I certainly identify with your "box" analogy. And yes, as I was reminded this morning, what we are feeling is natural - its just going against them bad messages.
You are so right when you say how easily we see the strength and courage in others but not ourselves. I have spent more time doing and caring for others that I never acknowledged my needs or positive points.
No need to be sorry for what you call a 'novel' Mine can be much longer at times, it just means theres alot you want to share
ellison