Don't worry about posting a lot - this is a great place to go when you need to reach out, whether it's once a day, once a week, or once an hour
Anxiety meds - I personally take an anti-anxiety/anti-depressant daily. It took a while to find the right med, but this one has been working for almost a year. About 5 months ago or so, we added in Xanax on an "as needed" basis, as my regular meds need that build up in the system to be effective, whereas the Xanax is fast acting - literally within 10 minutes I feel a difference: calmer, heart slows down, I can actually catch my breath and focus. Xanax is fast acting and has a short life - so I can actually take several in a short time period if the one hasn't helped, and it won't deplete me or make me foggy.
I'd bring this up with your T or Pdoc or Dr, and let them know you're looking for some support. I'm not a fan of meds either, but just like glasses, some people need a little help to function within the range of "normal." Without my glasses I'm practically blind, but when I put them on, I see just as well as the average person. Without my meds I struggle to function, with them, I function just as well as the average person, if not better
