Dear TAS interesting topic. Glad you started it...because I do follow your process and I find it quite interesting. And my humble opinion is that you are doing great although hard job. Just keep on going. Regarding this topic, my perspective is like RT said...And your last post...my feeling is, that you do not like other Ts because, you want this T to change, to give you what you want...And he doesn't. and now you have a challenge, that keeps you frustrated with him . It is maybe related to...Read More...

You are welcome Chezza and Thank you AGRead More...

As you can see, you are not alone. Most everyone has trouble with opening up. It is scary stuff and therapy is a very slow process. It will transform your life if you stick with it. My t says I have a switch on me somewhere. Continue to "show up" and not space the sessions out. The alliance will grow in it's own time. Everyone is different. Give yourself permission to feel what you're feeling. I have huge abandonment issues and the anxiety too. I used to get sick before a session and tremble...Read More...

I really appreciate everyone's input. I have not stopped thinking about this all weekend and am very anxious about seeing him tomorrow. We have discussed the abuse from my father towards my sister(s). We are very open with each other and have a very unique/professional relationship and I treasure it. He told me he was in awe of me and has reverence for me because he knows how painfully difficult being in therapy has been for me. Had his card in my wallet for 10 years before I called him. I...Read More...

Puppet, Thanks for your reply. I do understand what you are saying. I think it was just a bit difficult for him since I was away and really, what was he to do? What response could really help me? I'm not sure anything that he had said would have made me feel better, to tell you the truth. But, he always tells me I have to get in touch with my feelings because I don't ever get mad. I internalize it. Well, after his response in the text, believe me, my anger backfired, BIG TIME. During...Read More...

Anna, I'm so sorry what is happening. It sounds like you are in much pain and I don't blame you. I'd be the same. A T. needs to be consistent and trusting. With cancellations and promises to schedule but then he doesn't follow thru is not good. This is not right.Read More...

Oh gosh , I think my T will not handle many me, . My T does not like very much someone to depend on him.Read More...

(((JILLIAN))) There is a lot of wisdom that has been offered on this forum to you, and I think its all very accurate and comes from the heart. I pray you take in the advice and choose wisely. ((((YOU)))) are the most important thing to look after and take care of, YOU COME FIRST! Personally, and I could certainly be wrong, but I think you are much to fragile to go see your Brother or your Dad, unless you honestly see those visits as the outcome will "POSITIVELY" only be emotionally healing...Read More...

(()ELSEWHERE)) I'm so sorry for all that your T is dealing with, and I'm also sorry for the anxiety that you are facing. I know that this is easy for me to say, but really try as hard as you can to deal only with the facts that you do know, and not project anything else that you fear might happen, because it can only make things worse for you. I know its so easy to worry, but keep coming to talk with us, and stay as busy as you can. Is there another (Fill-In) T where your T works that you...Read More...

My T did write back today, the T said he would try to see me this week.. Just let you peeps know.. Thanks for all your hugs..Read More...

OH thank you both Therapy does knock me for six. Although T2 less painfully than T1 did. It took at least 3 days to 'come back' after seeing T1. Now, I go, say probably more, definitely cry more (though that still isn't all that often) and whilst I am really tired the day after I'm not totally out of it. Last night I read some stuff about the history of parenting (cos I was feeling fragile thinking about my failings as a mother). Our current ways of parenting are very different to that of...Read More...

I had one therapist who drove me 1 1/2 hours out of state to the college I attended so my traumatic memories could be activated. I would have made that a con, but that ended up being a pro...I saw him in a totally different light after that experience. My current T challenges me on my (negative) thinking all of the time. Believe it or not, that is a pro. Nobody ever really did that before and I think I need it. Cons: Every time they go on vacation...Read More...

Thanks for your kind words . So no word yeat , no phone call or mail, I am thinking if I should just send him short mail , ask if for next appointment ...Read More...

((((EME))))Read More...

Thanks AG, for making me feel welcome! Things are getting more stressful: T emailed a very short message stating she was out all week due to illness. I'm praying she'll be able to keep the babies, that's the most important thing right now. Glad you like my signature. I've even had it engraved on a ring. Which reminds me: I'll start wearing it again right now.Read More...

