AG wrote: Earlier, I read how we are unable to think clearly while we are reacting emotionally. My last post is certainly embarrassing evidence of that truth. I am less emotional now and, hopefully, thinking more clearly. What I am learning from that outburst is how deeply afraid I am to face the truth of what is emerging from my repressed and/or dissociated memories. I am at least equally afraid that my T will leave me (physically or emotionally) to face those memories alone. I have no hard...Read More...

Hi Wisdom, I've done some reading about object relations and my T does use some of the principles, especially since in many ways Winnicot and Klein were forerunners of a lot of attachment theory. My T is very well read about attachment and applies the principles clinically. But that's as far as it goes. He's CBT trained but his style if very eclectic. He's been working for over 30 years and has told me that he pretty much relies on his "gut" based on all that experience. He also reads very...Read More...

Hello, AG, I LOVE hearing about how your T has handled your feelings. Among other things, it helps to make sense of what went right, and wrong, in my own therapy. It also gives me the words to ask for what I need next time. And I mean that quite literally. With your permission, I could just take your last post from T to T until I find one who "gets it". Not that I can "plan" to have transference with a new T, but at least then I would know it's safe to talk about the issues that came up with...Read More...

Musical Me, Instead of agonizing over this alone, why not talk to your T about your mistrust? You are obviously recognizing a disconnect about what you KNOW to be true in an intellectual sense and what your emotions are telling you. We don't operate in a vacuum; you didn't wake up one day and think "hey, I think I'll decide not to trust anyone." I have very deep trust issues and took a long time to establish trust with both my Ts. My present T spent two and a half straight years reassuring...Read More...

TN - The question of how long I've been seeing my T is a slightly complicated one. I've been seeing her one on one for almost a year. However, I have known her since I was a teenager. When I first met and worked with her, it was at an eating disorders treatment facility, and she was one of the regular therapists. It was all group therapy there. I liked her and felt comfortable with her then. So, 16 years later, when I knew I had to make a change and going back into therapy seemed to be the...Read More...

Hi all....slightly off topic post but just wondering if any of you have had any experience with Lexapro? I was prescribed it 3 months ago (10mg) dose. I've come to the end of the course now and after discussing it with my T he recommended going up a dosage for now. I'm not really sure how I feel about that. Though my T does seem to be quite wary of giving anti-D's the ok so I think he's not taking the decision lightly.Read More...

Hi True North. Thanks for your reply. I have bought up my concerns especially about the no-talking and no reassurance numerous times...that is why I just stopped talking last time. I was getting no support. I'm not saying that T has to be a cheerleader, but what's the point of having therapy if it just truly does replicate the past? I had another therapist for several years and I felt supported, T talked and was engaging with me, and reassured me when appropriate. It was difficult and there...Read More...

Hi emogirl and welcome to the forum! I'm so glad that you've been helped by what you've read here. You should be really proud of yourself for going to your T and being open about your feelings, it's a very scary thing to do. And it's great your T reacted so well. I have really found that being as open about my feelings with my T as I'm capable of has really helped me to heal. And you'll find a lot of support and wisdom here for what you're going through. Looking forward to getting to know...Read More...

Thank you for the info Shrinklady I don't feel so bad about having trouble with this search now. Unfortunately, the site you list is pretty much for the wrong side of the continent I will definitely be attending your webinar! Thanks again,Read More...

LTF - Don't feel bad if you need to close your eyes. If it helps you to get better, then do it. I'm sure your P will be just fine with it. I've asked my P to turn around in his chair, so that I saw his back. We were talking like that ! LOL I also felt childish and like we were playing a game. It was embarrassing, but it helped me to open up and express what I needed to!Read More...

Hi Helle! Nice to meet you! I'm so glad you posted! It takes a lot of courage to jump in here and I'm so glad you did! I think you said that perfectly! It's so true... processing/working through everything IS work but it just doesn't feel that way sometimes... it's hard to measure and even harder to be satisfied with on a daily basis. CONGRATULATIONS!!- I think... Therapy is such a mixed bag of struggle and success and PAIN and love that I never quite know what to say... hmm... how about I'm...Read More...

Hi HBS, sounds like you have a lot of insight about your insecurities which is a great start to beating them! When I was reading your post I kind of feel like you answered your own question in there without even knowing it. You MUST be special to your T for her to stick with you. She sees things in you you probably don't see in yourself. And she is working really hard to help you. You don't try so hard for someone you don't care about. She'd just let you push her away and forget it/you. If...Read More...

Hey MP, I'm glad to hear that things went well with your T, and that he was able to put your mind at ease. Be well! HolzRead More...

