quote:

Another thing I am working on with my T is the feeling that I have to "perform." To be accepted. I've had a hard time with that in therapy because I have felt that I need to perform right for her.

PL,
Don't tell me that you performed for your family too. As well as being the clown that made __everybody__laugh, and from a very young age mind you, I was also a performer in other ways. My mother was always setting me up to sing and dance whenever people came over. But somewhere along the line I must have suffered a humiliating blow and would refuse to do that anymore, much to my mother's strong disapproval and sore disappointment.

So I have experienced a need to "perform" a little for my T, but not too much I don't think. Of course I love to make her laugh (especially of she is trying not to) and then I want to be the good client and do everything right. But I think that stuff eventually takes a back seat and you reveal who you really are behind the mask. Not that the humor and ability to perform is necessarily a bad thing, but it won't always be a distraction.