Hi HIC, I just wanted to comment on the money aspect. My T allows both phone calls and emails between sessions and has never charged me for either. He considers it part of the service. My usual phone calls are around 2-3 minutes. A really long call runs 10 and my longest ever was 15. When I stopped going regularly (I 'ended' evidently didn't take too well ) I asked about his contact policy and he told me that nothing would change, he was still my therapist and I could call or email anytime.Read More...

Hi Inis, I hope you won't be offended but your subject line made me laugh. Not laughing at you, just the fact that T's have this stereotype for a reason, eh? My T is not a frequent head nodder, only occasionally does she do it. When she does do it, however, its usually accompanied by a tight-lipped smile as though she's trying to suppress her thoughts from being known, even though obviously I said something that she found to be funny or ironic. I can't quite imagine what she looks like...Read More...

Hi Liese, Nice to meet you too. Where is your name from? Ah yes the word 'nothing'. I guess one can always make something out of nothing. We talked today about it. She mentioned that I must be willing to express myself in any way I wish for the therapy to work. I kept telling her that I never want to get angry at her. She asked why and I said 'because you are nice and I don't want to make you angry'. She was nice about it. However I am so sensitive that I might be willing to become very...Read More...

There's a whole description as to what each interval on the scale means as far as functioning goes..I can post it if you like. It's also readily available on Wikipedia and stuff. I range from probably around 41-60, sometimes on the lower end of that (like right now), sometimes on the higher end. You'll get to that upper range, Liese. And you're right, all that matters is getting to the point where you're content where you are. Maybe people in the upper 90's are too happy.Read More...

hi BG, i think that's a good idea to focus on forgiving yourself and i love what you wrote : i think that's so powerful and makes me start to look at forgiveness from a different perspective. AG, thank you for your words of wisdom and especially for your very moving story. the second book you mentioned looks very interesting, i might look into it! which shows that i'm definetely more at the not forgiving end of the spectrum, but I'm ok with that. everyone's replies really helped me to look...Read More...

Thanks BB and LG. I agree with both of you. Thanks to all for the much needed support!Read More...

Hey heldincompassion, No problem. Thanks for your lovely post. I'm in a very mixed state of confusion at the moment. I've been lately feeling that I live in a variety of subtle masks that are tailor made to fit the world and for each person too. My childhood ups and downs were absolutely normal from aged 0. So I often find it very hard to understand emotions. Sometimes I really nitpick and ask friends what it 'feels' like to feel this or be inspired etc. I've had a grueling 2 weeks and I...Read More...

Well, I have been in therapy for about a year. But, mostly during this year I have mostly been "trying out" therapists. I have tried 3 or 4. Wednesday I have an appointment with the first counselor I had seen. I like him (and have always liked him). He had said some insightful things to me. We just had an issue that we could not agree on and he would not let it go. I am hoping that we can work it out this time.Read More...

Hi CNC My T did some CBT on me a while ago to conquer a certain fear I had speaking in public. It was challenging in that I had to: really look at why I felt that fear and behaved how I did; had homework tasks that invariably pushed me a little (note, not too much if not it won't work ....neither will too little ); BUT OMG it really worked! The fear was overcome to a great extent in a matter of a few weeks, I continued to work on it for several months and it has never returned. I would NEVER...Read More...

I saw eq t today and it was a weird session. But good. I think. Towards the end, I told her I sometimes get angry and have no idea what to do with it. I didn't bring up anything about my other T but eq T and I talked abour anger, and she said, "I want you to know, your anger is welcome here." I looked her her funny, and she went on to explain that she used to not be ok with other's anger or her own, and she doesn't have solutions for it... but she has done a lot of work herself on anger, her...Read More...

aw, I am sorry to hear you are feeling so sick. They do say that it is a very good sign for a healthy baby if you are sick a lot, though. It just sucks to endure it! Should go away after the first trimester though. I hope so much that your T will be able to help you calm the anxiety, and that it will help with the sickness. It makes sense that you would be sicker when anxious, cause anxiety just makes every symptom feel worse. Deep breaths! hugs, BBRead More...

Jones and JD thanks. Her statement about empathy is sometimes in response to my asking what she is doing. Sometimes I think she is preempting my question and explaining. I may be so shut down I cannot get it. I am not sure I recognize it from anyone, not just ts. The reason it comes up with ts is because she says it and I have read about and people here seem to like it.Read More...

AG, I figured it out. After you click on "No Avatar", you have to click on "Select This One" and it gives you a blank avatar. Thanks for trying to help. MTFRead More...

Hi All, I am painfully aware of how negatively this is affecting everyone on the forum. I'm sorry as I know it is important this is a safe place. I think that normally discussing our conflict styles is an important thing to do and Jones I appreciate what you said which I think helped to calm things down. But I also think that this thread has gotten very ugly, despite EVERYONE's obvious desire not to escalate this. So I'm going to close this thread and give everyone a chance to take a deep...Read More...

Hemlock thanks - I have read that book. I don't think it will help this situation but I will ask if she has read it. I think I must keep going back to her because I am now just some sort of masochist.Read More...

Thanks BB. We're actually just going to switch insurance companies and so at least I'll get my 30 visits again now and at the beginning of the year again so it shouldn't be an issue for at least 8 months ... and maybe by then I'll have a job and be able to pay for therapy!!!! My H deals with a lot of insurance companies and these "independent" consultants. He said they are always looking to terminate benefits and it's very maddening for him because a lot of his clients can't get the...Read More...

I voted integrative - but my T has a background in Psychodynamic but unusually she also has some Jung training - which I found super helpful. But I know some people don't get on with the slightly spiritual aspect of that - not me though I loved it. She also definitely works with the Bowlby attachment theories. Whatever she's doing though I don't care because it's amazing. TN - totally agree about the feeling it healing rather than any conscious brain working it out.Read More...

I'm so sorry you went through that... so scary and sad Yes, I have been in situations where I could have easily died and was left alone. It is a painful place.Read More...

So proud of you, Jane, and happy your T was able to be close throughout the terror of sharing such hard stuff. Sometimes feeling someone close to you in that experience means more than anything. (((hugs))) and prayers as you continue to face the challenge ahead.Read More...

Well we're in therapy to learn to break the patterns, so don't you even think about taking a break or running! (Where's the emoticon that shakes it's finger at you while the other hand is on its hip and its mouth is going a mile a minute?) I know that might seem like the 'easy' way out of the fear and panic and angst that you feel, but you'll never get through it all if you don't forge ahead and stick it out. I know you know all of this, and I don't know if you're thinking of running again...Read More...

((((((BB))))) thanks for your support. I know you are going through a lot right now. It's different for me not to feel immense fear for the first time in my life. I hope you can find it also with cowboy t. It might take time. But hopefully you will get there. Xoxoxo lieseRead More...

Thanks Morgs and TN- I wish I could offer more right now on here. I just have nothing of value to say about therapy, and I can't really take in the kind words of encouragement about Cowboy appropriately. so I guess that is the real reason I am not around very much. I don't know what I think about it all, or what I feel. There is a big part of me that is very cynical about therapy, and thinks it is a big waste of time and money- but doesn't know what else to do. because of being told...Read More...

Wow, after reading your post MTF, I am motivated to read up on this - I hadn't heard it before. My T - sounds very much like yours. She always brings it back to how my feelings / attachments / thoughts / actions affect current relationships. She uses her and my relationship and a colleague of ours - as a "practice net" and she is always trying to bring my issues back to that relationship - instead of talking about my marriage or specifically to do the blame thing with my childhood family.Read More...