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Not everyone has attachment problems...Some people go to therapy with a feeling their therapist is a 'partner' rather than an attachment figure.

I think this is a good point to make, and for myself it took awhile to figure it out. When I first began therapy I had this idea that everyone was like me, lost in this desperate dance of disorganized attachment and crazy transference. In actuality, there are probably many more people who go to therapy with an entirely different approach because they don't have attachment problems and its not what they are seeking. Those kinds of folks just honestly need to consult with a professional to get some perspective on particular life challenges. They target those challenges, often within a relatively shorter time period, and then are fine to go on their merry way.

But a problem seems to be that the majority of therapists are only trained -- or simply prefer to work with -- the folks who do not have severe transferences or attachment wounds. (Because, let's face it, its easier. Those who have CPTSD or BPO are more demanding clients and require more of our T's.) They just are not comfortable doing it, and I think both discomfort and lack of understanding is the key for those therapists who think it best to ignore, deny, or discourage transference.

I have a professor right now who is like this. He is an LCSW and has a philosophy that he only agrees to see clients for 8 weeks at a time. If a client isn't showing progress by 8 weeks then he will re-evaluate whether he is wasting their time or whether they need to change things up and try another 8-week course. But he believes that long-term therapy is just stealing clients money unnecessarily. It is hard for me to sit in class without challenging him. I just cannot fathom that he really believes most mental illness can be fixed in only 8 or 16 weeks. It seems to me that he operates more like a counselor than a psychotherapist, working only with (in my view, and I hope this term isn't offensive to anyone) more superficial problems.

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Maybe there are exception, but I don't think there is any such thing as 'attachment therapists', except for children (example-RAD), and you are not the first I've seen here searching for one. I think to find an 'attachment therapist' one would look for someone who specializes in CPTSD/personality disorders, which often (but not always) someone extensively trained to work with transference. Or some focus on EMDR.


This is the conclusion I have come to as well. You can't find out what your T's background and philosophy is by googling "attachment specialists" but if the therapist has a lot of experience treating CPTSD or personality disorders then you can bet they have encountered plenty of transference and are more likely to understand it without freaking out.
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