Hello Mallard and thank you for your reply and your good questions. She is an Audiologist/speech therapist and provides rehab related to my medically very complicated disability (the doctors have never seen a similar case, even the US-based manufacturer of the medical devices I use have encountered something similar) and also provides coping techniques and education related to living with a disability.

I've seen psychologist at a center with special knowledge to my disability. I saw a therapist at that place for a year and my panic disorder improved. But unfortunately my interpersonal issues and anger did not improve. I quit because I felt the therapy did not gave me anything anymore and I also felt a lack of understanding from the therapist. I was informed that the sessions would be over in near future anyway. I know I need a therapist but finding the right one is hard, as many has no knowledge of my disability and will contribute my challenges to bad attitude and are not afraid of telling me what they think.

It's a good question if I should talk about the incident and what I would want from it. I need to think about it.

I'm sure there is underlying things, as I probably had an attachment disorder as a child and was emotionally abused and also medically neglected as a child. My mother was probably in the BPD-spectrum but as she never saw a professional it's only an uneducated guess based on what I read about this condition.

I have anger issues but the anger I feel towards this T is a different kind of anger than I usually feel. I feel it totally consumes me and I have no way to vent it.

The work we are doing has not suffered particularly but I feel the incident we never talk about is there, a kind of 'don't ask, don't tell'. I'm somewhat restricted in my interaction with her, when it comes to personal things like asking how her holiday trip was and so on. I believe it is because I'm afraid of her cross my boundaries again. But I do not want a completely unpersonal relation, I've been in therapy with a therapist who was almost robotlike in her distant style.