I tried anything and everything to avoid having to ask my parents for something. It seemed like such a burden to them to give it to me or at least inconvenient. So I always felt guilty for needing things and for making my parents miserable when I had to get it from them. This is the root of my fear of bugging my T too much and why it is so hard for me to ask for anything from anyone. Especially attention, that was the hardest thing to get from either of my parents, so I grew up believing it was wrong to want it. My core self still believes these things even though my higher brain functions know this isn't the truth. Like AG mentioned it takes an awful lot of repetition of a positive experience before it completely sinks in and changes you. Problem is, it is so hard for me to even ask for the repetition.