It's funny, acupuncture has been recommended to me for my tendonitis, but I never would have thought about it for my eczema. Considering acupuncture keeps coming up, I guess it's time to consider it. It will, however, have to wait a while. I have to go to a nutritionist (first appointment this week) and that costs a small fortune. Since neither the nutritionist (also a registered dietician) and acupuncture are covered by insurance, it's going to take a hefty toll on my bank account. A...Read More...

Thanks, BB. It does help. Right now, I'm feeling like T gets it and want to stay...but, I found out my H was wrong about insurance and we could be saving nearly $6500 a year if I find a new T in our network at my current level of visits... Considering we could lose our condo and my daughter is getting to preschool age, but we can't afford to send her to one...it seems like, how selfish would it be for me to insist on staying with my T, especially considering I keep getting worse, not better?Read More...

Agree with Jane, wholeheartedly, here.Read More...

Thank you to everyone who took some time out to comment, suggest and feedback on this. It was an incredibly hard, moving, emotional session, and my t giving me her little stone heart to look after (I did not ask, she just did) was so moving for me, I guess maybe I got lucky with my t and it did help today to hold it in my hand when I was having a rough day. I deeply appreciated everyone's help on this. "What doesn't break us, makes us stronger" DebsRead More...

Hi Sadly, Today is my first day to post anything. I agree that my need for touch stems from a lack of sensuous touch I did not receive in my infant stage. So while it seems erotic now, I think it's just an infant-like need for union. Since I can't breastfeed or connect easily through touch as an adult woman, I guess that my primitive brain equates union/sensuous touch with sex? Luckily, I don't have a sex-negative view point, so I didn't feel a lot of guilt about the fantasies. But it...Read More...

Hey Kashley...I understand how it feels to think you should be invisible...and also to think that you "shouldn't" hav any insight, especially on things psychological with a psychologist. I have the smae issue. It comes out everywhere. I "shouldn't have any insight on things spiritual with my SD...either, even though- I DO. I am somehow silenced. There is a gag order on me, and I have no idea where it came from...it dounds like you deal with the same issue. I'm wondering how your session...Read More...

Can totally relate. Hope you are able to get back on a regular sleep schedule soon.Read More...

Some actual names (well, more like nicknames like you would call a young child, e.g. finding out Kiddo is only one specific state, rather than all the kid parts like I've been using it) floating up again, but I still just don't feel comfortable with it...and parts of me feel pissed off about that. And, I am feeling completely ridiculous and punishing responses to this. WTF! Seriously...am I not going crazy? Because it feels like I'm losing it here...Read More...

Edit: Thanks for the info. I talked with my insurance, they helped to ease some of my worry about it all. The treatment plan is just a form they have for the T to fill out. I guess I sort of messed up by going to an out of network provider. I just never thought I'd claim it on my insurance. If I wasn't so attached to my T, lol, I might think about switching.Read More...

It's good to hear from you. I'm so sorry you are feeling so down. I hope things get better for you soon. Depression is a tough monster to deal with. Yeah, the relationship part is tough and messy. In most therapies, there are different levels of structure and some are more... I guess you could say formulaic, and others are much looser. They have done studies about what works the best, and again and again, they say the theraputic relationship is the best predictor of therapy working to change...Read More...

Hi Rebuilding, Welcome to the forums! I'm really glad that reading here has helped you decide how to handle your feelings and given you the courage to speak about them to your T. I remember having all the same fears about speaking up to my T (who at the time my husband and I were seeing for marital counseling, he was actually my husband's T originally.) He didn't do any of what I was worried about. Actually he was very understanding and accepting of my feelings and very glad that I had...Read More...

Hi STRM, Writing a letter is definitely a possibility. Maybe even without the conversation. I have a draft of a letter that I wrote to her mostly for myself but could potentially send to her. I'm traveling this week (big trigger for me), so I have decided to wait until after this trip to do anything about the situation, just to decrease the amount of stress. But after this trip, I think I really do need to contact her. I am pretty sure I will just call ahead and leave the I want to get...Read More...