Yes, she MAY hate you - but, ethically a T shouldn't see someone they HATE. So I have a feeling she doesn't I ask my T a lot of she hates me… she says 'Not today… and not tomorrow or ever ever'. Well. How true can that be? Ya know… it takes a long time to build up trust enough to at least assume they think they don't hate you. I don't think ever in my life will I be 100% confident that deep down someone hates me but is just being nice because they haven't seen the reason to hate me yet. So,...Read More...

((((RT)))) first and utmost, i am so sorry to hear about the passing of your step-father. i send you my cyber-hugs and prayerful support during this difficult time. i think your T's offer is such a thoughtful outreach of human compassion. i am really sorry to hear that your partner's reaction was less than supportive. i am happy to hear that you plan on thoroughly discussing this with your T. i hope you can pursue it safely with your partner as well. in the meantime, my thoughts and prayers...Read More...

Thank you Lucina, RM, Jillann and RB44 Lucina: That was very considerate of your Therapist to do that! It is nice to know they truly care and that we are just not an appointment. RM: What you shared was interesting. I could see how it might be difficult to reach out if the Therapist lowered the fee. (I hope you are still reaching out if needed ) Jillann: "I trust her to make sure her boundaries are held and her needs are met." Great statement. rb44: That was nice of her to meet you halfway.Read More...

Hi Rachel, When my younger sister was 16 (she's 46 now!) she was addicted to drugs and pregnant. My parents committed her to a drug rehab facility. I was in college at the time. They scheduled family therapy for our family. I considered it awful at the time. Part of that was because I had escaped our dysfunctional family by leaving for college and hated being dragged back into it all. Before you have your family session I would suggest you and your T be very clear about what you want to...Read More...

(((Affinity))) I think it can be so painful to feel that attachment cry inside. Those feelings shifting from daughter/romantic/erotic I think might be our way of trying to understand such a dynamic - where does it fit? I can identify with all of that and the anxiety too. I'm really dissociative. The world often seems far far away if I'm triggered and I watch another 'me' talking and being (sometimes with horror if she seems to be very little). Sometimes its more like dissappearing down a...Read More...

Hi Affinity, If I could share that for me it got a whole lot easier once we did start talking about the attachment and our relationship. Those were hard painful days prior, and it was tough work when I finally did talk about my attachment AND it really did improve and enhance the therapy I was doing.Read More...

Quell, Her style of therapy does very much involve her needing to be very attuned to her client's states. It does make a lot of sense she would use this as a tool in therapy too, maybe more than others. You are right that if it is holding me back, I should certainly talk to her about it. She is trying so hard to help me feel safe with her, and really genuinely wants to know how she can help me feel safer. Smilingpenguin, It is new to me to understand that the visual and sound changes are not...Read More...

Hey CD-- I just asked my T about this last week. When clients lead their own therapy, he said it was called "client self determination." Even though I said he was the doctor, he replied by saying that he is no expert on me. He doesn't want to be that errogant and lead the discussion of the therapy, that it's a collaborative, mutual, co-creative process. Just thought I'd add this bit of info. LBRead More...

Thanks CD...I really appreciate it. I must say after the death of my first T, I saw two other psychologists, but the fit just wasn't right. Then I was referred to my 2nd T. I ended up being with him for 20 years. He was one of those therapists that went over and above what his job descritpion entailed. He told me 2 years in advance that he would be retiring. We planned on me "interviewing" new psychologists that I could go to. I'd go, interview them and report back to my T at the next...Read More...

Thank you guys (((exploring))) (((saka))) (((CD))) (((pengs))) Thank you for all the support, I feel a bit silly after the fact, I'm not sure why I had a session with T about it yesterday and she told me she's seen huge progress in my self advocacy, and that she was really proud of how much I'd taken what I'd practiced with her and applied it in this case. It still feels so extremely foreign and shameful for me to say no to anything, and I have to struggle enormously even in the small ways...Read More...