WO, in T's office, I am not even remotely close to who I am outside her office. I can carry on a conversation with anybody in the outside world but in her office.....crickets. I joke and kid around at work, with my friends and such but never with her and she has a great sense of humor. I sometimes wish she could observe me in my real life. I don't mean to be different but it just works out that way. I hope this is what you were looking for. By the way nice to meet you.Read More...

Thanks to all for their responses and thoughts. From a number of "on-line" quizzes I have completed recently, the attachment "style" with regard to my parents was an accurate representation of the dynamic that existed prior to cutting them away from my life (dismissive avoidant). The circumstances and events leading to this attachment behaviour are clear. On the other hand, my "traditional" style would be deemed secure and yet circumstances in my current relationship, by definition would be...Read More...

True North, I hope the best for you, too, in your discovery of your Inner Child. I agree that it is the therapist that makes all the difference. If the T doesn't fully accept this Inner Child work, it's hard to trust. It's already so hard to trust. But my T loves kids and comes across so harmless, and at Easter she talked about the cute bunnies, chicks, and ducklings. I couldn't help breaking out in tears from her talking to my inner child that way. Nobody can make me break down by threats...Read More...

This is a good thing to ask your T tomorrow and discuss with him. Good luck TNRead More...

Thanks Liese and Room2Grow-- Very helpful. It is certainly a different type of modality. I keep thinking about what happened in session and it's hard for me to comprehend it. Maybe it will get easier with time. Thanks for your responses! LJBRead More...

Great reponse AG! The sentence about power and exploitaion...that is exactly my problem. We just talked about this yesterday. They are so measured and in control, it makes me crazy!Read More...

Thanks again for all the support. I am definitely not giving up on my P, and when I go back to my next session, I will try to find the right way to question why he spent so much of the last session expressing his views and trying to give advice. I sometimes overreact to him, and in the past, we've worked through similar problems, so hopefully that will be the case this time.Read More...

AG, thanks. It does feel really good when another piece of the puzzled fits. Then last night I have the worst dream about T. Everything I've thought he was....he was not. One of those dreams where it was SO real. Now I must convince myself "it was only a bad dream". Thanks for the other recommended posts of yours. I've already read some of them. Very good.Read More...

AG, good you spoke of just a dream. Anything sexual is SO uncomfortable. My T said it's uncomfortable for him too. But once it's laid out on the table and respected, it feels relieving and can create those breakthroughs. So glad you found Chuck Wild's music! I LOVE it and it helps me so much.Read More...

See... you're brilliant!Read More...

Thanks for the link to the book forum AG...I'll start looking there too. I've already tried the advanced search as you suggested, but as of yet, cannot locate the book, but I am going to keep trying. I also tried Amazon RT, and haven't found it yet, but then again, when I searched it came up with 100+ pages, so I need to keep hunting--or refine my search! On the upside, I am learning how to navigate the boards better and in the process, I keep stumbling upon more and more valuable...Read More...

Thanks again to all who replied. I have been very busy and am just sitting down now to soak in some of the other replies. Thanks RT for explaining what you needed and didn't get. I identified with many of them. I know I have to cut myself some slack in order to move on. I am just not very sure how to do that. Keep talking with T I guess. Erica, I know you understand this feeling. This subject keeps popping up in my life also. It comes up in therapy, here on the forum, basically all over. I'm...Read More...

Thanks TN. I've been well. Yes, I am still seeing T every two weeks. My therapy appears to have reached an equilibrium. I do not know if it is because I am stalling or because this T has simply taken me as far as she can. Perhaps both. At any rate, I feel she's been morphing into more of a life coach/quasi-great aunt figure. It's good to have someone like that in my life, but I would like to be working more intensely in therapy. However, I will be moving to a new city soon because of a...Read More...

Re: I Thought I Had More TimeRead More...

LJB...You are very welcome! Good luck to you.Read More...

Ahah, fun part, I apparently dissociate (midly) every time I mention this topic.... which makes it sooo much easier to broach....Read More...

Thank you everybody. Times are a changing for sure! I actually find comfort in knowing/seeing what a loving soul and father this man is. It gives me hope and I see real parental love does exsist in the world. It has shown me, too, that his compassion, empathy and care for me is authentic, which is something I constantly struggle with; that someone could actually care about me. He is the real deal and I am so lucky. He feels like a treasure that has graced my life. His family is so fortunate.Read More...

Thank you to each of you for your heartfelt replies. All the best, T.Read More...

i've brought up various subjects that have been discussed here with T, and he did ask what the name of it was and i did tell him. i don't think he'd ever check it out, though, and it wouldn't matter if he did since i tell him most "stuff". the place is very private to me. other than T, nobody has a clue and it will stay that way.Read More...

(((CAT))) We cross posted. That was an interesting point you made about having two therapists not being twice the love but more likely twice the work. Something to seriously consider. I am not sure exactly what I said but I do think I have said I am looking for a new therapist. At the end of that session with the one I talked about above, I happened to mention that I might like to see my current therapist once a month in addition to her and she made a face. She did not like the idea. Then...Read More...

I feel the way a lot of people feel on this post. My first T, I was with for 5 years before he became terminally ill. My second T, I was with for approximately 20 years before he retired because of suffering a stroke. I've been with my current therapist for 4 years. Not once did any of them bring up the subject of termination because that "time is up." Like was said above, a lot of times it is dealing with the trauma and other times it is just trying to cope from day to day. Something like...Read More...

I'm not comfortable with strangers touching me at all. It isn't real comforting when a friend even touches me, but it does happen and I try to be as accepting as I can. Also, I get really nervous and upset if anyone stands to close to me, and is in my personal space or personal comfort zone, because I think I'm afraid they might touch me. My T touches my shoulder when he walks me out after a session, and I didn't like it at first, but am more comfortable now. Recently during a session, I was...Read More...

(((SB))) Has your T stated that she will only touch you while crying? Sounds like your T would be comfortable with touch at other times, too. If this is something you're wanting, it might be good to bring it up for discussion. (Easier said than done, I know.) (((Shaman))) Thank you for your lovely response. Your T sounds amazing, as does your relationship with her. From where I'm sitting now, I don't think I'd want more in terms of touch than T just holding my hand. The thought of more than...Read More...

Hey AV! Never heard of it. Had to google. Let us know how it goes for you. -RTRead More...

(((ELSEWHERE))) I'm really sorry for all the pain you are going through. It is a tough situation to be in and I think your holding up as well as anyone could. Keep reminding yourself that you only have control of knowing the facts that your T told you about, and you can't worry about the things she has not told you about, because at that point its all a guessing game without facts and you don't want to create a lot of anxiety for yourself, and you don't need to punish yourself that way. I...Read More...