RT I am so very sorry. I know how it feels like the bottom of your world has fallen out and you are in free fall. T wants to see you and getting ill prevented her from keeping her word. Try to remember the good things. How she is there for you other times. How well she understands you. If you have any good emails then go back and read them. If you have a transition object, keep it close. Hold onto the good between you. I know this is hard. I've been there too. Try to keep busy and make some...Read More...

I wish I had known years previous how much a back-up can help when your main t is away. I suffered agony with separation anxiety and even had to go to the emergency room when T went on vacation. I felt I should be loyal, or that it wouldn't do any good to see someone. Phooey on loyalty, I should have helped my own self.Read More...

You know, it's funny... no one has asked me that. Only a select few know I'm doing it. No one has asked me why. Maybe it's obvious that I desperately need it..... :/ I usually only broach the topic with friends who I know are also in therapy. Most of them get.... "it". But yeah... thank God for PsychCafe.Read More...

I read this forum a lot, but don't participate much. I think you are correct to quit and at least try another therapist. I found one, after fighting and fighting and fighting with the first one for about 4 years - the second one has no drama. She takes phone calls and encourages them. She does not demand or insist on her interpretation, but is not wishy washy. She is psychodynamic as is the first one - but it is quite different. I leave not frustrated and enraged and so on. She said that...Read More...

RT and RM come on down! T drives a white toyota with a kids booster seat in the back ! TN thank you so much for your concern for me. It has been an awful transition and I'm not happy about how it has taken place. T will not tell me why. She just keeps saying that she feels that the best way she can help me right now is to help me with my marriage. That is what she is good at and the way in which she can serve me best. I believe she would support me in seeking out another therapist to work...Read More...

Hi VH! It totally makes sense to me! I'm so happy for you that you are feeling and connecting with you. It truly is a gift and you're right - no one can take it away from you. It's realizations like this that help us to persevere during this very difficult process. PFRead More...

I don't often hear the term "activated" used in T school. I think it's specific to certain specialties, such as trauma or body-oriented therapists.Read More...

I think it's great you've talked to him about what happened in Starbucks. It might be you need to keep talking it through - as many times as it takes for it to feel a bit more ok. And that's ok! I'm a health professional (not a T) and I have a lot of clients I work with for months of a year, often more than once over a few years. I often run into ex and current clients in public outside (usually the supermarket!). It happens probably very other week actually. Often I'm really happy to see...Read More...

effed - Thank-you. Yes, it was quite a struggle, and I think we are still working on it. Our approach now is the way these responses have been a pattern in my life. A pattern based on my experiences in childhood - particularly abandonment in this instance. More and more keeps coming out. My connection with T is strong, and we just keep working. I'm glad this was helpful for you. Elsewhere - thanks for commenting. I certainly can't say that I was feeling courage, strength and hope while all...Read More...

Hi Jones, I never thought of it that way. Glad I asked now! Hi Chezza, let's try and remind ourselves and eachother that we our never inadequate and insignificant. Keep posting! loveRead More...

Thank you both! It gave me the courage to send my P my posting (didn't even translate into dutch for him, somehow it was easier to communicate in a foreign language). And I did go this afternoon. It was honest. He understands a little better now. He didn't apologize (but he's the sort of man that would rather die...), but said he could understand my anger and felt somewhat lost for words. And he made a special point of telling me he really did care, even though he never mentioned it. He...Read More...

Thinking of you.Read More...

Effed: Thank you I really hope I can, too. BLT: Yes, it is so very hard to tell them about feelings which have to do with them. UGH. T.Read More...

Hi Rachel, I sure do relate to what you say about not crying. I saw myself where you said it even seems like a contest where T tries to get you to cry so she can say "got ya!" But my T is so sweet and gentle I feel guilty for even thinking she's that way. It probably comes from my past where domineering, mean aunts used to see if they could make me cry, because I was a tough, defiant little gal and wouldn't give them the satisfaction. Just be patient with yourself, Rachel. Crying or not...Read More...

I am trying this today because I am really exhausted and and too tired to worry or obsess. I guess that's kind of cheating but so far I have been successful. Maybe I will learn something.Read More...

erica, good to hear from you. I do love my T and if I LET her, I know she will come closer. It's the letting part that is hard but the other day really helped. I guess, I was a little surprised she revealed that and also surprised that she had a T. She is in her upper 60's and I respect her for still working on herself. It was the first time, after many years with her, that I finally openly cried. Not even when my mom died and I went to see her, did I cry. Funny how little gestures make a...Read More...

you may not always like what you hear from your T (i know i don't!), but it seems to me like he's there for you maybe not in the way you'd want but perhaps in the way you need. you've stuck with him this long. i think your innate knows what it's doing. hugs (((TAS))) it ain't easy by a stretch, but perhaps necessary? depends on you.Read More...

My dreams from my Old T and my New T have always been the same--there are ALWAYS other people sitting in on my therapy sessions and I cannot talk. I have never understood why this dream keeps reoccuring! LJBRead More...

Thanks Veryhopeful, I will come back again and again to this place, even ifonly to read your name (alias).Read More...

Thanks, everyone. I really appreciate your suggestions.Read More...

This is such a tough question to answer. I think if someone were seeing a T for, say, drug addiction or sexual dysfunction, attachment would be unnecessary. However, for people who were hurt in childhood and have attachment issues as a result...perhaps attachment to the T isn't completely necessary for healing, but it's probably going to come up. In that case, I think the necessity of attachment will depend on what the person in therapy needs to work through. I will say this, though:...Read More...

My T has a very long, complicated way to explain this taking about some experiments and resonance, etc... Basically... I think it feels good because it impacts our physiology and promotes our well being as a result. Ever pet an animal and feel better? Ever been afraid at night but thankful you had a pet/human there? I think it feels protective and safe... That we can handle ourselves but if things get tough someone is there. I don't have words to describe emotionally but metaphors I can...Read More...

Cause hash tags are a twitter thing and not really meant for FB I don't know any way of blocking them. I have an old internet acquaintance who's posts I have unsubscribed from. He hasn't hit my instantly unfriend line so he remains on my list for now. There is a little arrow on the rhs of posts in your feed. Use the drop down and it gives you the choice of removing that single post or unfollowing that person. I can definitely see why #yesallwomen has been so triggering. Re: talking about it,...Read More...

Hi Liese... thanks for asking. Things went really well today. I took a few risks and we had a good talk. T was very kind and accepting of me and I am more at peace today. I hope it lasts. I am still processing the session and I hope to post about it tomorrow. Thanks Mallard for your thoughts. I can definitely see that some of what I'm feeling I'm thinking T is also feeling. It gets hard for me to separate the feelings and to make sense of them when I am so activated. Hugs TNRead More...

Thank you for all of your replies. The answer eludes me; perhaps it is not meant to know the whys. It seems one should be given the answers to these questions if they are the ones who have had to endure such things. I don't think this is asking too much.Read More...