LG I too would agree with my learned friends above!! I have learned very slowly that I have to be VERY specific about exactly what I want to talk about and in what depth. I used to give vague statements about how something was difficult for me and then get frustrated that my T never took it further but now I realise that more of it has to come from me. She has to know I am willing and ready to go to that place and then will walk with me 100%. LG maybe your T needs that confirmation, sex can...Read More...

I have never heard of Lovan, but it looks like it is Prozac under a different name. I have heard that it and Zoloft both help with OCD type issues. As long as your doctor that is prescribing knows that you're dealing with an OCD tendency and treats it as such, you should be on your way to getting past the obsessive thoughts. Mine are mostly gone, unless of course I start thinking about my T on my own and worrying about her by choice. Then that is my own fault! But yes, obsessive thoughts...Read More...

Dolphinac Sorry to read your post and hear your struggles. Why does everything seem to happen all at once? It can feel so unfair. Just a thought, but have you spoken to college about your financial difficulties? I know when I have done courses recently there were grants available that were means tested . . only an idea and one you've probably considered anyway. I can imagine how disappointing it must be for you, especially with such positive encoutagement from your tutor, but the course will...Read More...

Hi SG...yeah those things that he told me about being me and knowing myself were really powerful statements and I keep thinking about them. Trouble is... I don't know who I am. I've always been so busy trying to be what my mother wanted me to be, or what my boss expects me to be, or what my husbands thinks I should be that I have never taken the time to know who I am and what I want. I guess this is something I'm always working on in therapy. Maybe not in a focused way but it's there in the...Read More...

Hello there Amazon Thanks so much for replying. Lots of questions! I have no idea. I think I just assumed from reading the posts on forum generally that a lot of people seem pretty clear that their therapist does care, and it struck me as something I have no idea about but it seems important. You know you could be right in your last comment - maybe therapy IS all about experiencing someone who does care, in a ‘proper’ way, so we can take that experience and make it real. Don’t know, just...Read More...

Hi Dolphinac thank you for your hugs, and for reminding me that I am the expert on me. Yes it is distressing to feel so strongly about him, if I could stop caring I would, I just don't know how to stop. I love this site too and I am so thankful for each and every person too. Hi Amazon, I guess things are a bit on track but I am still obsessing more than ever. I only see him once a month which makes it easier to cope with him but I am still obsessing. New P is fabulous. Has the boundaries and...Read More...

my p believes i have not got bipolar 2. she says it is depression and anxiety with a couple of traits of bpd. i agree with this where i believe that there can be traits in all of us on the planet! i have not had a chance to understand everything completely yet i am beginning to make a lot of connections. college and cbt is helping that alongside talking more openly to my cpn and my husband. a big prt of me is on the mend i think yet there is another part of me which feels that it will all...Read More...

thanks monte I don't think I am handling it so well this weekend... but thank you for the prayers and good thoughts humor is indeed a very good release valve for meRead More...

Thanks for your explanation, True North. Dharma, I too feel like I have some OCD issues, only it's with certain people. Most recently with my T, but with a physical therapist, 4 teachers, my husband, and some friends in the past. It sucks to have your life overwhelmed with intense and obsessive thoughts and feelings and compulsive behaviors (mine are "talking" to my T out loud in the bathroom or when no one is around, or searching things about her online, writing her letters in my notebook,...Read More...

Hi MH, Sorry, I forget that newer posters might not know about the HTML slapper. It's a device we came up with a while ago that started as something to hit someone with if they were being too hard on themselves and kind of evolved into a general punishment kind of thing. I didn't mean for you to use it on you at all. I was afraid that what I was saying would be difficult to hear and you'd want to hit me for which you would need the slapper. It's really good that you are crying out against...Read More...

Hi SarahB! I was just wondering how this turned out with your T...hoping for the best and thinking of you!Read More...

thank you BB, DF, monte, for being so honest about your feelings. I can relate to the endless loop of waiting for email, feeling ignored by my T and the extremes of positive and negative emotions about him and therapy in general. I hate being attached and I'm afraid it will never stop being so painful. I have a 4 year old who gets his blanket out of his room everytime something gets stressful and I feel like that only my blanket is a person with their own life who I get for 1 hour a week. I...Read More...

Hi Folks, Thanks for your replies. It is getting more difficult now. I know perhaps what I need to do. But also I don't know. Maybe I understand... I need to tell him what I want and what I need. I don't know if i will be able to do it soon. I understand that there will be a point that he won't be able to give me what I need from him. But maybe he will hear and embrace my needs and my feelings... hold me somehow... I don't know. I would like him to do and say something that would not feel...Read More...

Hi janedoe I think dragonfly summed it up beautifully with: I would have run for the hills too. I'm OKRead More...

Hi I'm OK, I'm back and as usual have a few things to say. First about the whole idea of being able to be without having to do. I have done both the "I'm so busy I don't have time to breath" and "don't bother me I'm on day 10 of my solataire marathon." In my case, both behaviors were my way of not having to be present and experience my feelings. The lack of care and secure attachment, coupled with abuse, in my childhood left me with no one to teach me how to handle or regulate my emotions as...Read More...

thanks MH - finally, I can see what I look like! Who woulda thought with a name like Jones?!Read More...

Hi KS... glad you found it helpful. Good luck in your session. TNRead More...

Hi UV, I am going through that, starting to feel the feelings. It is so painful and I am finding it very scary.Read More...

Yeah, I will keep yall posted on how it goes with the new people and if it helps imporove things with my P, since thats part of the point. Dealing with transference with somone you only see once a month is difficult and he wants someone near by that I can talk to weekly while trying to work through it with him. I am very thankful that he didnt drop me as a patient like I have heard other people on here say theirs did, but he said if I didnt have the therapist then he would stop seeing me.Read More...

J, at the end of my last session I started to mildly dissociate and my T brought it to my attention by saying, "You've gone someplace else. What is it? Do you want to talk about it?" It was only then that I realized I was rocking myself. I must have been acting child-like. I wasn't too far gone though because I was able to both comprehend her words and reply back to her. I said, "No, our time is up." (I thought this would get me off the hook.) She said, "It's OK. I invite you to talk about...Read More...

hi hb and jones, i have been bouncing around in my head and trying to get a handle on myself for a while now. sometimes i feel like everything is crystal clear and at other times it is muddy water that im swimming in. i sometimes feel that i am on the verge of discovering something yet cannot quite find the right words, know them or see enough to reach something. thats probably why i need therapy, to have someone nudge me in the right direction to get there to that moment of clarity where i...Read More...

Well, thanks HB, at least I know I'm on the right track. But then I don't want to be on the right track because that leads eventually to the end of the road and not seeing him anymore! Well, thanks anyway. I will try to enjoy and make the most of the wacky therapy worldRead More...

TN - Right now I am trying to get brave enough to move closer to my T. She seems to be encouraging of this, but I would freak if she moved away as soon as I moved closer. I am so glad for you that you not only confronted your T, but that you recognized it wasn't you that was the problem. I think some of us blame ourselves for our T's shortcomings by saying to ourselves that since they are the expert then surely it must be ourselves where the problem lies. Perhaps this is often true, but not...Read More...

Welcome, Emma! I'm glad you took the step to introduce yourself and share some of your story. I know it can be really scary but I think you will find that you're among friends. It sounds like it's hard for you to make connections with others. I have that problem too. But the good thing is now that you've taken the first step here, you can keep practicing with us by continuing to post and maybe, eventually, it will help build the courage to make connections with people around you. SGRead More...