quote:

It feels so complicated.

((((((((Cipher)))))))))
It feels complicated because your T is trying to make you do a part of her job which is impossible for you to do while you are also the patient. This sense of everything being complicated is exactly how I felt when a former T of mine asked me to figure out how I was going to keep the transference in the therapy from damaging my marriage. It was impossible for me to answer that question...because it wasn't my JOB to do that. It was HIS job to keep the boundaries, and as long as he did that, it wouldn't damage my marriage. Same thing is true in your case, as far as I can see it. Your T needs to define, establish, and keep the boundaries with respect to texting. It is impossible for you to be both T and patient, Cipher. I am sorry your T is putting you in this position. I know you are attached to her. I just wish it didn't seem to be hurting you more than helping. For me, the "therapy" with that former T was truly hurting more than helping. However, I didn't give up trying to do the therapy "right" until HE terminated ME. And when I had to find another T, I ended up finding one who kept the boundaries perfectly. It was SUCH a relief to finally actually GET to BE the "patient" and not have to try to do the T's job for him, too. I'm really grateful that I found her. I so much hope that either A) your T can figure out how to do this (soon!), or B) you can find someone who can. You work so hard for your healing, Cipher. You deserve to have a T who can really help you.

Hugs,
SG