tn, thanks. your words mean alot. you hit some good points. yes, i do not feel contained. what i like most is what you said: "I find that I don't have to wonder what he is thinking about anything because he TELLS me and that answers my doubts and I can feel held and contained until I see him again. This is really GOOD." tn this is really good, so you don't have to wonder. i have to ask, and i can, but i feel so silly...'what do you think of me'...too, it is a trick question, what is she...Read More...

Hi Bluesky, welcome. I wrote a response yesterday but lost it - will try again. I think AG is right on here. I also believe that your T may have let *you* hug *her* rather than taking it over with her own hug, precisely so you could feel your own warmth and lovingness, and feel it be safe. She invited your hug, she held your hand through it, she welcomed it. She didn't recoil or flinch away. If it didn't feel nice to her, you would have felt that in her posture and her muscle tension -...Read More...

you know, it is ME putting so much emphasis on HER caring. come on, jill. she is not mommy, she can't make up for that, she can't cross boundaries that i am sure, although i don't like them, are for my own good. no, she is not perfect, but, jill. let her help. quit fighting her, quit faulting her for not being exactly what you want. cross that bridge, jill. come on over. let her help you, take it for what it is. agh! y'no, she made me write my goals in life, or values, i forgot how she put...Read More...

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Frosty, This is going to be a quick suggestion because I'm off to T, but have you tried taking probiotics? I have had issues with IBS and it is definitely stress/anxiety related and taking probiotics really helped get it under control. Just a thought.Read More...

Getting angry works great for me. I just launch into it. This is the easy stuff for me. Talking about my life is harder. But I understand that is different from your experience. What if you started off by saying something like ive been thinking about our relationship together and i would like to talk about bla bla. sometimes, if you are really deliberate, it allows you to be more tolerant of the discomfort. thats how it can be for me. its like if i spell out what im about to do, out loud, it...Read More...

Hi ab, Hmmmm, it sounds like you are really torn about this T and whether you want to continue. I will tell you how I read her comment and you can see if maybe this fits for you. If not, toss it out! I read it as her saying that like the old Christmas ornament, she will always be there. Every year you put that tree up and the ornament is there even though you didn't take it out all year. So, I think what she perhaps meant (and I'm just guessing here) is that even if you take a long break,...Read More...

I totally understand. I`ll delete my reply as well in case its triggering.Read More...

Well it was nothing like I was afraid it would be, my return to therapy. I talked openly and honestly about my feelings during the break then as I spoke I stopped myself and said "Oh, oh, I'm not just talking about you and missing you am I", T said "go on", and then I begun to talk about my early abandoment days, and couldnt believe I had gone back into one of those flashback places again and not been aware of it, it feels so real at the time, It felt like the realness of seeing T again...Read More...

(((((Jane)))))), I'm sorry that your mother can be so difficult to deal with. She sounds like a toxic person and I can see why you wouldn't want to talk to her on the phone. I think that an alternative to giving people ultimatums is to set boundaries for how you like to be treated and then give that person the option to either respect and honor those boundaries....or they can choose not to. Remember you cannot control other people, you can only control your reactions to them. Instead of an...Read More...

Hey, Cat... that is so wonderful. First that he took responsibility and did not get defensive. Then he was willing to "hear" you and allowed the session to go even deeper. He did not back away and neither did you! So Congrats on that one. You did a lot of really good work with him today. And it was also good that he didn't charge you for the session. It does help a lot when you repair so well after a disruption in therapy. When the T allows you to actually see his care for you and to feel...Read More...

Welcome Davy, While I am not that familiar with somatic therapy , I am sure there are others here who will be better able to answer your questions. But, anyway welcome to the forums! Look forward to getting to know you.Read More...

Hi Sweetpea, I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time currently. Being ripped apart inside is so descriptive of just how you are feeling. Just keep coming here to talk with all of us so we can support you while waiting for your T to come back. You are not a failure!! Just a person that is struggling right now. Take it easy on yourself and take care,Read More...

