TAS,

I have been asking that very same question of myself and my T. My T is a huge trigger for me. It was getting to the point a few months back that just thinking of going to therapy nearly sent me into full blown anxiety attacks and often leaving sessions I felt on the edge of self-harm. The transference was/is super heavy and I feel like I have been blasted right back into reliving the trauma I suffered as a child.

The transference did in fact block me from sharing feelings and revealing facts about my abuse because my mom was my abuser and I have found some of Ts characteristics to be like my moms. When I became aware that it was a block I talked to T about it and when I didn't get satisfactory help from her I sought out another T to help me get to the underlying issues of the transference and that served as a huge gateway for me to start talking to my T and sharing more.

For so long I struggled as perceiving my T to be cold and withholding and it really brought up so many feelings for me. Anger at her for being withholding, feeling like I am not deserving of warmth... and the list goes on. It wasn't until just this past week that I gave T a letter telling her that I need more validation for my feelings and experiences and somehow that led into me disclosing new information about trauma to her. Had my T not had a favorable response to my plea for what I need right now, I was planning on leaving therapy with her because it was just pushing me over the edge.

At one point I told her and consult T that I needed her because she is my trigger, and I want to get to the core issues and learn how to manage the strong emotions that come up in this relationship so I have the skills to deal with uncomfortableness in other relationships as well.