I wouldn't want to talk openly knowing I was *recording* it. STRM, thank you for your support. It helps to know other T's *allow* the recording. Cipher, I think I'd be like you, not necessarily doing anything else constructive if at the time I need to be listening to T's voice. Thank you for input, it helps. Starfishy, I think, because like you said it would be weird at first, I might...Read More...

Hi Beauty, Thanks for sharing your poem. I wish that I could start writing poetry. I used to when I was younger. I also want to acknowledge you for starting to work on this grief. I understand what you are feeling. This Monday will be the fourth year since my son died. He was 20. Thanks to you, I might try some poetry tonight.Read More...

Hi Hollywood (Nice name change!) I think you're correct, in that building a trusting, safe relationship is imperative before doing any deep trauma work, but often the work moves back and forth between trust building and trauma work. XOXO (UV) answered a similar question in another thread and I thought her answer was an excellent description of what needs to happen, so I'm just going to link to it below. Could be blocking work As for the fear of leaving, that is one that I really struggled...Read More...

I know...right? It's like a lose lose situation....Read More...

Thanks LieseRead More...

Thanks DeepFried, you had the write post. Thanks AG for your response.Read More...

Hey Liese, I'm glad you were able to identify with what I said, sometimes the internal snowball can feel like you're very alone in feeling that way... Would you be able to explain what a 'rupture' with your T means?Read More...