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awareness of affect in therapy

Does anyone else out there struggle with keeping their affect "in check" in a therapy session? I so struggle through sessions to maintain expressionless. I struggle not to smile, not to laugh, not to cry.

I think back and it so weird. I have been publicly humiliated by people and have had some very insultive things said to me and during those times I have shown absolutely NO EMOTION!

I could be screaming inside, boiling over with anger, terrified, totally elated and no one would know. I know it stems from not being able to show emotion out of fear because as a child any emotion on my part only served as fuel for my mothers moods.

How do experience affect?
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