Thanks everyone for the responses. It helps a lot to know I'm not alone in this. I used to have really bad "learned insomina" where I had problems falling alseep. It was awful... I have boughts of insomina now and then, but they usually end within a week or so. I've never really struggled with waking up so early so much. It's really wearing me out. My only symptoms of depression are being a bit more tearful that normal and waking up at 2am every night. I'm tired as can be, and yet I wake up...Read More...

Thanks, Liese. It's so hard to tell if H actually IS feeling threatened or I am just projecting that onto him, since it is how I would feel if our situations were reversed. It could be he is just teasing me, because he can tell it gets to me. He does that all the time, given pretty much any opportunity. It's like a little boy pulling a girl's hair...Read More...

thanks everyone I touched on something that came with a huge physical and emotional response today w my T. It surprised me. I got on my bike afterwards, and it totally feels like the world is moving very slowly... and I have been shakey and nauseous (all of which my T says makes sense). It feels really weird, but it helps to know I'm not alone. It's frustrating for me... it's like "dang it, the trauma is over... not this now!" But I know too that this trauma response got stuck in my body in...Read More...

Hi Debbie, I'm also new here and actually wrote a post about dissociation a couple of days ago also! So I can really relate to your post. I think True North put it very well. I feel exactly the same as she does, I have different parts, and states but also don't have DID. I notice really small subtle things when I regress like instead of answering my therapist with words, I tend to shrug my shoulders like a five year old would. My body language becomes very childlike and even though I'm aware...Read More...

Take full ownership off it. The more we push it away, the more we project into the world around us and experience the world as a cruel unkind place. When we sit with the voices of self loathing we actually become whole and will eventually begin to realise there is another side to us apart from this side.Read More...

Thanks everyone - I will come back and respond more specifically later. My head is rather fried right now but it is so helpful to read what everyone wrote. I sort of processed trauma with my T today - and have more new experiences and things going on in my body, heart, and mind afterwards. I don’t know how much processing I really did, it feels like I just sort of existed with the reality of traumatic events in my life. I just let myself sit with the reality of it. It was miserable to...Read More...

Hi Yaku, I've wondered this a lot, too. My T talks a lot about integration...integrating feelings, emotions, memories, etc. I've dissociated a lot of stuff as well, and so little of it has come back that I wonder if it ever will. I've been in therapy for 2 years, 1 of those with my current T, and for the most part, I still don't feel much and don't remember much. I just wanted to quote something that Jane said, though: I really, really, really relate to this. The reason I don't want it from...Read More...

Nice example LG of something I can relate to VERY well! Thanks. Freud thanks for explaining that, I see what you meant now, sorry I misread your post. LLRead More...

For me,if it's anxiety that comes unexpectedly, I try to "still" my system. I use a technique my Yoga teacher taught me. I place one hand on my stomach, and the other hand on my chest over where my heart area. I breathe into my stomach until I can feel it inflate with my breath. It really helps me settle. There is something about having your hand on your heart that seems to calm it down. I guess it's kind of like when a child is really upset and you put your hand on their back. Feeling your...Read More...

Hello Quilter. This sounds like an awful place to be in, that you're going to therapy to get/feel better and yet find yourself in opposition to the very person who is supposed to be helping you. Here's a couple of questions just to clarify: Is it possible you actually don't like your T? I've had Ts in the past where just who they were as a person really rubbed me up the wrong way, no matter how kindly or willing to listen to me they were, I found myself getting more and more resistant and...Read More...

http://www.adhd-becalmd.com/mm/orders.html I take Neu Becalmed (when I remember )recommended by my psychologist.unfortuantly I can't say it helps for sure, since I have not remember to take it consistently. arg. It's a combo of 5Htp which is known to help depressionsignificatntly and other stuff. Hope this helps- BBRead More...

What about some time consciously thinking about your hands and looking at them? I lost alot of weight and am amazed at how my hands look different and feel different too. Have you every just spent 10 mins just examining your hands, noticing where the veins and how you fingers move or don't move. Just enjoying the sheer awe of these wonderfully created things at the ends of our arms? Looking at the lines on your hands? wondering if they really mean anything? CatnipRead More...

Thanks for the hugs Yaku, sending some to you for your session tonight as well! (((((Yaku))))) I admit it, I'm quite attached to my T. It doesn't make this work any easier, though. 7:45 on a Monday night and I'm already heading to bed. It's exhausting living inside my head these days.Read More...