Kat, I am so saddened by your loss of Lucky. I have actually had two lucky's in my life! Both were great. I love animals and when I had to put my last dog down, it was horrible. That loss, that grief is like nothing else. One of the things that did help was a poem. I don't know who wrote it but it is called the Rainbow bridge. Let me warn you that you will cry, but to think that things might be the way it says, filled me with joy. You can look it up - it is worth it and might help.Read More...

To Monte - I know that's what it is for me, that's where it comes from, but it doesn't help me to remind myself. It actually hurts more. I ended up writing my T again and flat-out asking him if he was agry and if he still cared and he wrote back within a couple hours reassuring me. ~D. (P.S. I read my sent emails over and over too, trying to see if there's anything that sounds unforgivable.)Read More...

i feel your pain, amazon hate him all you can!!!!! and don't feel bad about it puppetRead More...

incognito - Thanks for sharing your experiences. It's so reassuring. Just wish I knew where it came from. I've had my share of bad experiences, but I can't ever remember feeling that assaulted. And it feels horrible to have to use that word about my H, who was just being tender and sweet. I get myself paranoid too, because I recently found out that I witnessed my sister being physically assaulted by my mom's boyfriend at 5-years-old, but don't remember it. I remember knowing the hole in the...Read More...

I think it is a good idea to talk about it with t. It is a real and important loss when a pet dies and the feelings around it deserve to be treated with respect.Read More...

Hi DF... thanks for the info. Can I ask what IOP means. I figured out the others are in patient and out patient. The problem is some places take males but not boys. I need to read the sites and then talk to the parents. I am not happy with the P because I think he could be doing more or at least keeping the parents in the loop as to what his plans and goals are. TNRead More...

Yeah, in this case, I hadn't read it anywhere. I really have been surprised about my level of control when it comes to reading about this stuff. I find it so fascinating, but except trying to understand things he has said that he can't make clear or to make clear things I don't think he understands when I say, I don't read a lot. It's why I am not getting the books people are suggesting to me on here, because I want that stuff to be filtered through him for now. In my last email (which is...Read More...

I can't decide if I want it to be something my T genuinely feels or not. If he genuinely feels paternal toward me, I will fill honored, but also afraid my calling attention to it will make him feel he has crossed boundaries, counter-transference or whatever, and he will withdraw suddenly. That is why I have been abusing these transference feelings out of myself and practically begging him to just neglect me or let me give up. If I let myself "have" that care in order to process the hurt...Read More...

Hi LG, I think your first post is terrific. It doesn't sound defensive and communicates your feelings. I have a few reservations about asking her how she feels the phone thing is working out. Because at the end of the day, the important thing is how YOU feel. And, what if she says she's happy with it and thinks it's working fine, will you back down then and be afraid to tell her what you need to tell her? You miss so much nonverbal over the phone that I think the skype thing would be great. IMO.Read More...

Don't worry, I enjoy and appreciate your input. I saw my name pop up as the most recent post on several threads and kind of freaked out that I look like obsessive or neglectful to my child (which I know I'm not, because she was napping during most of my posts and I tend to write pretty quickly). I hope T knows it has nothing to do with trusting or not trusting him, because the depth we've gotten to in such a short period of time is honestly astonishing to me and I've actually praised his...Read More...

It feels almost silly to be moved by such an experience… but I do… It’s been a rough week and sometimes, I remember this and I want to just crawl up into and hold these moments… the good feelings about the moments I had with my T… and then I think of not just the feelings, but seeing her again… and I’m so ready to run. Hmm. Not the feelings so much, but experiencing them with someone else… STRM and smiley ~ thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement and understanding (and...Read More...

AG thank you for that wonderful and easily understandable explanation of something that is really hard for me to articulate even though I do understand what happens and the process. You were able to put it into words for me. So thank you Hugs TNRead More...