I am a little worried that LizzieGirls's T asked for a hug. It would have felt safer if he had asked if she wanted a hug. But he asked for one. I think I would call him on it, and ask why and that he must be careful of his own feelings around a client. Just cos I have been through one therapy experience where the T DID get attracted to me and started acting on it and it all ended in tears. So be careful. i don't want to spoil the nice feeling of it, but it is a little unusual.Read More...

JD, Sorry for the late reply, I've been sick and offline. I agree with Frog, that was a great "ramble" and not rambly at all. I really felt like I was there with you in that parking lot and I could relate to the mixed feelings that you were having seeing her again and reflecting back on your relationship. As far as feeling like it's not ok to want and wanting to be good enough, it is ok and you are already good enough. I know that is so hard to accept and I may as well be the kettle here...Read More...

Hi LG... well in my mind signing the email with her first name is more "informal" to me and friendlier. I think initials are colder. My oldT with whom I would frequently email would sign his mails all different ways and sometimes not sign at all LOL. The only consistent thing about him was his inconsistency. Don't read too much into it. Hugs TNRead More...

I found it! I think this site is really useful. http://www.hypnosisdepot.com/P...ial_Kind_of_Love.phpRead More...

Ruby, welcome and don't ever apologize for ramblin....we all do or have or have at least felt that way. I think it's great that you finally posted! Yes, it takes a while I think to settle into a "groove" so to speak with therapy. At least it did for me. To a certian degree, I don't feel like I really accomplished a whole lot of tangible stuff until about a year into it. I also realize that all of the stuff the first year was absolutely necessariy, although, maybe not earthshattering! I don't...Read More...

Great work PF! I'm so pleased to hear how well your session turned out and that taking that risk paid off. Good for you!Read More...

Hi AG, You are right I definitely wouldn’t tell someone who was struggling that it was their own fault. I have completely double standards and cannot offer myself the same empathy and understanding that I would naturally extend to others and I really hope I haven’t offended anyone with what I have written. No I am certainly not choosing to be sad...I really struggle with sharing my sadness though as it is not something I am used to sharing with anyone, therefore am feeling incredibly guilty...Read More...

Thanks, Starfish. Just a bit confused right now is all. Permafrost, don't think we've met yet, so welcome. No apologies necessary at all - feel free to post wherever and whenever you like. I understand the embarrassment, and I'm sorry you're stuck in that place. Just like the others have told me, I bet your T will respond with compassion and understanding whenever you do tell her, and she'll respect the reasons why you haven't told her yet. I didn't manage to own up to my T yesterday, partly...Read More...

thanks blackbird. i'm not sure if i can talk about it though. i dunno if i do feel attached to her. it's weird. i feel like i should be by now but i don't think i do.. i feel bad about that. my next appointment is tomorrow morning. maybe we're not the best match. but there's nothing i can do about that. i hope i won't freeze up tomorrow. thanks for being so nice to me. Kashley, thanks for replying. i feel like i can relate to you a lot! yeah my t is for free. i dunno if i can afford to see...Read More...

thanks, DF...you are always so helpful and reassuring. thanks to everyone, each one of you who's helped me so much. Yes your descriptions of those terms really described them well for me. I think I felt a bit "grounded" this past session, but I do not think it was something my T did, to make me that way? Gosh, idk, I feel like I'm floating away and I just struggle as much as I can to come to some kind of connectedness to my T, in order not to feel that hellish place of abandonment. That's...Read More...

I do this all the time, and it drives me crazy Liese. It is sooo hard to keep my thoughts together and follow them through, and it often leaves me with a really disturbed kind of helpless feeling. I know there is something that I need to say, something I badly need to talk about- but I don't know what it is! I can't "find"it. I don't know what to call it- but can I call it really annoying? grrr. hate it. BBRead More...

Hey Mac, STRM, TN, Starfish, DF, BB, I can't thank all of you enough for your support. Sometimes I feel like a five year old asking for what I want. It's soo soo hard. I asked for the 2nd session this week - something I've never done. Geez, I just went from going every other week to every week just within the last month so to ask for a 2nd session in a week is really bold for me. T was kind of matter of fact yesterday. Sometimes he puts on the serious face, the one that conveys the "I care"...Read More...