deleteRead More...

Yup, TN = smart cookie.Read More...

Dear AG - thank you SO much for putting words to elements of this that I was really struggling with. Thank you, thank you, thank you. xxxJRead More...

Emerald, I am so sorry that we hijacked this thread. Last conversation and then we can take it somewhere else. Russ, That's interesting that you can't see the links. So your T actually points them out to you? I do think and my t would never admit this andI know this sounds paranoid but I do think my T shifts things in our relationship a little, just a little, to get me to SEE/FEEL things. I also think the way he runs his office can bring up a lot of issues. So he kind of uses the setting of...Read More...

(((((Sheychen1))))) So painful. How is steady T? Have you made her your T yet?Read More...

i was feeling better but now i feel horrible i have so much work to do.. and nothing is working out the way i want it to. i feel like dropping out of college right nowRead More...

df, just have a second, but thanks, and yes, that was a clever way to validate you, i have said what you said, 'it wasn't THAT bad', but i like that it was real, this is real. so MANY of my feelings as a child were NOT validated, as i suspect yours weren't, so it IS hard for us to see that what we are feeling is REAL. real has to be touched, y'no?? but, this is real. that is a great perspective, thanks for sharing. jillRead More...

BB ~ I've been reading along and just wanted to say I love your honest navigating and questioning of this. I have struggled with dissociation on and off for several years, and I maybe have a perspective I can add that is a little different - but not sure how to word it. And you have such great responses here! (I have learned a bit myself! and been comforted that I'm not alone in this too.) I'll respond myself later when I can - if I can - and you too, take all the time you need to process...Read More...

Aw, MH, thanks for sharing this powerful thing with us...that is love, isn't it? Blackbird...Read More...

Hi, Quilter...you are inspiring me to continue with my T's advice to excercise each day. I used to do a really pounding cardio when I felt that way and it helped a bit with the feelings. I'm inspired by your courage to do something good. I just wanted to say that! Take care, BB PS- Flamingo-Domingo! Nice to see your post! Welcome back!Read More...

BB, feel free to use whatever I wrote. I'm just glad some of it helped. Hope you're doing okay today. (((BB)))Read More...

Hi Morgs, Nice to meet you too!Read More...

Agreed, Morgs...I'm seriously considering meds, myself, right now sweetpea, and I know what a difficult decision it is, especially with the worries about side effects. I'm wondering about your worry about your parents...are they not supportive of you being in therapy? If so, that would be a really hard place to be...let us know how you are, if you can. BBRead More...

Hi Quilter, We've had a number of discussions about googling on the forum (a favored activity by many of us ) and I include some links to couple down below. One is to a massive thread Update on Transference which in turn, at the end links to the topic Transference II. I know that it's an awful lot but there are tons of good discussions on the topic there. Hope this helps. Ugh ... I've done it again... Update on Transference Struggling with Boundaries in Therapy This is a post I wrote...Read More...

Hi Rio A belated welcome to the community!!! Glad to hear your session was pretty good!! Oh how I'd love to have your memory and be able to dissect my sessions - as soon as I leave a session my memory wipes most of it!!! It's actually a lifelong problem - last session we realised I remember little of my life (62 years) coz I was probably dissociated for most of it!!! It will be helpful to you remembering, just try not to overdo it!!! Again, welcome MorgsRead More...

Hi LL and thanks for stopping by my thread of confusion! What you wrote above is what I am going to attempt to do. Not that I really want to but for lack of any other solution to my pain I guess I should keep going. It's just that the simple act of walking into newT's office makes me cry because it's not my "home". Old T's office became my home because it WAS a home and not an office building. It was a 200 year old farmhouse and so many times I walked in and could smell the popcorn or...Read More...

thanks all, mh, i think things like that are best to get out in the first session. so you were smart. and really, when i think about it, i was not prying for my own curiousity, i was prying to see what was safe to talk about in there, as i sensed Jesus was not on his page and it makes me so sad to feel this. and like a big wall is up between us. thanks for your support. BB, regarding the husband thing, i really think it is this 'all knowing/master/parent' approval. and my husband is more of...Read More...

jones, it really is the core of why i am in therapy, to 'fix me' so that i don't do what my parents did. sometimes the best i feel is that my kids will need less therapy than i do. and that is a pretty lousy victory. i go back and forth. i told me husband, who witnessed the whole interaction, (keep in mind he is not the most swift with subtle tones) but he really didn't notice me being wrong in the incident. he said he would tell me if he thought i was ever being demeaning. BUT, it is just...Read More...

SG ~ that is so encouraging to know they got better! I think I write off breathing too easily. It is actually a new thing that focusing on my body feels ok. I think I just write it off because it used to not feel ok, so I’d never feel better taking deep breaths… hmm, time to give it another try. You were having attacking coming out of the Army? I would have had them going in! That's amazing. (btw, thanks for serving our country. ) My T said that every T I let the anxiety peak and ride it...Read More...

Yep, the MA means Master of Arts, most likely in counseling if I had to guess. There should be other initials that reflect the license used to practice like LMFT, or LPC or something along those lines.Read More...

Welcome, Quilter...and welcome Liese... For myself this needing more sessions thing seemed to play out, that my fear of asking for more frequent sessions became part of the therapy. I hav'nt still managed to continue, consistently "ask for what I need" as my T always says, in this area, but I know I am "supposed" to. It's just really hard. I fear being a bother. Maybe, try asking for more more frequent sessions...your T might be waiting for you to ask! Sorry to hear, you are in the middle of...Read More...

DF, thanks. yes, i have not begun to list this stuff out, a bit overcome by numerating them, it feels that there are so many. mainly having to do with my childhood neglect by my parents. emotional neglect and psychological neglect and abuse...mainly my mom, but also my silent father. probably the biggest resentment is to myself for the massive denial i covered this all with for 40+ years, and acted in a co-dependent relationship with them, just living at dire odds with the reality of my...Read More...

JD, Well, I think the fact that it made you feel weird is a sign that it was crossing your boundaries. I think the doctor visit and driving you etc. could be ok depending on the circumstances at the time. It is unusual, but I wouldn't say for sure that it is crossing a boundary. I think the most important thing about that would have been to discuss it with T at the time and talk about what that all meant and clarify any boundary issues that might have come up as a result. I had a T in my...Read More...

Hey Mac, You did answer my question... I think it's great that you're upfront with your T and able to ask direct questions. I also think it's really great that even without any self-disclosure (besides about what's happening in session) you still feel incredibly understood. Frankly, that's awesome. Drifty, It seems too bad, to me, that you feel you have to be careful about what you ask your T so that he doesn't elaborate too much...have you ever considered maybe telling him how it makes you...Read More...

JD thanks so much for posting that link. It’s really interesting and has lots of valuable stuff about Gestalt. Lol way back in the 80s I read all of Fritz Perl’s books and was really taken with the idea of gestalt therapy - but back then Gestalt was still pretty confrontational and didn’t really work for me. I’m going to see a new T this week who has gestalt/psychodynamic approach listed as her style. For me should be the best of both worlds, being aware of how the past affects the present...Read More...