) Since then I have asked permission to record our sessions because I was having difficulty remembering things. She was all for it and I find that extremely useful. I am surprised at how much I don't really retain in session. It must be too much for me to take in that it doesn't permeate with me. But when I listen to our sessions later I find myself saying "Wow, I forgot she said that or I didn't catch that before." It is very helpful and not to mention soothing for me to listen to it again(and again and again and again)later. Oh and when she says my name, yeah I love it. I _so_ get that.
quote:Like, if someone asked me to "be myself" and I didn't do that, I don't know what I'd be.
Wynne, I'm not sure if I really do either. This little child still seems to be dominating so much of my thoughts and behavior lately I don't know that I can see beyond that quite yet. So when she fully integrates I don't know what that will look like. But humor is a big part of who I am. It is actually one of the more positive coping mechanisms I've employed in a healthy way.
My journaling has pretty much transformed into a series of letters and updates to my T and I will often read them to her at the beginning of session. I'm a glutton for misery.
It's interesting how we all seem to cope so similarly don't you think? Have I said how much I love this community!
Love the avatar TN! I can see how meaningful that would be to you. Worrying about my T is classic transference. I worried about losing my mother for 28 years until I actually did lose her. So this fits my history and we will probably need to address that but where to fit it into an already jam packed session, I don't know. We'll put it on the ever growing queue. And judging by the size of that, I'll be in therapy for the rest of my life.
And TN, I am sure that your T having surgery would create some intense feelings of insecurity and fear for you as well. It feels like a such a risk and we can't risk losing them. Though I know that we won't, but at least for me that is what my fears are attached to. An impending fear of loss, of losing someone I _love_ and something very bad happening was played over and over in my childhood. As for calling or emailing your T after his surgery look at it this way, the only way he is going to get your messages will be when _he_ decides to check in. So you won't be "bothering him". It will be _his_ choice when he is up to replying. (unless he happens to have his cell phone on him when you call and it goes off while he is in surgery and he wakes up out of anesthesia to answer it)Seriously though, I hope that takes the burden off from you a little. When I confirmed her availability over the holiday she said she wouldn't be checking messages every day, but will be happy to call me back when _she_ makes time to do that. And I had to repeate that "So it will be your choice when you do and I won't be disrupting your holiday." She said "Right." I swear I am like a five year old.