Quilter, What a roller coaster! I am so sorry that you have had this experience with her. one minute you are feeling good that she reached out to you and then the next minute she flaked on you. I am very sorry that happened. I would most definitely bring this up with her, otherwise you are going to push it aside and it will later manifest as resentment. It may feel awkward and uncomfortable to discuss this with her now, but I do think it is best to sort through this now.Read More...

That is more what I'm talking about. Like, sometimes I wonder if strong feelings/reactions I have toward my SO are really related to what is going on in therapy / with my therapist. Sometimes I think I talk about feelings about my SO in therapy and it just seems so obvious that these are probably similar to the feelings I have about my therapist. I'll slip up and use weird vocabulary about my SO that suggests I really might have my T in mind (e.g. using words like "attuned," "engaged,"...Read More...

Hi MH, I've done just a plain old consult. But I think Sadly may have done that consult thingy you are wondering about. Good luck!!!Read More...

I promise you that you can survive that. It won't be easy, but you will survive it and we will be here to help you along the way should it come to a termination with her. And from the things you have written about her, I think you will actually be better off in the long run should you terminate with her.Read More...

Da Rock, How are things going now? Where do things stand with your T?Read More...

Hi Supermel, Just wanted to say welcome to the forums, and I agree with STRM (I do that alot ), you're story made me both laugh and cringe. AGRead More...

cnc, i like that. what i would really like, and they spoke of it, is sometimes, for the t to say what they really think. i have never really experienced what would feel like a purely unguarded honest expression. and THAT would be so healing to me, or, perhaps, so educational, to me. so, the honesty needs to be a two way street. yes, they are the professional, but, when i asked my t recently if i irritated her by saying something, she shut her notebook abruptly, stood up (it was end of...Read More...

da rock. my two cents. sometimes it is the little things that alert us to the bigger picture. the detail of the confusion is less key than the 'i'm right, you're wrong' attitude of the t...one could at least say, hmmm, i'll have to look... once i finally said to a t 'oh, i get it, you are right and i am wrong, story of my life, wonder why it took me so long to clue in here'... i hate that attitude from a professional, let alone a t. i understand what you say, that this just underlines other...Read More...

Sorry Frog, just checked in now, having a bit of a raw time. I have had strong feelings about my P whilst not in a session. When in a session I seem to respond to him as a father figure or as a collegue strangely. The fantasies about him only went on for a few weeks, but they were really worrying me even though I knew it was 'normal' and the nearest I could do about telling him was to say that my teenage self had a crush on him. As soon as I said that, my fantasies around him vanished. I...Read More...

Hi Stoppers, On the other hand, there's new T, who has an excellent memory. He actually told me that that's one of the compliments he gets from clients, that he remembers what they tell him. I've noticed if I drop a name once, he might actually bring up the name several weeks later. However, we went through a period when every session felt like ground hogs day. It seemed as though he didn't remember anything about me either. He didn't follow up on things we may have talked about the previous...Read More...

Oh June, what an important insight this is. I sometimes think that with my mom leaving so abruptly i never had the chance to seperate from her properly, and that something similar happens to people who are abandoned with unethical termination in therapy. So that step from beating yourself up to being able to see yourself is a very big and important one. Hooray for you! Pan PS From the missing my mom thread, funnily enough my mom was an amazing woman and hearing you say it touched me very...Read More...

Hi Daisy, I'm very attached to my T right now and find it unsettling and giving me a sense of peace at the same time. I'm very dependent upon him right now for validation of my world and a positive sense of self worth. I think ultimately if the relationship ended abruptly say due to his untimely death, I would probably be okay. He knows I find my dependency unsettling. He also reassures me that it is part of the process and that ultimately I will be able to give myself what he gives me. I...Read More...

Hi Da Rock I posted a reply earlier on this thread and it seems to have disappeared, i don't know if i posted it on the wrong thread and if it is going to turn up obscurely in some other discussion.. I can't remember exactly what i said but firstly i am sorry about your uncle and that you are having to say goodbye to both him and your grandma at the same time. I guess what i am trying to say is that the only person who can really know if your T is helping or harming you, is you. And i...Read More...