quote:

I'm very envious of those who get to work through their transference issues with their Ts. It seems like a very positive experience to me.

I know it has been for me. I had so many feelings surrounding my lack of attachment and so many disavowed feelings from my childhood that I had never been able to acknowledge let alone express. It was through the dynamics of the interaction with my T that these feelings surfaced and were expressed. There have been times when I have flung so many feelings at him that he had nothing to do with causing. But his ability to stay with me, hear me and understand me while not being threatened by my feelings has helped me to stop fearing them so much.

I don't think transference or dependence are necessary for everyone, but for me and my issues they have been key in doing some very deep work mainly because my T has handled the transference almost flawlessly.

I have struggled with these feelings in a lot of relationships throughout my life. Looking at more deeply with my T and figuring out the reasons and pain underneath those feelings are what has ultimately freed me from them and given back control of my life.

So I don't think that everyone needs to have this happen in therapy, but for those for whom it does happen, working through it, even if that means being dependent on your T for awhile (something I hated and struggled against for a long time) I think is the surest path to healing.

And OW, that is an extremely gracious thing for you to say with what you're facing right now. Thank you.
AG