Hi Summer, It is totally understandable why today, especially, is hard. It has been a long road. It seems that your P's failure to return your calls before he disconnected his line was completely about him, and definitely did not consider your needs. Since you do trust your T, maybe you could tell her directly how you felt belittled, and that your feelings were not validated. It seems like she has been a good support through working through the termination, and it might open up a thoughtful...Read More...

There are a few different ways he expresses it. Sometimes I piss him off enough to yell at me a little. But the good thing is I know with him that when I make him mad, no matter how mad he gets, he still cares and will be there for me. He expresses it much like a parent would towards a child who has done something wrong and something that the child has been told over and over again not to do. But in the end he always lets me know everything is okay. And him expressing it to me actually helps...Read More...

Well, to start with, you could talk to your T about reducing the frequency of your sessions. At one point, I thought I was about ready to stop therapy, so we switched from weekly to bi-weekly sessions. We discussed reducing them further until I just came back when I needed to. I don't think it's necessary to go "cold turkey." In my case, I did sabotaged myself, but that is part of the stuff I'm working on now.Read More...

Ive had cranial sacral work done for pain and I never had a emotional reaction to it... ive had a number of massage therapies done and it helped a lot... loooove it but for me, the emotional part is having the right massage therapist. ... i find that's the big deal and can make a difference. I had a therapist that was good but i felt tense ... however i had someone really wonderfuil work with me a long time and even male shockingly. but i felt trust and it was great.Read More...

Hi again TN, I love your reln' with your T! That is awesome...I'm happy for you that he listens and gives you credit for your half of the reln'. Here is a breakdown of Herman's book.... PART 1: TRAUMATIC DISORDERS Chp 1. A Forgotten History Chp 2. Terror Chp 3. Disconnection Chp 4. Captivity Chp 5. Child Abuse Chp 6. A New Diagnosis PART II: STAGES OF RECOVERY Chp 7. A Healing Relationship Chp 8. Safety Chp 9. Remembrance and Mourning Chp 10. Reconnection Chp 11. Commonality Yes, this book...Read More...

Hi Pippi... I'm so sorry you are suffering with this. In my opinion you could be dealing with feelings of abandonment by this T and that could be triggering things from your past. Of course, I don't know anything about your past or why you are in therapy but it may be worth looking at with your P. And yes, you could also be feeling "OMG, what if my P does this too?" That is a perfectly normal reaction. All of this is very valid to either bring up with your P and/or this T. Another thought...Read More...

Emerald- I'm sorry to hear your anxiety is getting harder to manage. I know this all must feel very overwhelming to you, but I encourage you not to run although you really want to (I know the power of that flight reflex!). Focus on the six months you do have... maybe make some goals you'd like to accomplish in the next six months with your t. What does your t say about her leaving? Are you going to keep seeing (over the next 6 months) the pdoc that is taking over for your t? It might help...Read More...

Hi Karie.... We have actually had book discussions. You may be interested in reading this thread: http://psychcafe.ca/eve/forums...1009181/m/5061071674 It is a discussion about General Theory of Love. We should start a new thread about the book Attachment in Psychotherapy once some of you have had a chance to read it. TNRead More...

Thanks Heather, When I move out of the feeling bad about almost everything including my right to breathe, I see the other side to living that is so much more positive. Once I got going today after talking to a couple of friends, I felt better. I have been trying to do a few more things towards moving, started to pack and get rid of stuff etc. My boss called this afternoon asking when I was coming back to work! I didn't have to pick up the phone even though I thought it might be her...just...Read More...

Hi Flicka .. I laughed when you said that you tell yourself to shut up. All I could imagine was seeing you do that in a mall or something LMAO I'm sure people would only think you had turrets LOL that's not so bad is it? I don't have to worry about C/T because there isn't any from my P .. she's str8 ... whats with that. Not to mentions she's 25yrs my senior, and just mentioning a relationship with that age gap in here will get you strung up and stoned by the town folk! LMAO THAT WAS A JOKE...Read More...

Hi CG ... I didn't want to have to tell you this, but umm, picture viewing is reserved for the smartasses in the house, not the 'NICE' people, so stop being so damn nice all the time. LOL Kidding Not sure why you can't see the pictures, maybe your computer has a security thing blocking access or something. HollyRead More...

MP, I don't know that much about your background so this may be way off, but you mentioned abandonment issues. What I have learned through my relationship with my T that I was really unaware of before working with him is that moving close to someone evokes a lot of fear and a desire to head in the other direction because it turned out so badly before. As we let down our guard and start to trust, our relationship template know as our attachment style, kicks in and tells us we're in danger and...Read More...